Feagler: Mitt Romney is a Goddamned Mormon
Today’s topic: Mitt Romney’s major address on faith … We were at the coffee shop, and the guys all agree: Mitt Romney is a goddammed Mormon. Why, back in my day, we didn’t have Mormons. We had decent people like Catholics, who had decent bosses like the pope, not some guy name John Smith, who…
A Wii Bit of Fun for Brain-Injury Patients
If there’s such a thing as good news for people who suffer brain injuries, Ohio State just might have it: For the past four months, physical therapists at Ohio State’s Dodd Rehab hospital have been prescribing unusual medicine for patients with brain and spinal-chord injuries: mandatory Nintendo wii sessions. From the medical center’s press release:…
Reader: Kucinich Was No Spin Doctor
Are you serious? Calling Dennis Kucinich the “King of Spin?” The title does not even agree with the substance of the article. [“The King of Spin,” December 5] You portray him — based on various news reports published during his time as Mayor of Cleveland — as a disaster, a man incapable of playing the…
This Just In: Totally Nondenominational Concert Announcements for the Holiday Season
Wyclef is gone until January 22, when he’ll play House of Blues. This week, Haunukkah Harry brings 28 new shows. Sure beats a dradel and a pair of socks, huh? Alt-country icons Wilco. Fugee Wyclef Jean. Dance-punk from Victory Records’ Action Action. Hot string rock from Bowfire. Smoldering stoner metal from -16-. Eddie Money. And…
The Hispanic Business Directory: Adios, Giant Eagle; Hola, Boricana Market.
As Scene reported in July, there are Hispanics living in Ohio (“Superior Americans,” July 18). And as comments on the story confirmed, a whole bunch of people wish there weren’t. Nevertheless, the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce for Ohio is banking on a really strange hunch: that Ohioans want to find these people, and, like, give…
The 12 Days of Holidays, Part VI: The Dredel Song and Mr. Hankey
Scene’s multi-denominational celebration of this wintry season continues with the Dredel Song, as performed by your friends at South Park. Worry not; hot Xmas jams are coming soon. In fact, if you can’t wait, click here for South Park pal Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo. — D.X. Ferris
Concert Cheat Sheet: Otep
Who: Otep When: Tuesday, December 11 Where: The Agora Why: Otep is one of the few female-led metal bands that rocks just as hard as its testicle-sporting peers. In fact, Otep Shamaya has more balls than most guys. Latest Album: The_Ascension Best Album: The_Ascension Didja Know? The_Ascension was originally supposed to come out in March.…
Um, Yeah, Coach Brown, We’re Talkin’ About Practice
NBA players get paid a truckload of money to be good at what they do – namely, putting the ball into the hoop. NBA coaches also get paid a truckload of money to be good at what they do – namely, making sure the players know what the hell they’re doing. And any 7th grade…
Public Square: Quit Protecting the Black Kids at Tower City
Another phone call on our story “Pragmatic Racism,” November 28: I read your article about Tower City. I was at Tower City one time. I’m white, but I’m Eastern European and them black kids were making loud noises at me, trying to scare me and shit. So what you’re writing is bullshit. It’s a good…
Public Square: Your Food Critic Was Right about Chain Seafood Joints
I see you have taken a beating about your Fish Tales article. We were at a McCormick and Schmick in Seattle a few years ago and enjoyed it even though it was just bar food. I do see your point about the influx of chain restaurants in this area. It kind of disgusts me. I…
Browns Top Jets. More Importantly, They Cover
Degenerate Gamblers’ Wire Service Report Cleveland, OHIO — Stingy first-half defense and a late-game surge by Jamal Lewis led the Cleveland Browns to a 24-18 win over the New York Jets on Sunday, helping the Browns keep pace in the all-important quest to be the Team That Rarely Fucks Guys Named Bruno Out of Large…
Concert Cheat Sheet: Thrice
Who: Thrice When: Tuesday, December 11, and Wednesday, December 12 Where: House of Blues Why: The California band’s new project, The Alchemy Index, is a two-part, four-disc EP collection that covers all four natural elements: fire, water, air, and earth. Latest Album: The Alchemy Index: Vols. I & II – Fire & Water Best Album:…
LaTourette Syndrome: What does Steve have against Vets?
