A view of Cleveland’s skyline from the west, 2009. Credit: Wikimedia
Ohioans have the longest faces in the U.S., according to the Community Well-Being Index measuring a bunch of things they’re apparently not very good at measuring.

Of the 20 Saddest Cities in the U.S., seven are in Ohio and include Cleveland. Cleveland ranks the lowest on the list at 17, with the city’s population loss as the biggest contributing factor. 

Akron comes in 16th due to high unemployment, Cincinnati ranks 10th, Columbus clocks in at 8th, Dayton is in 4th, Toledo is in 2nd and number one is Youngstown. 

How the Bay Area wasn’t the saddest place in America, what with losing a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals and all, is beyond us.

5 replies on “Dumb Ranking Says Cleveland Among Saddest Cities in U.S.”

  1. Exactly. The website is completely irrelevant. It’s just a list of cities in the midwest for the most part. Who cares.

  2. These rankings are what’s sad, and what’s dumb, not Cleveland. Click bait. Bullshit. Meaningless rankings that various folks pull out of their asses for various reasons. Or for no reason at all, except that they can.

    Saddest cities. Happiest cities. Nicest states. Meanest states. Best quality of life. Worst places to retire.

    And it’s always quantitative as well as qualitative, which is even dumberer and sadderer…

    Twenty worst beaches for feces and needles. Thirty coolest restaurants that cost you your whole paycheck. Ten shittiest cars. Twelve counties where residents own the most pets. Who hates kitties the most. What place is the snarkiest. What dogs are the barkiest.

    When folks run this kind of crap, they are out of ideas and being really lame, and doing the same shit over and over again. OHIO magazine is among them. So is CLEVELAND Magazine. For chrissakes, SCENE, don’t join them! Especially when they include Cleveland or Ohio. PLEEEEEEZE?

    I know I have done this same rant in the past, only shorter. You can look them up and rank them to see which one is the bitchiest..

    Chuckles the Clown

  3. My apologies…I was wrong. Cleveland IS among the SADdest cities…it has an extremely high number of SAD people…SAD being the name for Seasonal Affective Disorder…which, in case you didn’t already know, is a type of wintertime depression and bleak mood that is caused by a lack of sunlight and excessive overcast.

    There’s a lot of SAD in the northern US, and also in Scandinavia. Thank you, Lake Erie, .

    Ask the man who knows…I’ve had it all my life. If Patrick Henry had been from Ohio instead of Virginia, he’d have proclaimed “Give me sunshine or give me death!” I do that, every year.

    But like a lot of bad things, you can eventually get used to it. Sort of. At least until February and March.

    Chuckles the Clown

  4. Why give these idiots any press? And I’m not clinking on their link and the rest of you shouldn’t either!

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