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The 19 Worst Decisions You Can Make in Cleveland

By Scene Staff

While living in Cleveland is a brilliant decision, no one is immune to these terrible life choices. Thankfully, we're here to help you avoid these tragic mistakes before anything gets too out of hand.

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Caring About the Browns More Than the Indians or Cavaliers

The Cavaliers have gone to four straight Finals, winning it all in 2016. The Indians have gone to the postseason in back-to-back years for the first time since 1998 and 1999 and are built around superstars in their prime like Francisco Lindor, Corey Kluber, Carlos Carrasco and Jose Ramirez. And yet, the putrid Browns, with just one win in the last two years and just two winning seasons since 1999, still get top billing in town in most people’s minds. They’ve done absolutely nothing to deserve that.

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Speeding Through the Linndale Speed Trap

The infamous speed trap on I-71 in Linndale, a small village in Cuyahoga County, is so well known that it got it’s own episode on the renowned podcast This American Life in 2017. If you’ve driven through there, you’ve probably gotten a ticket, so be careful.

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Plan to Travel During Winter (Or Spring) Without Giving Yourself Extra Time

Need to be in New York City in the morning in the winter? Fly the day before. Need to get to Columbus by noon? Leave at 7 a.m. As good weather is never a sure thing, never assume things are going to be on time.

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Driving Too Fast on Dead Man’s Curve

The 90-degree turn on I-90 near Downtown is the most dangerous driving area in town. Speed bumps and other warnings are there to slow drivers down, but some still ignore the warnings. According to ODOT, the crash rate is two to three times other areas of the freeway, despite the warnings to slow down.

Photo via Formula None/Flickr

Make a Bet That Results in the Loser Swimming in Lake Erie During the Winter

If you’re dumb enough to make a bet that ends with the loser swimming in Lake Erie in the middle of winter, you probably deserve it. Paul Hoynes of the Plain Dealer famously said that he’d jump in Lake Erie if the Indians made it past the first round of the 2016 Postseason and jumped in when the Tribe made the World Series.

Photo via Wikimedia

Sleep On Getting Tickets to Important Cultural Events

Did you miss out on seeing the Infinity Mirrors exhibition at the Cleveland Museum of Art or "Hamilton" at Playhouse Square or any major show at Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse? Well, there's still time for you to get tickets to everything coming up this year. We believe in you.

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Admit To Someone That You’ve Never Been To The West Side Market

Admitting that you’ve never been to our pride and joy, the West Side Market, can cause you to lose your Cleveland card and possibly result in eviction from the city.

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Forget to Wear Deodorant to A Summer Afternoon Tribe Game

As much as we dread our winters, summer can be just as uncomfortable. And you don’t want to be that person who skips out on deodorant on a 90-degree Indians game only to stink up your whole section.

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Forget About the Air Show

If you’ve ever been downtown during the summer and hear an ear-piercing boom, don’t worry, we’re not under attack. That’s just the air show. But if you forget about it, it can really scare the crap out of you.

Photo via Erik Drost/Flickr

Drive in a Winter Storm Without Snow Tires or Four-Wheel Drive

If you live in Cleveland, especially on the east side of town where it tends to snow a lot more, snow tires or four-wheel drive are a must to get around in a winter storm. Otherwise, you better have AAA, or a super helpful father, to come and rescue you from whatever ditch you've landed.

Photo via Scene Archives