Let us apologize for bringing this sad news to you so early on a Monday morning. It’s not a role we relish. But as you catch up on your reading after a long Cinco de Mayo weekend, you should know about this gentleman from Lorain who put himself in a pickle with the police after he shoved hamburger patties in a woman’s face, because that’s just the kind of Grade-A guy that he is. Tomato. Onion. Pun, pun, pun.
According to police, the woman arrived at the man’s residence at roughly 1:15 p.m. Friday to retrieve an identification card she’d left. She said the man was highly intoxicated and agitated — so agitated that he shoved hamburger patties into her face, causing her to fall down and hit her left arm.
This article appears in May 2-8, 2012.
Lorain is the ugly chick Cleveland slept with and now wants to chew his arm off but can’t!!!
According to police, the man had nicknamed his junk “Hamburger Patties”