Just when you thought the feds couldn’t screw war veterans any more than they already have, the government has come along with yet another callous gimmick. On November 30, Democratic Congressional candidate Bill O’Neill, a Vietnam Veteran whose son has done tours in Afghanistan and Iraq, alerted the media that the Defense Department has been…
Money Where Your Mouth Is: The Ryan Humbert Band
This time, Ryan Humbert tells you why you should go see his band’s farewell gig on Saturday. Band: The Ryan Humbert Band Web: www.ryanhumbert.com and www.myspace.com/ryanhumbertband Hometown: Akron, Ohio Sounds like: “The Traveling Wilburys’ love child.” Recommend for fans of: “Tom Petty, Steve Earle, Sheryl Crow, Harry Nilsson, Ryan Adams.” Fun fact: “The band’s newest…
East Cleveland Kids: Is One Swing Set Too Much to Ask For?
As you’ve probably heard, East Cleveland is a tad screwed up these days — a place where the government is so non-functional that firefighters are assigned to groom city parks, where the current mayor broke into office a week before his term started, and the former mayor — well, all she did was kill a…
Are the Browns and Steelers Rivals? ESPN Dude Says No
Joey Porter and Kellen Winslow Jr. go in for a hug. Hey Browns fans! Remember that glorious September morning when you woke up at six and cracked open that first Silver Bullet in the Muni Lot, and you took a long pull of God’s glory and raised that icy can to Lake Erie and spent…
Public Square: Should Journalism Have New Rules for Covering Psycho Killers?
As details emerge around the recent shooting in Omaha, one item stands out: The killer seems to have been motivated in part by a desire for fame. This fame is a result of traditional journalism coming into direct conflict with the realities of modern media and the twenty four hour news cycle. Every journalism student…
Dick Feagler: LeBron James is a Queer-Bait
Today’s subject: LeBron’s sprained finger I was talking to the guys at the coffee shop, and we all agree that LeBron James is a cupcake, a swisher, a queer-bait. Back in my day, that’s what we called any guy who didn’t show up for work when he had a sprained finger. You’d be too embarrassed…
Reader: Judges poll only scratches surface
Thank you for another excellent article about Cuyahoga County judges (“And the Losers Are …,” November 28). This should really be an annual issue. As a member of the “Bar,” I must write under this lame pseudonym because the Ohio Supreme Court will discipline me for chiming in on the issue. As a member of…
Reader: Scene Not Fit for Cage-Lining, and Kucinich is a Visionary
An excitable lad over at DailyKos apparently got a look at Scene’s cover story this week, “The King of Spin,” about young Dennis Kucinich’s rise, fall, and re-rise through Cleveland politics. Here’s his glowing review: The Scene is a yellow rag that I wouldn’t let my birds crap on, for fear the ink would spatter…
Public Square: Tower City isn’t Racist, Pete Kotz is
A phone call from Canton in response to “Pragmatic Racism,” November 28… Hello, Mr. Kotz. This is Bill Hardy, calling from Canton. I just read your piece about pragmatic racism at the mall up there in Cleveland. These shop owners and the mall owners are complaining about loud music with obscene music, the occasional pushing…
Reader: Joe Cimperman is No Fighter for the Poor
A letter sent to Plain Dealer Editor Susan Goldberg: In a December 4 Plain Dealer story by Plain Dealer reporter Mark Naymik about Cleveland Councilman Joe Cimperman announcing he will run for Congress, Naymik claims Cimperman has a record of “populist fights” and has been “maintaining his advocacy for the poor” I think these are…
Welcome to Cleveland! Here’s a Broken Bottle for your Face
King Kahn and BBQ are famous for their rowdy live shows; they wear costumes and generally freak out. But even for these guys, who donned a dress and a swami costume last night at Now That’s Class, Cleveland proved too out of control. First there was the ubiquitous drunker-than-Mel-Gibson-and-loving-it guy who kept climbing on stage…
Ruhlman’s Elements Gets the Nod from an Unexpected Source
We weren’t the least bit surprised to see Elements of Cooking, the latest opus from local author and food authority Michael Ruhlman, make the Books of the Year list in Bon Appetit’s January issue. After all, not only is the text – an exacting, sometimes challenging guide to the fundamentals of cooking, complete with detailed…
Norton Furniture Guy Comedy Night: You gotta see it to believe it!
Last Call Cleveland wants you to watch Marc Brown, the creepy late-night furniture commercial dude, do a half hour of comedy. The sadistic bastards. The shows are this weekend and, according to the video promo above, they’re only five f-ing bucks. — Joe P. Tone
Dennis Kucinich’s Health-Care Proposal Generates Thunderous Round of . . . Laughter?
