She has that post-orgasm glow.

  • She has that post-orgasm glow.

Colondra Hamilton took multitasking while driving to a new level earlier this week.

Forget the people who drink their coffee, chat on their cell phones, do their makeup, or read the paper while driving. Those in-car distractions are child’s play compared to what Elmwood Place cops found Hamilton doing while behind the wheel earlier this week.

It all began when police noticed illegally tinted windows on her vehicle.

When they pulled Hamilton, 36, over, they noticed her pants were unbuttoned, a vibrator was sitting in her lap, and her passenger was holding a computer. Those dots were pretty easy to connect.

Yep, she was doing exactly what they thought she was doing… taking her talents to South Beach for her companion in the 2008 Pontiac.

This article appears in Aug 25-31, 2010.

Vince Grzegorek has been with Scene since 2007 and editor-in-chief since 2012. He previously worked at Discount Drug Mart and Texas Roadhouse.

54 replies on “Colondra Hamilton Charged For Masturbating, Watching Porn While Driving”

  5. Golfman, you are an idiot. “precious cargo”? hahahahah yeah right. shut those annoying kids up so i can eat my dinner in peace and quiet.

  6. Dang girl could’nt you have done this in private, not placing everyone else in danger for that nut you still did’nt get. Shame on you, you recieve the Shameless Whore Award of the Week.

  8. Damn crack head. Who would want to mess with her she is ugly as homemade soap. Looks like 40 Miles of bad road

  9. OMG! ROFLMAO I’ve worked in law enforcement for over 9 1/2 years and I thought I had seen and heard it all!! But this one woman takes the cake!!! I can’t stop laughing and I’m shock at how stupid and ignorant 1 individual can be – a car of all places? Please give me a break! If she was brought into my jail and I had to book her in my jail, I don’t know if I could keep a straight face! Thank goodness for stupid criminals! This one actually takes the case for me!! Robin, Indiana

  12. driving “with impaired alertness”……
    anyone driving w/kids in the car qualifies for this charge….

  14. i sure wanna know what the passenger was doing and or thinking while the driver was masterbating..lol..i cant do anything but laugh at this story!! atlease pull over next time and stop putting others at risk

  15. Just so sad that people out here will endanger others just to satisfy a simple need that can be met when they got home. No matter how ugly she is somebody would hit that..regardless of her situation or looks.

  22. Know thats what I, Call a sticky situation! She did cause any wrecks, nor did anybody have to witness her nudity and she is adult and hopefully her passenger was an adult! So relly none of anybodies business. Were the drug items against the law? Yes 100%,But Police should not be able to comment on anyone`s privacy!! thanks have anice day..

  25. yum yum Now that’s spicin up the relationship keeping things exciting. Shame on you all for chastising this committed woman.

  27. Lemme guess, golfman38, you call yourself a Christian, don’t you?

    Can’t wait to see your mugshot for soliciting a she-male somewhere.

  28. I wonder what speed she would have done if she had climaxed. Some times you feel like a nutt, and sometimes you are a nutt.

  29. Ewww! Gross as this chick is for DWD, Driving While Diddling, the main deal is that she was putting other people at risk because of her idiocy. Makes me wish that Criminal Stupidity was a punishable crime.

  31. I love the comments. She should have known better though. They say crack kills brain cells. I see that is true.

  34. Love the comments and the usernames! They are almost as good as the story! Where the hell did they find you people…lol!

  36. Oh Gross! I wonder if the cops had to bag that nasty vibrator as evidence? They probably just held open the bag and told her to just drop it in! YUCK!!

    The comments on here and the caption under her photo are hilarious! ROFL….”She has that post-orgasm glow.” LOL
    DWD (driving while diddling)!!!! LOLOL
    “bzzzz…..bzzzzz…bzzzzzz………………….” ROFL OMG!! I almost spit my coffee all over my laptop!!

