Tonight in Sports: College Football Fans Are Weirdos
“Polly wants to kill himself.” Since a Buckeye is really not as cute as a cock-a-poo, the Big Ten website has just started posting pictures of Big Ten graduates’ pets strutting around in apparel from their owners’ alma maters. What we’ve learned from the site: Apparently, graduates of Northwestern (my alma mater) don’t like animals…
Fistua Live: “We are gonna beat the makeup off all these sissies.”
The five-man Fistula lineup makes its live debut at the Beachland Tavern (15711 Waterloo Ave., 216-383-1124) Wednesday, October 31, opening for opening for stoner crush-crew Weedeater. When the sludgy Fistula was just a trio, they sounded like a hopped-up COC mugging Black Sabbath. With two more members in the fearsome fold, the imminent new LP,…
Crack Dealing Piece of Trash Chooses Jail Over Cemetery
Score one for Cleveland City Councilman Mike Polensek! Arsenio Winston, caught dealing drugs outside a convenience store in the councilman’s Collinwood ward, was sentenced today to two years in prison by a Cuyahoga County judge. You may remember Winston from a letter he received in the mail from Polensek after being arrested for drug-trafficking this…
Unfulfilled By the Browns’ Winning? The Gladiators Will Fill Your Torment Quota
Here come the Gladiators: The catharsis starts in 2008. Now that the Browns have revealed themselves to be utterly invincible, Cleveland football fans may be experiencing an unfamiliar, empty feeling. Sunday used to be the opportunity for Browns’ fans to vent all of the week’s built-up anger and despair. You turn on the TV, scream…
This Just In: There’s concert announcements, and then there’s concert announcements.
This week, 21 new shows, from Clay Aiken’s Christmas to the Luchagors, a pop-punk band featuring the former WWE diva once known as Lita. — DX Ferris NEW DATE Nathaniel Mayer: Tavern, Fri., Jan. 18, 9 p.m., $10. Beachland. THIS JUST IN A Place to Bury Strangers: Sat., Nov. 10, 9 p.m., $8. Beachland. Clay…
Piano Girl: Before she plays Cleveland, Tori Amos talks with C-Notes
Tori Amos and Yoav play the State Theatre (1519 Euclid Avenue., Playhouse Square) 7:30 p.m. Thursday, November. Tickets are $42.50 ADV/$49.50 DOS, 216-241-6000. Amos is supporting American Doll Posse, her best CD in years. It’s the piano-playing singer-songwriter’s 10th studio album – -if you count the record she made with Y Kant Tori Read, a…
Even Plastic Wrap Can’t Tangle Symon’s Quest to be the Next Iron Chef
It was SRO last night at Lolita, as scores of fans and foodies gathered to watch Michael Symon beat the lederhosen off the competition, in episode number four (of six) of the Next Iron Chef. Filmed inside hanger #4 at the Munich Airport, the episode was nail-biter, as Symon and his three remaining challengers did…
Five Days, Five Concerts: Mike G Maps Out The Week in Music
Meg & Dia play the Grog Shop tonight (Monday). This week’s top music picks around town, from the guy who’s paid to listen: Monday: File Utah sister band Meg & Dia under the same section as Tegan & Sara, and Eisley. Their bouncy indie-pop pretty much amounts to emo for girls. They’re still touring last…
Not-So-Metal Monday: Metallica’s Acoustic Funk
Metallica.com has posted a six-minute highlight clip from Metallica’s weekend performance to benefit Neil Young’s Bridge School, which helps physically challenged students learn and communicate through the use of technology. You can find rougher fan-filmed clips of entire songs here. The surprising acoustic set featured the onetime thrash greats performing unplugged versions of Rare Earth’s…
Braylon Edwards Is Good (and Other Astute Observations About the Browns)
Braylon Edwards is good at football. For the Browns, yesterday’s come-from-behind win over St. Louis was historic. It was the first time they’d won back-to-back games since 2003, back when they still thought Tim Couch could be the second coming of Terry Bradshaw, and when we were just starting to get pissed that we passed…
Today’s Prophetic Thoughts on Race: No One Likes Anyone, So Move On
This observation on basic human nature comes from Kenny, in response to last week’s cover story “Racism Reversed”: Face it people: blacks dont like whites, whites dont like blacks, jews dont like arabs, arabs dont like jewsm shiites dont like kurds, kurds dont like shiites….the list goes on. Its a fact of life. It is…
The Cost of Sucking: Is Alex Arshinkoff’s Time Really Up?
