I stand behind this assessment, just as I stand behind Journey, Huey Lewis, and any other prosaically sexy squad of hitmakers who decide it's their calling to entertain arenas full of potential Survivor contestants. That's a dirty job, and the ones qualified to do it can reliably turn out the hits. You wouldn't chide a bricklayer if he laid a fuckin' sweet wall, which is what 2002's Songs About Jane was: sturdy and functional. But It Won't Be Soon Before Long? Man, it could sprout wings and fly up my ass, and it'd still be as boring as owning a goldfish.
Blame it on expectations. Jane was music made by Maroon 5 for Maroon 5; it was still essentially a garage band at the time. But like an episode of Hannah Montana, this new guy is clearly designed solely for 14-year-old girls, which probably explains "Little of Your Time," a desperate aping of "Hey Ya"; "Won't Go Home Without You," a desperate aping of "Every Breath You Take"; and "Wake Up Call," a desperate aping of R. Kelly, because it finds our hero discovering a cheating lover and then shooting the dude. (See anything you like, Ramona Quimby?)
There's nothing wrong with making music for tweens or lighter-lofting boomers. It's simply a matter of execution, and these chums are scattered and grasping. Their once tightly focused pop&B is dashed on oily pop-rock tricks. Next time, fellas, just focus on building a wall.
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