  37. I can’t believe all these haters!
    Who among you hasn’t masturbated while driving?
    C’mon – be honest…

    🙂

  38. Omg did anyone really read this she wasn’t speeding or driving erratically she got pulled over because she had tinted Windows!!!! So yes she was wrong for doing it but she wasn’t apparently causing anyone harm sheesh

  39. Oh snap, so everybody doesn’t do this? Well, I aint trying to stuff a dildo while driving but there are things that you can strategically place and they do all the work (very relaxing, quiet neat and ladylike). Dang, the car is the only time I get to be by myself!!! I gotta get it in when I can fit it in. I get tired of trying to buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz quietly under the pillow. My little buzz-buzz gets very loud and it is very easy to get busted at home! My red little friend in my Scarface voice….is always with me. Everytime, somebody around me mentions batteries…I am like “Hey, what you need? I got 2AA’s, 3AAA’s and 9V…..uhmm, I just happen to have……#straightface

  41. How long are you stupid people going to keep this article printed. What is the point of it obviously the lady needs help alone with a million others who are mentally ill. I hope she gets rehab for her drug problem or sex problem and turn her life around. I see nothing news worthy about this article maybe the sick mentally ill person who wrote it can laugh about it.

  42. ms blue, why do you assume this person is mentally ill? And why do you think being horny is a sex problem? As far as I can tell, this is just an irresponsible person who deserves the shame she’s receiving. Maybe you’re mentally ill.

  43. Agreed Dmack, so horny people and masterbation makes one mentally Ill.. . Also when they post an article they don’t take it down so what do you mean ” How long you stupid people going to keep this printed.” well for one it is NOT printed and two, as I said , you think they delete stories as YOU read them? No news agency reports something then gets rid of it? LOL don’t come here if you don’t like it lol

  45. Thanks officer for violating my personal space. Why don’t you mind your own business and do some real police work. They’re just tinted windows. Maybe next time you can pull me over for having sunglasses on just to get a foot in the door to harass me some more.

    Not that the ol gal was in the right 100%, but maybe if authority figures weren’t so power hungry and hell bent on being pricks she may not be in the state she is. And maybe the cop could’ve been a decent person and said, hehe, hey look , you know this isn’t the right thing to do right? Let’s clean it up a bit and take it off the street. This is a warning. If cops were like that then maybe people wouldn’t have the attitude they have these days in general and to police officers. I get it, some folks don’t learn. And cops can go both ways also. Crack pipe, her business. Dildo, her business. Porn on the CPU? Her business. Tinted windows, her business. Not everyone down at the PD and everyone reading Scene Magazine. The weak American culture of being super safe. To quote George Carlin, “everyone is willing to give away a little bit of their freedom for the illusion of being safe”. Thanks to our weak, super patriot, more holy than thou, christian suburbanite soccer moms and golfman38 dads voting for Rick Perry and Michele Bachman because they don’t like gay’s, Blacks, women’s rights and wanking because the famous book of Jewish fairytales said so, we have to suffer this idiocy we call a government, airport security, the financial meltdown, war, and getting pulled over because well… they just damn feel like it and they can eff with you anytime they want no matter who you are. And there is nothing you can do about it.

  46. Too bad this can’t make AFVs. It would certainly take the 100k prize! Stupid but funny!!! Very funny! BTW, who is Colandra???????

  47. I wonder which episode of World’s Dumbest she’s going to be on…they’re gonna have a field day with her!

  49. LMFAO!! As I read this piece of entertainment I thought “CRACK/COCAINE” was most likely involved, and sure enough BAM! people r really off the hook, wow >>>

  51. How long is this going to be news on the Cleveland Scene website? It is certainly not relevant AND It’s almost 2 years already — NEXT!!!

  52. If she wanted to catch 1 while she was driving.. What is it to ya all?? No 1 would have ever known.. If the tent on the window wasn’t illegal!! I’m pretty sure some of the yall have done worse things while driving.. there is no law that says you can not masturbate while driving now just because I read this article I think I’m gonna have to try it!!!

  54. HaHA!! I am all for doing whatever your man wants(good GGG girl here!) So maybe it was like a
    dare, or figured, well, my windows ARE tinted…maybe we should get a little freaky! I feel bad for her! So she’s a crack head… I would have to imagine the men on here that are talking about beating and killing the woman are good,white,christian men (PUKE!) but maybe they are taking it too far,huh? Dont use your “precious cargo” (PUKE AGAIN!) as an excuse to be masogynistic (yes, I probably spelled that wrong!) ASSHOLES to women!! You want to beat..and murder for masterbation! comeone everyone lets vote for Mitt! (fucking dicks!!!)

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