In August state Senator Kevin Coughlin (R-Cuyahoga Falls) launched a campaign to overthrow longtime Summit County GOP boss Alex Arshinkoff. Coughlin didn’t mention how Arshinkoff spouts anti-gay venom on his way to the nearest leather bar (which we’ve been more than happy to do). But he did accuse him of mishandling party funds and making…
Is That Really a Crime? Doctor Convicted of Ripping Off Insurers
For years, doctors have lamented the strong arm of insurance companies, which often refuse to cover expensive procedures, forcing patients into lesser options and physicians into used BMWs. Dr. Mohammed Aiti found a way to beat the system. Aiti’s practice boasted offices in Canton, Massillon, Dover, and Cleveland. For decades, things seemed to go swimmingly…
Fire Fight: A Thoughtful Debate over an Abusive Cuyahoga Falls Cop
When Denise Grollmus wrote “Repeat Offender” back in August, we considered it little more than another Weird Tale from the Fringes of Northeast Ohio Law Enforcement. The story chronicles Cuyahoga Falls cop Ralph Flynn, who appears to have an impressive history of beating women and young girls. But our readers apparently found this a fascinating…
And the Survey Says: Uh-Oh …
The holdout of Anderson Varejao, the best floppy Brazilian flopper in the biz, has experts worried about the Cavs. Basketball season ended last week, so basketball season starts next week, so ESPN.com posted its exhaustive season preview today. The outlook, at least according to ESPN’s scribes, is not good — not for a team that…
Garbage from a better dimension? Or just a budding entrepreneur who blew his wad too soon?
This intrepid reporter was walking in the Warehouse District a few days after the Indians’ collapse, scanning the ground for half-smoked cigarettes, when I noticed this piece of paper on the street: At first, my heart soared. Had I suddenly entered a dimension in which C.C. Sabathia and Fausto Carmona hadn’t, in fact, flopped when…
About That Moron You Heard On the Radio This Week
The author prepares for his appearance on “The Sound of Ideas.” Until this week, I always figured WCPN’s “Sound of Ideas,” weekday mornings at 9 a.m. on 90.3-FM, was just an hour of host Dan Moulthrip stuffing his pipe with various herbs and then saying whatever came to his mind, presumably his thoughts on the…
Mike G’s Picks: If you like music, you like this weekend
The Thermals play the Beachland tonight. This weekend’s top music picks around town, from the guy who’s paid to listen: Friday: The Thermals come from Portland, Oregon – home to many, many rain-soaked indie-rock bands. No surprise then that the three members of this guitar-lovin’ group have played around the scene for years. But they’ve…
Letter from Vegas: Drew Carey really likes the Tribe (and the under)
Even in Vegas, Drew Carey doesn’t stray from his favorite fashion statement. Under the effects of three nights in Vegas, I totally forgot about this story until today, and now it’s more or less old and depressing news, since it has to do with that one sports team, which did that one thing, which resulted…
Frank Jackson Has a Another Brother, and He’s Not Afraid to Use Him
As we reported in this week’s First Punch, the Cleveland schools are in the market for a new security chief. The post has been vacant since June, and might be a bit hard to fill, given the recent shootings at SuccessTech Academy. It also doesn’t help that Mayor Frank Jackson’s brother, Nick, has been running…
Tic-Tac Toe-Tag: Skills games slot machines ousted
Ohio’s slot machine parlors (D’Oh! That’s “skill-games” parlors) were finally read their last rites today, when Governor Ted Strickland signed into law a bill that banned the controversial arcade games, which crept into Ohio a few years ago thanks to a gaping loophole in the gambling statute. As a disclaimer, C-Notes has no problem with…
In Kent, The Only Thing Worse Than a Killer is a Buzz-Killing Judge
In this week’s First Punch, we reported that Kent’s most popular night of debauchery might be marred thanks to a silly decade old urban legend. Thankfully, as we report, it turns out that there will be no Halloween massacre as co-eds in lingerie, which they will refer to as “costumes,” down ruffied Jell-O shots. But…
Balls Out
