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Malaysian people have a “moral issue” with Beyonce. Apparently, they want her to put a ring on it first.

Garth Brooks: still an asshole.

Miley Cyrus has a role in the new Sex and the City movie. Wait a minute … she’s not a horny old lady.

Good Charlotte guy says he’s happy being a family man. So does this mean no more crappy records?

Whitney Houston has a wardrobe malfunction onstage. We’ll save you the time, perverts: You can’t see anything.

The best thing about an Elvis auction? You really get your money’s worth if you buy clothes from his fat-ass years.

Yo, Kanye, I’m really happy for you, and Imma let you finish. But Michael Jackson had one of the best videos of all time. —Michael Gallucci

This article appears in Oct 14-20, 2009.