At the recent Brown and Black Presidential Forum in Iowa, Dennis Kucinich proved that he is definitely the most isolated member of congress when he asked a question . . . of himself. The Little Vegan That Could™ was apparently getting a bit miffed that his fellow Democratic rivals were monopolizing the stage. So when…
The Twelve Days of Holidays, Part IV: A Very Johnny Christmas
Before Johnny Cash’s recording career was in need of a Rick Rubin jump-start, but well after he was an edgy rock and roll pioneer, Cash was a bona-fide crossover phenomenon. In the ’60s and ’70s, the legendary Johnny Cash TV show led to a series of Christmas specials. Unseen for 30 years, the specials from…
Concert Cheat Sheet: Electric Six
Who: Electric Six When: Saturday, December 8 Where: The Grog Shop Why: These Detroit rockers are the funniest band making music today. But they’re not a novelty group. It takes real chops to play Electric Six’s dance-funk-rock fusion. Latest Album: I Shall Exterminate Everything Around Me That Restricts Me From Being the Master Best Album:…
Money Where Your Mouth Is: The Choke
We could have told you all about Choke frontwoman Cameron Eve. But honestly, we were afraid of what she might do to us if she didn’t like it. Which we found kind of hot, actually. Anyway, we’ll let her bassist do the talking … Band: The Choke Web: www.the-choke.com or www.myspace.com/thechokenyc Hometown: NYC Sounds like:…
Kucinich and His Human Pot of Gold: Post gets gross with romance tale
Dennis and Elizabeth Kucinich on the campaign trail, as portrayed by the Washington Post. Today, the Washington Post solidified its brave new image as Tiger Beat for confused middle-aged left-wingers, with a swooning, uber-fluffy account of Dennis Kucinich’s romance with his yes-she’s-hot-I-know-it’s-wierd wife, Elizabeth. He’s the 61-year old runt of the congressional litter. When he’s…
Just in Time for the Holidays: Get your kids the pervert-finder!
Whoever said Cleveland was suffering from brain-drain obviously hasn’t the local father who invented of the “OffenDar.” The man — whose brilliance did not go unnoticed by Channel 3 has developed an electronic device, about the size of a computer battery, that detects the signal emitted from ankle bracelets worn by sex offenders in some…
Mmmmm … Hanukkah Ham …
For the gazillions of Jews in Cleveland, last night marked for the first night of Hanukkah. The “chosen people” celebrated by drinking too much wine and eating greasy latkes and donuts (and we didn’t even feel that bad about it, either. Getting ridiculously drunk on Manischewitz is practically the 11th commandment). It seems that some…
Reader: Tower City is Not Racist; It’s Just Doing What it Had to Do
Hi, my name is John Cullen, and I read your article Pragmatic Racism. I don’t really agree with the article and the tone. As a shopper at Tower City myself, I’ve had several bad experiences with black children running buck wild and causing problems at the mall., Now being a citizen of Cleveland, going to…
Concert Cheat Sheet: Johnathan Rice
Who: Johnathan Rice When: Thursday, December 6 Where: Beachland Tavern Why: Rice is a 24-year-old L.A.-based singer-songwriter who embraces everything about 1977-era California Canyon rockers: the desert, long stretches of highway, and songs about falling in and out of love. Latest Album: Further North Best Album: Further North Didja Know? Rice is dating Rilo Kiley’s…
Money Where Your Mouth Is: Saul Glennon
Saul Glennon frontman Jack Rugan lets us in on a dirty little secret about his band: There IS no Saul. Rugan’s a pretty pleasant guy to chat with, however … Band: Saul Glennon Web: www.MySpace.com/SaulGlennon or www.SaulGlennon.com Hometown: “Cleveland and surrounding parts.” Sounds like: “Take equal parts Beatles, Who, Beach Boys, Elvis Costello, Burt Bacharach,…
The Twelve Days of Holidays, Part III: Festivus
Come year-end, it’s the time to celebrate Festivus, the non-denominational, secular celebration that most of the country discovered through a Seinfeld episode. Click the video above for a taste. Disillusioned with the commercialized frenzy that accompanies the holidays, George Costanza’s dad created this yuletide alternative, and he called it Festivus. The new holiday is celebrated…
Lost Cause