In the semi-improvised comedy We Gotta Bingo, two Catholic churches — one Irish, the other Italian — merge and hit on an idea to bring money to their fledgling institution: They’ll hold bingo nights and pocket the profits. Audience members actually play the game to win prizes at the interactive stage show, which opens this…
Halloween Costume Party and Tribute Show
For the Beachland’s special Halloween costume party, your favorite local bands will be performing in costume as your all-time favorite bands. See JJ Magazine morph into Ween! Gasp as This Is Exploding becomes Weezer. Scream as the Muttering Retreats transmogrify into the Magnetic Fields! Behold NJs and the Jeff as Cream! Shriek in terror as…
Ween
Angry whiners are rewarded in pop music, while those with wit are forever consigned to the novelty bin. Of course there’s no denying the musical idiosyncrasies of childhood chums-cum-faux-brothers Gene and Dean Ween. Technically skilled musicians, they hop from genre to genre and crack jokes like Bing Crosby and Bob Hope in a road movie.…
Presidential Poltergeists
British hard-ass Winston Churchill didn’t fear air raids, international negotiations, or even English cooking. But the White House scared the crap out of him. “He basically freaked out and refused to sleep there ever again,” says Mary Luoma, an organizer of tonight’s Ghosts of the White House lecture and tour at the James A. Garfield…
Racism Reversed
Eton on Chagrin Boulevard is bustling. Outside Trader Joe’s, mothers carry heavy brown bags filled with organic apples and expensive cheeses as they fish for their Volvo keys. Inside Anthropologie, pre-teens with Coach purses and Invisalign braces ogle pairs of $175 jeans. At Paladar, businessmen check iPhones and munch yucca chips with thick guacamole. To…
Kaskade
It’s a Tuesday evening. House producer and DJ Ryan Raddon (aka Kaskade) works on his latest high-profile studio project. But when he tries to describe it, he bursts into laughter. “I’m working on a Britney Spears remix,” he finally admits with a sigh. “I was thinking to myself, ‘Am I embarrassed to say that?'” It’s…
Soul Survivor
On his new CD, Why Don’t You Give It to Me?, veteran soul man Nathaniel Mayer is backed by retro-lovin’ rockers from the Black Keys, Dirtbombs, and Outrageous Cherry. The Detroit native cut his first single more than 45 years ago. He never really hit the big time, but he gained a cult following over…
The 40-year-old Widower
Dan in Real Life has this much going for it: It’s not the worst Steve Carell movie of 2007. That honor goes to Evan Almighty, which, according to witnesses, had God himself bailing by Act 2. Then again, Dan in Real Life isn’t really much of a movie at all. It’s more like a montage…
Suffocation
Between 1990 and ’98, Suffocation was a primary force in what is now called “brutal death metal,” a movement spawned because “regular” death metal wasn’t brutal enough. That’s a concept non-fans will have a hard time grasping, but here’s why Suffocation is important: Beginning with its 1991 album Effigy of the Forgotten, released on Roadrunner,…
Memorial Day
The Akron Art Museum pays tribute to late photographer Masumi Hayashi in Meditations: Two Pilgrimages, which opens today. The exhibit includes nine collages that document Hayashi’s visits to North American detainment camps, which were set up for Japanese immigrants during World War II. There are also pics of Buddhist temples in Asia. “The content is…
Return to Sender
How painful to watch Ryan Gosling, one of the most elastic actors of his generation, smirk and gawp and grimace his way through Lars and the Real Girl, Craig Gillespie’s smarmy little number about a pudgy midwestern office drudge who’s so terrified of human contact that the only “person” he can bond with is a…
Chuck Prophet
At the tender age of 17, Chuck Prophet (yes, that’s his real last name) began his career as a guitar-slinger for ’80s roots-rockers Green on Red. The kid was a total miscreant; he had seen the inside of enough loony bins and rehab centers to make Bukowski proud. But he could play guitar — really…
Show Me the Bunny
Show Me the Bunny In Nick Jr.’s hit TV show Max & Ruby, two animated rabbits teach tots how to get along with others. In today’s live stage version at Playhouse Square, six-year-old Ruby wants to put on a play about a princess and enlists her four-year-old brother Max to help. But he wants to…
Unlicensed Hatred
