With temperatures hovering around 147 degrees (approximate) this past week, folks were looking for any and all ways to get out of the sun and cool off. Public pools were packed, ACs were maxed out, and sprinklers and hoses were out in full force. All acceptable ways of beating the heat.
Not acceptable: drinking two Four Lokos, getting naked, and hopping in a public fountain in front of a bunch of people gathered to watch a band concert. That will get you in trouble, even if it succeeds in dropping your core temperature to a reasonable level.
Robert Nelson, 31, of Sandusky, told police he jumped into the fountain because he wanted to make a wish. He was charged with disorderly conduct intoxicated and public indecency.
“Several people had been gathering in the area to watch the band concert at the gazebo,” a police report said. “(A man) witnessed the naked man and called police to handle the situation due to other citizens complaining to him.”
Nelson reportedly told cops he hopped in the fountain so he could make a wish. If that wish was everyone seeing his wang and mugshot, then fortune did in fact smile on him.
This article appears in Jun 20-26, 2012.
I hope his ‘wang shot’ was better than his ‘mug’ shot.
To be fair, pennies and penises look awfully close to the same word.
Can you believe that Greeks used to wrestle bare-balls? I always liked those Greek Statues of guys with small cranks–made me feel normal.
If you want to make a wish, you throw money in the fountain. The magic wish-granting fountain god wants money, not your smelly, sweaty ass.