Confessions of an ex-juggalo: My friend Chad introduced me to the ICP while we cruised suburban Detroit’s Gratiot Avenue in the summer of ’94.

It’s important to understand the urban-obsessed world of lower-middle-class kids, who all reacted the way I did to the shimmering blue cassette that Chad slipped into his car’s tape player. ICP’s debut, Carnival of Carnage, was rap. This supposedly made it cool. But it was also by two white dudes who talked about such absurd, horror-obsessed stuff that nobody felt like a poseur for listening to it (which is, I imagine, how every suburban white kid felt listening to NWA). The fact that there were maybe two black ICP fans in all of metro Detroit should have told us just how uncool the band was, but we were too distracted by the herd mentality ICP promotes to notice.

That’s the wonder of being a juggalo, I suppose. You belong to a mythology that has been developed for almost two decades within the imaginations of two ugly, overtly misogynistic, wrasslin’-lovin’ Detroiter wannabes. Fans cover themselves in tattoos, name their kids after these guys, and even commit violent crimes in their name. Although I have not spoken to Chad in almost a decade, I would not be surprised to hear he has a ringmaster tattoo on his triceps, a kid named Milenko, and is currently serving time for hacking up his wife with a hatchet (one of ICP’s favorite weapons).

Some call the juggalo lifestyle a subculture, but it shares more similarities with cults. Violent J and 2 Dope get rich off the emotionally misdirected. For a while there, I let them take advantage of me too. Then I grew up, and that’s something ICP and many of their fans have never done.

This article appears in Oct 17-24, 2007.

5 replies on “Insane Clown Posse”

  1. fuck you! your a worthless piece of shit that don’t know anything about bout juggalos apparently. you think you know us sayin were wannabes Fuck you Nigga!! Bitch you don’t even know the first thing about us! u think you know us? Well your a fucking tard!!Fuck Off Bitch!!!

  2. Ha ha ha haa. Way to underline his point there, Gierhart. Such pointed, cutting wit and effective debunking of the author’s accusations will stand for all time as a monument to all Juggalos nationwide symbolizing their unending struggle against the evil forces of maturity and coherence.

    Wikkid clownz 4-eva, et cetera.

  3. Man fuck who ever wrote this bullshit, you think you know Juggalos? cuz you dont stupid fucker! You fuckin hater,When i die im goin to Shangri-La, and being a Juggalo isnt a fuckin cult either we are NOT devil worshipers just cuz we gather once a year its like woodstock only more wicked and for Juggalos not a fuckin cult…MCL

  4. herez a comment fo ur mothfuckin ass bitchboy im gonna break it down fo ya ass u probably sum hatin ass bitchboy dat sits at home every night doin jak shit with one of ur faggot friends sayin how u matured while im out chillin with sum juggalos gettin high as a mothfucka at sum dope azz party. then when u and ur friend get bored u probably do sum crystal meth and let him fuck u in ur faggot face so blow it out ya azz bitch this sum real juggalos up in dis bitch and dis goes out to all da mothfuckas who dissin icp im gonna see ur ass in the Shangri-La and hang yall bitch ass mothafuckas from a fuckin tree and butcher ur faggot faces with a mothafuckin hatchet bitch. juggalo fo life

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