Let’s say that you really want to step on Bill Martin’s face, maybe because he makes bags and bags of cash, or his perfectly coifed hair annoys you, or you’re just a big Ted Henry guy. Let’s additionally say that you are a huuuuuge fan of wooly bears. You love the little critters, and can never find enough wooly-related accessories for the summer months. Also, you love shoes. And you really love Cleveland sports. And you happen to have $5,000 sitting in your PayPal account.
There’s literally only one pair of shoes for you. …
This article appears in Feb 20-26, 2008.
I couldn’t agree more about the ugliosity of these shoes. Below are the words to my song that is sweeping Cleveland. You’re welcome Cleveland.
AIR RIZZY 800 SHOES
Well they’re orange and brown
Blue and red
Wine and gold
Now bid, bid, bid
Don’t you, miss out on Rizzo’s shoes
You can do anything in Air Rizzy 800 shoes
You can slide ’em on
Hit the street
People staring at your technicolor foot meat
Do anything that you want to do
Stomp Bill Martin’s face in a pile of poop
But don’t you, miss out on Rizzo’s shoes
You can do anything in Air Rizzy’s 800 shoes
Ah sew cobbler, sew!
Those laces are goin’ places!
You got a week
To place your bid
Dig down deep
‘Cause it’s helping kids
I know it’s one butt ugly shoe
I made those colors when I had the flu
But don’t you, miss out on Rizzo’s shoes
You can do anything in Air Rizzy’s 800 shoes
Ah that cobbler’s givin it his awl
That heal’s got no sole
Fox 8 News
Rizzo’s shoes
I’m just glad there’s only 2!
But don’t you, miss out on Rizzo’s shoes
You can do anything in Air Rizzy’s 800 shoes