Bandwagon time for Cleveland State. I'm allowed on because I said so. I'm also declaring myself arbiter for the mad masses who want to jump on too. Basically, everyone's welcome – the more the merrier. But there are some special cases that deserve specific consideration.
¥ You smoked crack with Kevin Mackey? YES
¥ You hooked up with a CSU coed at Becky's? YES
¥ You hooked up with a 40-year-old "coed" at Becky's? NO
¥ You once stayed at the Holiday Inn that now serves as a dorm? YES
¥ You once dated a guy who had a CSU T-shirt that you would wear and you gave it back after breaking up? NO
¥ You kept it? YES
¥ You married that guy but made him throw out the shirt because it had too many holes? HELL NO
¥ You know the highest attendance for a game came when the Fab Five visited Cleveland in 1991? YES
¥ You like Rascal House pizza? NO
¥ You were arrested for urinating outside Rascal House after a concert at Peabody's? YES
¥ If you just read Hagar the Horrible? NO
¥ If you know Helga joined him as a mascot for a short time? YES
¥ If you have actually taken part in the pillage and plunder of a Northern European town? YES
¥ You robbed C.C. Sabathia? YES
¥ You knew Tim Russert was an alum before he died? YES
¥ÊYou have any vague idea where CSU is located? YES (Acceptable answers: "By that one homeless shelter," "On St. Clair somewhere," "Ohio."
This article appears in Mar 18-24, 2009.
