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Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Apple Announces Second U.S. Headquarters, Local Leaders Drop Everything to Brainstorm Code Names

Posted By on Wed, Jan 17, 2018 at 2:33 PM

click to enlarge SAM ALLARD / SCENE
  • Sam Allard / Scene
Shortly after a presentation this afternoon by Cuyahoga County's Chief Economic Development Officer Ted Carter and Team NEO's CEO Bill Kohler  — about, of all things, Amazon — Silicon Valley tech giant Apple announced that it would be building a second "corporate campus" somewhere in the United States.
The pledge is reportedly an offshoot of the Republican tax bill, which has drastically lowered the corporate tax rate. Apple says it will select the location of its second campus by the end of the year.

Unlike Amazon, the online retailer and corporate overlord, which provoked an embarrassing bidding war among U.S. cities earlier this year, Apple hinted at no request for proposals. 

Good thing, because we've seen that movie before: The local Amazon bid has been kept secret in defiance of state public records laws and a sniffing press corps.

Amazon's HQ2 came with a promise of 50,000 high-level employees. Apple's comes with 20,000, and even without an official need for incentive packages, you can bet a squadron of local economic development execs and salivating public officials are already feverishly putting pencils to legal pads as they brainstorm lame code names for their next secret corporate goodie basket.

Perhaps "Banks" or "Bombay," in keeping with the Mighty Ducks "Conway" theme?

If nothing else, we can count upon the whip-smart mathematicians at Cleveland City Hall and Cuyahoga County HQ to get everything wrong.

Today's Amazon presentation — "From Dead Malls to Vibrant Work Sites: The Amazing Amazon Story" — lavished praise upon the new Amazon distribution centers at Euclid Square and Randall Park malls, and the public-private partnerships that made them possible.

The official county Twitter account was live-tweeting the event. It erroneously announced that the new Amazon distribution centers would create 300,000 new jobs (more than half of the county's current workforce, for the record.) They promptly issued a correction: The centers would create 3,000 jobs, not 300,000.

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