Want a piece of me, asshole?

  • Want a piece of me, asshole?

And this isn’t some trip into masturbation euphemism land. This isn’t wrestling the purple-headed yogurt slinger or choking the chicken. It’s literal: who actually chokes a goose?

The Sandusky Register has a strange tale this morning that definitely involves a man fighting one of the long-necked poop machines that hang out near water. The question, as always, is whether the goose deserved it.

Scene: Lee Corrick comes upon Isaac Sloan. Feathers are flying. Necks are being wrung.

Lee Corrick, 21, told police he was walking his dog at about 10 p.m. when near Shoreline Park.

That’s when he looked over and spotted a stranger, identified as Sloan, throwing rocks at geese. One of the fowl hissed at the stranger.

“Lee stated the male picked up that goose and began choking it,” a Sandusky police report said. “Lee shouted at the male and asked him to stop attacking the goose.”

The Sloan diverted his attention to Corrick and shouted “you want to fight,” Corrick told police.

Sloan then allegedly threw a punch at Corrick that missed, a report said. Sloan charged again and the pair began fighting.

Sloan, who cops say was drunk, tells a different tale. He claims the geese — a WHOLE flock of them — dive-bombed him and were aggressive. He was just defending himself. And it was Corrick, not him, who initiated the fisticuffs.

As believable as that version of events was to cops, it actually wasn’t so much, and they arrested Sloan. The Goose Choker.

This article appears in Jun 27 – Jul 3, 2012.

Vince Grzegorek has been with Scene since 2007 and editor-in-chief since 2012. He previously worked at Discount Drug Mart and Texas Roadhouse.

6 replies on “Man Chokes Goose, Starts Fight”

  2. You know, for the most part the geese just want to avoid you and be left alone. I’ve been on a bench before reading a book, distracted, and the next thing I know I have a goose or two eating grass about two feet from me. I go back to my book and the goose never bothers me.

    All that being said, the guy was drunk and geese are pretty tough. The goose probably shook off that whole choking thing like a boss.

  5. The man who choked the goose was later found dead, with strange peck marks all over his body and goose poop surrounding the scene. Local police decided not to investigate because everyone knew the deceased was an asshole and deserved it.

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