Letters We’d Like to Get

Dear Scene:

I’m writing to say good luck to the Cavs this year. You guys have a strong crop of young bucks. Coach Scott is gonna drill them into contenders! See you on the court.

LeBron James

Miami

***

Dear Scene:

[CENSORED] that ego-bloated [CEN-SORED]! I hope he [CENSORED] and [CENSORED] [CENSORED] while everyone [CENSORED] and watches. Plus, he can take his [CENSORED] and [CENSORED] it with a bottle of Tabasco.

Dan Gilbert

The Q

***

Dear Scene:

Just to be clear: Voting is a right. So is making a profit by taking millions from an anonymous, out-of-state “family foundation” to put up billboards that scare minorities. To be honest, we didn’t think they’d be scared, because we didn’t think any of them could read. Why do you think the Colonel shortened his name to KFC?

Clear Channel Outdoor

Everywhere

This article appears in Oct 24-30, 2012.