Monopoly Screwed Up Not Including These Properties in its Cleveland Version of the Game
By Scene Staff on Thu, Oct 19, 2023 at 10:15 am
Top Trump yesterday unveiled the locations and businesses that'll be featured in its new Cleveland-version of Monopoly. Some paid, others were voted on, and the roster is about what you would expect. Which is to say it could be better. Here are our suggestions both for properties and some attendant game-play rules that would have made for a more authentic, improved product.
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Google
Lake Rd. in Edgewater - $500,000
Neighbors have torn up the sidewalk to prevent anyone from journeying through their community. Lose two turns if you purchase.
Neighbors have torn up the sidewalk to prevent anyone from journeying through their community. Lose two turns if you purchase.
Scene Archives
Tim Misny Billboard
Collect $200 from the bank, because Misny makes them pay.
Collect $200 from the bank, because Misny makes them pay.
Scene archives
Dead Man's Curve - $0
Lose three turns while crews work to clear a jackknifed semi.
Lose three turns while crews work to clear a jackknifed semi.
Scene Archives
Tremont - $1.5 million
Snag a new townhome if you can afford it but lose two turns after being waylaid by hundreds of participants in the Cupid Undie Run and a six-hour meeting at the block club talking about parking minimums.
Snag a new townhome if you can afford it but lose two turns after being waylaid by hundreds of participants in the Cupid Undie Run and a six-hour meeting at the block club talking about parking minimums.
Scene archives
East 99th and St. Clair - $25,000
Score a record deal with the property and collect $5,000 every time you pass the space.
Score a record deal with the property and collect $5,000 every time you pass the space.
MLS
Bratenahl - $3.1 million, plus $200
All Black players must pay a $200 additional fee, as you've been pulled over for driving while being a minority.
All Black players must pay a $200 additional fee, as you've been pulled over for driving while being a minority.
Scene Archives
Pro Sports Owners Boulevard - $250 million
Land on 100 Alfred Lerner Way, 1 Center Court or 2401 Ontario and pay the public subsidy for stadium upgrades.
Land on 100 Alfred Lerner Way, 1 Center Court or 2401 Ontario and pay the public subsidy for stadium upgrades.
Scene Archives
Ohio City - $1 million each
At least they're tax abated.
At least they're tax abated.
CPP
Cleveland Public Power - $75 plus environmental adjustment fee
Current conditions include a 5 mph breeze and service is out. Skip a turn while crews work to reconnect the electric grid.
Current conditions include a 5 mph breeze and service is out. Skip a turn while crews work to reconnect the electric grid.
Cuyahoga County Justice Center and Jail. Photo by Tim Evanson/FlickrCC
Cuyahoga County Jail
You go directly to jail as ordered, but understaffing means the jail is red-zoned, with inmates left in their pods for 16 hours at a time. Lose two turns while you wait for someone, anyone to come to your cell.
You go directly to jail as ordered, but understaffing means the jail is red-zoned, with inmates left in their pods for 16 hours at a time. Lose two turns while you wait for someone, anyone to come to your cell.
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