Among other, less substantive, revelations at this weekend's Tribe Fest, it was announced that former pitcher Charles Nagy has been hired by the Cleveland Indians in an undefined role.
Charles Nagy, my dear friends! Charles "Fan Favorite" Nagy! Charles Nagy, whose XL-jersey I wore in Bosnia on Halloween in 2013 to assert my citizenship among not only the American baseball-loving public, but among Clevelanders specifically, who take great pride in a former starting pitcher whose surname — the most popular in all of Hungary — literally means "great."
Charles Nagy, who was relieved of pitching-coach duties with the Arizona Diamondbacks this year, some speculated, because pitchers weren't hitting enough opposing batters. Charles Nagy the Ethical! Charles Nagy!
Charles Nagy, who won 129 games as a starting pitcher for the Tribe in the 90s and very early aughts, who posted a 2.96 ERA in '92 while managing to hurl 10 complete games and still not break so much as a sweat, who went 16-6 and then 17-5 in the winning campaigns of '95 and '96, who was always so teenagerly clean-shaven, who at times bore a striking resemblance to a young and well-maintained Sean Penn, and who still looks to be wearing very high-quality lotions or ointments at all times.
Charles Nagy, who may or may not do little more than roam the Indians' farm teams and distribute fatherly high-fives this year, who may (if worse does come to worst) be called upon as a spot starter in a rotation currently so suspect and devoid of expected wins that the management may as well auction a roster spot off to a wealthy pioneering fan to generate some cash-flow, if nothing else.
Charles Nagy, for whom Cleveland is professional home and spiritual locus. Charles Nagy, who also — if the past is any indication — stands a sporting chance at becoming the head coach of your Cleveland Browns in 2015.