Before the Tribe’s vintage-Cleveland collapse, Major League Baseball was urging Indians fans to be on the lookout for knock-off team merchandise, because Major League Baseball firmly believes that only Major League Baseball is allowed to price-gouge. So to protect its monopoly of the Overpriced Dyed Cotton market, the league issued tips on how to avoid…
Prong
Prong has been a purveyor of aggressively brutal industrial since its formation in New York in 1986. Currently made up of guitarist and former CBGB soundman Tommy Victor, drummer Aaron Rossi, and bassist Monte Pittman (who doubles as Madonna’s touring guitarist), the trio has refused to kowtow to the mainstream. Prong, however, did churn out…
Raunch Dressing
Comedian Lisa Lampanelli doesn’t want any soccer moms attending her show at the Lorain Palace Theatre tonight. She doesn’t think the “middle-class cunts in SUVs” will appreciate her brand of humor. “You have to be able to laugh at yourself and not be a tight-ass,” she says. “I stick mostly with jokes about marked, dirty…
King Kong
TOP PICK — DK Jungle Climber (Nintendo) Gamedom’s star monkey is still going strong after more than a quarter-century. Donkey Kong’s latest adventure (for the DS) plays pretty much like his last few, but with tougher challenges. Prepare for lots of button-mashing: Players swing the great ape from one level to the next, through a…
Capsule reviews of current area art exhibitions.
NEW Victoria Anders — Sometimes the right frame really does make all the difference. On their own, these black-and-white, untitled photos of Cleveland might not garner much attention. But as Anders presents them, printed on metal and dangling inside customized aluminum borders, they’re sure to turn heads. Subject-wise, Anders is absorbed with Cleveland’s aging infrastructure:…
Melancholy Melodies
Because they come from Canada, the Weakerthans’ take on punk rock doesn’t sound like the punk rock we make here in the States. Their fourth album, Reunion Tour, actually steers close to roots-rock-inspired indie pop: pedal steel, banjo, and glockenspiel are all over it. Three-fourths of the quartet played on Bad Religion singer Greg Graffin’s…
Federal Flimflam
“The New McCarthyism,” October 17 Can you pull off a conspiracy, if you can’t even spell it? Of course they are incompetent. That’s why they work for the government. You know when you renew your license, the people on the other side of the counter? It’s the same people. This is why I refuse to…
Capsule reviews of current area theater presentations.
AtTENtion Span — While they vary in accessibility and wit, these eight comedic sketches are performed with infectious energy — even when the writing doesn’t deserve it. In “My Date With a Zombie,” Saidah Mitchell is a sexy undead chick who puts the rigor in rigor mortis. The jokes are predictable, but the actors sweep…
All the News That Fits
Comedian Paula Poundstone has been juggling her professional and personal careers more than usual lately. She has three kids in school, a semi-regular gig with NPR’s news-heavy quiz show Wait, Wait . . . Don’t Tell Me!, and not nearly enough time to bone up on current events. “When I was growing up, any time…
Mischievous Angel
Imagine, if you will, that Ryan Adams left this mortal coil seven years ago, shortly after the release of his critically exalted solo debut, Heartbreaker. He would have been in his late 20s, the hazardous age for troubled, talented rock stars. And it’s a safe bet he would now be canonized as a brilliant shooting…
Herbie Hancock
Herbie Hancock has never shied away from pop rock. River is Hancock’s homage to Joni Mitchell, the legendary singer-songwriter who shares his love for smashing genres. But fear not: River isn’t some “play the melody, then a solo” tribute; it’s an emotional reinvention of Mitchell’s music. Half the tracks boast vocals. The moody opener “Court…
Wall to Wall
Stand-up comedian Kathleen Madigan keeps hearing the same illegal-immigrant jokes everywhere she goes. And frankly, she’s tired of one in particular: If you put up a border wall, but kick out all the Mexicans, who’s gonna build the wall? “I think you should call the Chinese,” she says. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but…
The Many Faces of Matthew Dear
Matthew Dear cruises the highway in a rental van, somewhere on the I-10 in Louisiana. He’s headed to a gig in Austin. It’s a homecoming of sorts for a newbie Brooklynite. Dear is the producer and DJ who set the dance-music world on fire with his 2003 release Leave Luck to Heaven, an eloquent expression…
