Ohio Man sure seems to keep himself busy. Every week we’ll parse through the headlines for Ohio Man’s best and worst as he continues his campaign to unseat Florida Man as the king of internet weirdness.
This week:
– Ohio Man sentenced to 2.5 years in jail after beating his disabled brother to try and “push the gay out.” In addition to the beating, Ohio Man also threatened to “slice his genitals off,” before making him run up and down a hill carrying a railroad tie. Deeming the pray-the-gay-away sect too touchy-feely, Ohio Man instead took his cues from Rocky training montage videos, apparently. (Columbus Dispatch)
– Ohio Man gets six months in jail for overdosing on heroin at a McDonald’s playground. In the interest of full disclosure, mainlining chicken McNuggets would have been more dangerous. (Associated Press)
– Ohio Man arrested after getting stuck in a Bob Evans ventilation duct and setting off alarms while trying to break into the restaurant. In his defense, we too would crawl through hell for some Bob Evans biscuit and gravy. (Associated Press)
– Ohio Man named Kaboom announces run for Akron mayor on platform of legalizing weed. (Ohio.com)
This article appears in Apr 16-22, 2014.
Ohio Man needs to traded to Montana for a yahoo to be named later.
Yes, keep pitying someone who’s obviously very mentally ill who also poses a physical threat to those around him just so you have more comic fodder as a result. This is how you know you’ve become part of the problem…
I am entirely too excited about this new mini-blog series.
HAHA, that’s fantastic that the guy is named Kaboom.