Casting Nicole Kidman as The Golden Compass’ glacial megalomaniac Mrs. Coulter is no less inspired for being obvious. Indeed, she was the first and only choice for director Chris Weitz, who adapted this first installment of Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy. A pity, then, that this casting coup is just one miss in The…
Debbie Davies
When it came time to record her latest album, Blues Blast, Debbie Davies decided to play the whole thing live in the studio with as many friends as she could cram in there. “It was almost like a party,” she says. Guitarists Tab Benoit and Coco Montoya, as well as harmonica player Charlie Musselwhite, are…
In Sync
Keep your eyes peeled for a black dude named Antoine at tonight’s So You Think You Can Sync competition. The 6-foot-5 banker cut up the floor last year when he mouthed the words to a Whitney Houston tune to take home the $50 cash prize. “All of a sudden, the DJ puts on his music,…
Ha! for Hanukkah
He might be Jewish, but Rob Tannenbaum isn’t going to ban Christmas altogether at his concert tonight. “The more times I hear ‘Winter Wonderland,’ the better,” says Tannenbaum, a singer for the Good for the Jews music-and-comedy duo. “The more times I can have a 145-pound Santa ring a bell in my ear, the happier…
Mission: Still Impossible
Redacted was made in Jordan over 18 days for $5 million and has a credibly sun-blasted look. “Welcome to the oven,” Baghdad-based Private Angel “Sally” Salazar (Izzy Diaz) tells the presumed audience for his video journal. Much of the action is filtered through Sally’s camera and tempered by his promise of “truth, 24 times a…
Electric Six
Electric Six frontman Dick Valentine is the anti-Bono. Four years and three albums after the Detroit dance-rock outfit dropped its explosive debut, Fire, Valentine still shuns songs about Really Big Subjects, preferring instead to write about getting wasted at McDonald’s and how much he hates Lenny Kravitz. On Electric Six’s new CD, I Shall Exterminate…
Elf Life
As you stroll through the malls, take a look at Santa and his elves while they await streams of wishful children. Sure, Saint Nick and his minions look happy, but are they? Cleveland Public Theatre’s third holiday run of The Santaland Diaries, Joe Montello’s adaptation of satirist David Sedaris’ short story, takes a hard look…
She’ll Be Home for Christmas
As much as Wynonna Judd comes across as a brassy country-music mama, the 43-year-old “Rockin’ With the Rhythm” songbird will have a soft spot for holiday music during tonight’s A Classic Christmas concert at Playhouse Square. The set list includes tracks off the debut Christmas CD that Judd recorded last year, with festive faves like…
Fish Tales
It’s a chilly Thursday night in Beachwood, ground zero in Northeast Ohio’s chain-restaurant explosion. Bahama Breeze, Cheesecake Factory, P.F. Chang’s . . . the list is as long as the Friday-night wait at the nearby Red Robin. Now add McCormick & Schmick’s, the Portland, Oregon-based seafood house that opened at Beachwood Place Mall in September.…
Dave Koz
Take Kenny G’s soulful cheese, top it with a little of David Sanborn’s baloney, and put it on the whitest bread possible, and you have any one of Dave Koz’s lightly bouncing sax solos. Koz remains a smooth-jazz MVP, frequently topping the charts and netting listeners in the lucrative adult-contemporary circle. Earlier this year, he…
Sketchy Details
Sweeping pencil lines and charcoal smears dominate tonight’s opening of Delineate: A Drawing Exhibition at Bonfoey Gallery. And so they should: To showcase their diversity, seven Ohio artists have contributed a collection of 35 drawings. There’s Yale-educated Laurence Channing’s sketches of charcoal cityscapes, which were inspired by hundreds of shots he’s taken with his 35-millimeter…
Dandy Dozen
Imagine you were on the jury that heard O.J. Simpson’s murder case in 1995, and you were the only juror clamoring for a guilty verdict. Would you have had the onions to stand up against 11 people who were ready to set the Juice loose? This is the dilemma, in reverse, of Twelve Angry Men’s…
Otep
“Art is war,” proclaims Otep Shamaya. The singer for the L.A.-based metal-fusion band Otep considers herself a revolutionary. She makes cathartic art via visceral screams and songs that sear the ears like hot grease. Her lyrics are laden with apocryphal poetics about religion, politics, love, and loathing. She’s also a big fan of Jim Morrison,…
The Yiddish Are Coming!