Clockcleaner
Few modern rock and roll bands crank out sickeningly evil jams that totally groove like the mutant punk trio Clockcleaner. Former Clevelander John Sharkey and company are nerds putting hexes on jocks while reverberating and riff-spelunking in the vein of the Jesus Lizard. In the stomper “Human Pigeon,” Sharkey spits out the sermon, “Do you…
Friday Night Light
Tonight’s Full Moon Night Hike in Akron arrives just in time for Halloween. But don’t go looking for werewolves or ax-wielding crazies during the after-hours stroll through the Metro Parks’ tree-lined woods. Spokesman Nathan Eppink says there will be plenty of “breathtaking fall foliage” on view, though. Naturalist Meghan Doran will lead the 44th-annual outing,…
Rock-Star Ghost Diaries
Most ghost stories are pretty damn lame, and most happen to everybody except musicians. If you attempt to seek out ghost stories from pop stars, you quickly discover that phantoms, freaky psychic phenomena, and even UFOs aren’t nearly as numerous as popular culture has us believe. In fact, one might estimate that maybe one in…
Turner Cody
Turner Cody is commonly associated with “antifolk.” This is a nebulous gaggle of singer-songwriters from New York who enjoy subverting the American folk tradition with big-city irony and indie amateurism. But there’s nothing “anti” about Cody’s folk. While he does appear on Rough Trade’s 2002 compilation Antifolk, Vol. 1, he isn’t an urban novelty self-consciously…
The Boys Are Back
Directors Series: Stanley Kubrick (Warner Bros.) Most of the old Kubrick DVDs were crap: full-screen editions with poor pictures and virtually no special features. This set makes up for them with 2001, A Clockwork Orange, The Shining, Full Metal Jacket, and Eyes Wide Shut (hey, who farted?), all looking great and with enough extras to…
Day-Tipper
Dario Castagno doesn’t put much stock in the flurry of travel books written about his home region of Tuscany. After all, he reasons, most are penned by foreigners who are unfamiliar with the places that are tucked away in the Italian countryside. Castagno’s A Day in Tuscany: More Confessions of a Chianti Tour Guide uncovers…
Turn On the Basement Lights
Music fans have been stuffed with enough Bob Dylan product to keep ’em fat through the next century. The music industry will pump out anything it can on the guy, no matter how repetitive or gratuitous. Dylan’s longtime label, Columbia, just dropped yet another anthology of previously released material: the triple-disc set Dylan. And on…
Michael Farley
Singer-songwriter-turned-media-pimp Michael Farley returns to his old line of work in Moments and Memories, a warm acoustic set that musters up some serious feeling. Farley’s fifth album (his first since 2002) follows the veteran on a journey from and to his home, and then away again — through rings of fire, Saturday nights, and Sunday…
Bang Bang for Your Buck
Whether it’s $600 PlayStation 3s or the five bucks Nintendo shamelessly charges for 20-year-old NES games on the Wii’s Virtual Console, gamers have gotten used to assuming the position when it comes to the costs of their hobby. So if you’ve just heard about The Orange Box — five of the best games around, all…
Short Cuts
Cleveland Public Theatre’s At-TEN-tion Span: A Festival of 10-Minute Plays is tailor-made for modern audiences. Taking their cue from flashy TV shows, the eight blink-and-you’ll-miss-’em works feature bright lights, zippy action, and continuous set shifts. Organizer Greg Vovos says if viewers aren’t snagged within the first 20 seconds of a play, they probably won’t watch…
Hunting the White Buffalo
Farmdale is as placid as its name suggests, consisting of little more than a barber shop with a pop machine on the porch and a feed store that sells bags of peanuts for 75 cents. The police department is a shack with bowling trophies in the window. If you want to speak to the cop…
Drastic
Cleveland’s Drastic has won several local awards for his impressive flow, but his lyrics lack creativity. Stop Playin Wit Em! is plagued with signs of modern rap’s obsession with materialism. There are a few notable exceptions here: “Still Hungry” and “Dreams to Reality” offer a more diverse perspective, proving Drastic does have potential. However, songs…
