As hurricanes shred the coast, tornadoes upend the prairie, and wildfires scorch the west, we here in Mother Nature’s bosom are left to ponder more pressing matters such as the source of our next beverage.
Yes, when it comes to meteorological calamity, the Forest City is as reliable as they come. And weather geeks are taking notice.
Jeff Opperman, a senior adviser at the Nature Conservancy, has completed a study ranking the top 50 U.S. cities in terms of resilience to climate change. And you, dear reader, are a winner yet again. In fact, the study’s top five cities read like a grand tour of the glorious Rust Belt: Cleveland, Milwaukee, Detroit, Chicago, and Minneapolis. Opperman attributes this to the region’s proximity to the Great Lakes and the low likelihood of hurricanes or flooding, at least till Antarctica melts.
And lest you doubt Mother Nature’s gift for vengeance, the study also found that the city most likely to perish in a fiery ball of apocalyptic misery is … Miami. Ringless and doomed ain’t the way to go.
This article appears in Jun 29 – Jul 5, 2011.
The worst case senario predicted by the “experts” is a 20′ rise in the oceans if all the ice at both caps melt. Considering there are locks along the St Lawrence Seaway, Niagra Falls is about a few hundred feet high, and areas like Brecksville are about 750 feet above sea level, no problem for most of the USA. The only losers will be those with ocean beachfront property. Sounds like a good time to dump the ocean beachfront property and buy some inland lakefront property.
Simple advice…if you are moving to an area along the coast line, just be sure the house is at least 30′-40′ above sea level. Then, with luck and some additional global warming, one day you will be a beachfront property owner.
See and they said living in Cleveland will get me no where lol Haha Bitchesssssssssss!
” Mistake on the Lake”…….N O T!!!
I’ve been saying this for years…
No hurricanes, volcanoes, floods, mudslides, tsunamis, droughts, or post championship riots.
Old Hat! I posted this story on June 13, suggesting possible new state slogans – “Ohio: a mostly disaster-free zone” or maybe “Ohio: nothing much happens here and that’s a good thing. Jan C. Snow
@jan Haaaaaaaahaahaahahaahaaa!!!!!
Looks like we’ll get the last laugh over the Steelers, Ravens, and Bengals after all! HA HA!
Isnt.ohio on a major fault line that when the pressure eventually releases it will cause one of the worst earthquakes anyone has ever seen? Thats just what i heard
Why does everyone forget we have hundreds of miles of salt mines under Lake Erie and our region is subjected to earthquakes, though relatively minor so far.
I hope I am not around when the mines collapse and our fresh water lake turns back into salt water.
love it
Oh yes, I think the Mayans foresaw the horrific salt mine collapse of 2012 when they made their calendar, LOL
Miami is going to be drowned ? Cool. Ex wife please be in the basement when Judgement Day occurs and have yourself locked in.
In Cleveland, Armageddon is business as usual.
Regarding rebuilding Cleveland’s reputation, the Complete 5 Step Process can be found in the blog by Dracha Arendee.
Search: “Iceality of Recycling Everyone’s Favorite Rustbucket”
So, like, just what is this study REALLY saying? That, until then, Cleveland is NOT the best place????!! This glass is half full! I want my money back! Besides they haven’t seen how our wind patterns have changed lately. We are getting more Arctic Clippers than ever before. Be forewarned. This could be bad news for our “best” status.
Ummm…Is there ANY PLACE that will be a good place when the world ends? doubt it….
But we do have Happy Dog and Melt so HA!
Suck it rest of the country
Apparently the one who penned this forgot about the gigantic fault line through the Ohio Valley.
We have all been so used to crappy situations and disappointed by our sports teams, Crappy Weather and political leaders…When the end of the world comes…We’ll all be like,
“Yeah no big deal man, we’re used to this type of shit here in Cleveland”
@ caseycj: what you’re referring to is the New Madrid Fault Line (New Madrid Seismic Zone). It’s not in Ohio but borders Arkansas, Tennessee, Missouri and Kentucky. It’s close enough to Illinois that most of it’s southern region would be affected. Ohio would probably feel a quake from that fault, but not to an apocalyptic degree. Seems we win out again!
salt mines
Hell we survived a burning river, what’s a few zombies???
Yeah…this article is great-my Cali friends are like, “Why do you live in that shithole” and I am like, “8.0 Earthquakes don’t happen here, up here in the NE we don’t have major tornadoes, Mudslides, Firestorms-I think we got you beat!” Go Cleveland–all you have to do is kick Madonna and all the other rap artists (except the Beastie Boys) out of the Rock Hall of Fame and we’re getting somewhere!
Mark Twain said Ohio is the best place to be when the world ends because it is seven years behind the rest of the world.
I would want to be in Cleveland too when the world ends. Why? Because everybody knows that things come to Cleveland ten years after the west coast.
TO ALL THE HALF-INFORMED PEOPLE HERE: what you’re referring to is the New Madrid Fault Line (New Madrid Seismic Zone). It’s not in Ohio but borders Arkansas, Tennessee, Missouri and Kentucky. It’s close enough to Illinois that most of it’s southern region would be affected. Ohio would probably feel a quake from that fault, but not to an apocalyptic degree. Seems we win out again!
Don’t any of you read???? It says when the world ENDS!!! So unless Cleveland is out of this world it will end like the rest of the world!