ICP fanaticism remains one of the great perplexing phenomena of our time. How did two white dudes from Detroit with no beats, skills, or intelligence build a veritable Kiss Army of Juggalos who devour every insipid word and tuneless note? At this point in the game, you're either a fanatic with every album, T-shirt, and action figure, or you're an irritable music critic too jaded to even bother anymore. What do people see in these guys? Is it the camaraderie? The escapism? The makeup? It sure as hell ain't the music, as its latest project -- two simultaneously released full-length albums titled
Bizaar and
Bizzar -- keeps the weak-beats/cock-rock/laughable-flow aesthetic solidly in place. Brace yourself for the STD jokes, the "I screwed Eminem's mama" jokes, and the "I like pretty rainbows and sunsets and FUCK YOU BITCH!!" jokes. Sift through all that, and you get to the melodrama: It turns out it's all a revenge fantasy cooked up by two Dungeons & Dragons-playin' high school geeks who couldn't score a date to the prom. Now they've got a record deal, supermodels on their arms, etc. Well, splendid. Go, if you must, to be doused in Faygo and immersed in the Dark Carnival. Who knows how long it will last? One new track (can't remember if it's "We Gives No Fuck," "Cherry Pie [I Need a Freak]," or "Mr. Happy") points to the toll it's taking. When it's all over, "Behind the paint will be the shell of a used-up man," they sing. Until then, though, keep those crabs jokes comin'.
