Reports: It Never Gonna Be Warm Again

A frozen Lake Erie, now and possibly forever Credit: Scene

After having just finished yet again chiseling layers of ice off the Scene Action Weather News Team van, we’re despondent to report that more ice is on the way and, in fact, it will never be warm in Cleveland again.

The upcoming forecast gives us little reason to believe otherwise.

Following a brutal stretch of temps in the single digits during January, Cleveland saw a brief break before welcoming freezing rain that left the city encased in ice. That is, when it wasn’t snowing. Or doing both.

Reprieve is nowhere to be found as Wednesday’s winter weather warnings await.

On tap: Sleet, more freezing rain and snow overnight into Thursday with a weekend storm expected to drop accumulating snow on Northeast Ohio Saturday and well into Sunday.

There’s a good chance temps won’t get above freezing for the next seven days, and with that, there’s an attendant chance that the population will decide en masse to relocate south and cede Cleveland to Canada.

Concord Casimir appears to have unfortunately been correct in his prognostications for the rest of the season. Were he not the cutest cat to have ever metaphorically donned a meterologist hat, he’d be right up there among the most hated beings in Northeast Ohio with Art Modell.