'Wonderland Wives,' Now at Convergence-Continuum, is a Bawdy Fairytale Adventure

As we all know, it is advisable to prepare yourself before you see some plays. For instance, you may want to read Hamlet before you see it so you can keep up with the unfamiliar language. In the case of Wonderland Wives, now being produced by Convergence-Continuum at the Liminis Theater, the best prep would be to chug a cheap bottle of muscatel in your parked car before you enter the building.

That may be the best way to get ready for this two-act assault on good taste written by Buddy Thomas. Yes, his name sounds like a Vegas lounge comedian in an off-Strip casino, and his playwriting efforts verify that suspicion. WW is a fractured fairy tale that throws a bunch of famous characters (Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Belle from Beauty and the Beast) into a pot with the aforementioned Beast (named Bruce), Alice (yes, that one), Prince Charming, an Evil Queen, and a feisty talking head inside a Magic Mirror.

The idea is to do an X-rated take on “The Real Housewives” franchise by using the Princesses as the focal point. There is a plot, but I won’t insult your intelligence by describing it. Suffice to say that the script, while lacking in any genuine wit, is bulging with double entendres and campy insults delivered by the princesses, most of whom are played by male actors in drag.

Is it all in poor taste? Well, it depends how you feel about the line “She should go suck corn out of an elephant’s ass.” If that doesn’t offend you, you may be offput by some old-as-Methuselah jokes: “You got a head like a flower…a cauliflower.” Rim shot!

And yes, speaking of rim shots, there are references to anal sex, oral sex, vaginal sex, gay sex, and every other shag, boink and shtupp you can think of. That’s why the princesses in the second act are walking bowlegged after their encounter with Charming, who’s fresh out of prison and intent on doing “terrible things to (their) vaginas.”

The actors do what they can with this material. Samantha Cocco as Belle, Jason Romer as Cindy and David Lenahan as Briar Rose (that’s Sleeping Beauty) successfully surf this two-act tsunami of trashy takes and occasionally clever put-downs (“Let’s get out of here before the Wrinkle Fairy shows up and does a tap dance on your face.”). Kate Smith smoothly handles four different parts including a Mother Superior who’s really an Evil Queen and Vince Stillitano smiles his way through Charming’s sexual exploits. In the less showy role of delicate Snow, Emmet Podgorski serves as the straight (ha!) man (ha!) for the others.

Director Scott Zolkowski controls the traffic well, but it’s too bad he didn’t see fit to include more physical humor to match the script’s balls-to-the-wall verbal outrageousness. If this show is meant as a “challenge to the ‘drag bans’ being rolled out nationwide,” as a program note suggests, then it should embrace the confrontational physical humor that adults-only, X-rated drag employs without blushes or apologies.

Helpful Explanatory Note to Ohio Legislators: Should you happen upon this article as you research new ways to eliminate rights from your LGBTQ+ constituents, please note that the above theater review refers to a performance by and for adults. It is not the same as a Drag Story Hour, so don’t get your panties in a bunch. Those are different things—like apples and bowling balls, or your family photos and your porn stash.

Wonderland Wives
Through December 23 produced by Convergence-Continuum performing at The Liminis Theater, 2438 Scranton Road, Cleveland, 216-687-0074, convergence-continuum.org.

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