Our top DVD picks scheduled for release this week:
The Adventures of Aquaman (Warner Bros.) The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones: Volume One (Paramount) Battleship Potemkin (Kino) Breathless: The Criterion Collection (Criterion) Commune (First Run) The Company (Sony) Fantastic Planet (Accent Cinema) Home of the Brave (MGM) Hostel: Director’s Cut (Sony) Hostel: Part II (Sony)Into Great Silence (Zeitgeist) The Little Rascals Collection (Passport) The…
The Sadies
The cover to New Seasons — a rural landscape dipped in shades of electric raspberry — looks a lot like the jacket for Charley D. and Milo’s 1970 debut LP, a lost treasure in lysergic country pop. That’s not surprising. The Sadies, as their sixth studio album clearly demonstrates, retain an encyclopedic knowledge of cosmic…
The Attitude Adjuster
Jim Smith simultaneously munches on peanut butter and jelly while checking his cell phone. With his rimless eyeglasses and black leather briefcase, Smith looks like every other busy executive here at Panera, hastily cramming lunch and work into a 15-minute block. Yet unlike the others, Smith is surrounded by a half-dozen pamphlets advertising the “13…
Cheaper by the Dozen
12 Girls Band member Zhou Jian Nan learned most of the English she knows from American movies and CNN. Her skills come in handy during the group’s U.S. tour, which plays Playhouse Square tonight. “I learn from funny stories and love stories,” says Zhou, a Beijing native. “My favorite may be horror movies.” When she’s…
The Massacre Continues
Cleveland duo Uncle Scratch’s Gospel Revival will reprise their scene-stealing role in The Horror Convention Massacre 2, Old School Sinema’s locally made sequel to last year’s surprise low-budget sensation. The movie premieres 9 p.m. Friday, October 26, at the Beachland Tavern (15711 Waterloo Road). Uncle Scratch, a roots-based act that pens songs like “Kickin’ the…
No &%#@ Sherlock
Imagine meeting someone on a date and having him accurately determine telling details of your character and your recent activities, just by glancing at you. It would be quite impressive and more than a little creepy — which may explain why Sherlock Holmes never scored with chicks like those other fictional detectives always did. No,…
Word!
More than a dozen singers, rappers, and dancers perform original works inspired by 40 years of activism in Troublemaker? The show — part of the Speak Out series — borrows inspiration from ’70s advocate Angela Davis’ protests against fascism, war, and racism. “Audiences will experience a reflection of America,” says poet Monica Idom, who’ll perform…
Unusual Suspect
It’s 11:30 p.m. on a Thursday, and on the patio in front of Crop Bistro, the house band is jamming, the booze is flowing, and the fall breeze feels as velvety as the Ramos Pinto port that shimmers in my glass. Sure, those of us who gathered here for after-dinner drinks are digging the slyly…
Center-Stage Smartass
Remember those old educational films shown back in our school days? There was always one wiseass in the back, whispering nasty jokes about the action onscreen, rendering the alleged learning experience a hilarious comedy bit. That guy probably dreamed of turning his ad-lib mockery into gainful employment someday, and it appears his dream has come…
Old Sounds Made New
San Francisco’s Film School looks and sounds a little different than it did a year ago. While the band remains frontman Greg Bertens’ project, a few fresh faces give the group a sonic makeover on its new CD, Hideout — which still piles on lots of distorted guitar noise and one-note riffs. But there’s also…
Hollywood Rehab Halloween Party
The Mercury Lounge’s Halloween party is your chance to live out the best and worst of the year’s celebrity news. Dress as your favorite Tinseltown screwups to win cash and prizes at the Hollywood Rehab Theme Party. Competition will be tough, so here’s our tip: It’s way too obvious and easy to dress up like…
The Octopus Project
This Austin, Texas group is far from catholic in its approach to indie rock. Though pegged as “experimentalists,” the Octopus Project is more than capable of delivering the pop goods. And despite the members’ love for vintage electronic equipment like theremins, their passion for tweaking the capabilities of modern recording gear should not be overlooked.…