Jews have taken hundreds of years to welcome fatty foods (have welcomed fatty foods for hundreds of years??) into their Yiddish Hanukkah celebrations. So brace yourself for plates of potato pancakes and jelly doughnuts as Cleveland’s Jewish community marks the Miracle of the Oil this afternoon with songs, storytelling, and lots of grub. And you…
Odd Girls In
The Evil Friendship. Twilight Lust. Satan Was a Lesbian. The titles of woman-on-woman pulp novels of the 1950s, many of which were written by men for men, weren’t terribly subtle. And they usually featured sexy dykes who suffered tragic fates due to their “perverted” desires — thus teaching a pseudo-moralistic lesson in those uptight times.…
The Sword
The hammer of the gods has switched fists hundreds of times throughout the ages. It now rests in the able hands of the Sword, an Austin-based quartet that embodies everything sacred about classic metal: mystical imagery, pummeling rhythms, and, most important, heavier-than-thou riffage. “I think people are tired of incoherent screaming and are ready for…
In the Beginning
Musical Box founder Sébastian Lamothe suspects the Montreal-based quintet will update its re-enactments of Genesis’ 1970s concerts after tonight’s show at Playhouse Square. But until then, the band will recreate the tour that heralded the Brit supergroup’s 1973 album, Selling England by the Pound, with songs like “Supper’s Ready,” “Horizons,” and “The Return of the…
Capsule reviews of current area theater presentations.
Beauty and the Beast — Back for its third and final appearance, the Beck Center production of this Walt Disney epic hasn’t lost any of its charm. Dan Folino is still comically shivering as the Beast, and Natalie Green will warm any little girl’s heart as the beauteous Belle. Even though the show is almost…
Angels & Airwaves
Tom DeLonge’s head has been lost in the stars ever since Blink-182 split. The dude used to make videos where he and his bandmates jogged naked through crowded streets. They recorded pun-happy albums like Take Off Your Pants and Jacket. These days, he writes and sings stuff like “There’s a little red bridge with a…
Batteries Not Invited
Leave your TiVos and Playstation 3s at home if you’re going on one of tonight’s Holiday Lantern Tours at Hale Farm & Village. That’s because the outings are strictly about the electrics-free 19th century. The 90-minute tours — which leave every 20 minutes — take you through the candlelit Wheatfield Village, with actors dressed in…
Snack Attack
There’s something about sitting down to a beer and a bowl of stale pretzels that rubs Scott Kim the wrong way. “In most Asian countries, people don’t drink without eating,” says the Korean-born chef-restaurateur. “No matter how humble or upscale a bar may be, there’s always an assortment of good things to eat with your…
Cadaver in Drag
Chop up the best parts of ’70s sludge-rockers Sir Lord Baltimore, mix in some echo-laden psychedelia, and stretch it all out with the punching screams of late-era Black Flag, and you get something that sounds a lot like Kentucky’s Cadaver in Drag. Raw Child plays out like a noisy heavy-metal opera, with the 19-minute opener,…
Working Overtime
Cover-band musicians take it as a compliment when their fans tell them to keep their night job. But the flattery still doesn’t inspire the members of Last Call to quit their full-time gigs as a public schoolteacher, commercial-property broker, and CFO of a law firm. After work, the quintet plays AC(?)-rock staples, from the Pretenders…
Capsule reviews of current area art exhibitions..
ONGOING Light to Spare – Art and light go way back — think Dutch masters, the Impressionists, etc. That’s what makes this little show so fascinating: Four contemporary artists prove that natural light still matters in this electric age. Philadelphian Morgan Craig speaks Cleveland’s language in several large, photo-realistic, oil-on-linen paintings in which light transforms…
Sterling Harrison
Sometimes the weight of an entire album rides on a single song. In the case of the late soul-singer Sterling Harrison’s South of the Snooty Fox, that track is Tom Waits’ heart-wrenching “The House Where Nobody Lives.” Without it, the disc would be good but not great — a fine collection of vintage R&B numbers…
Out of Africa
Here’s your Swahili lesson for today, in case you’re wandering down to the Rock Hall’s eighth annual Kuumba Festival: The tribute to the African American holiday Kwanzaa starts with the greeting “Habari Gani.” That means “What’s the news?” We’re here to tell you: Because the fest’s national roots date to 1966 California, Cleveland organizers have…
You Only Live Thrice
The guys in Thrice have a little problem: They talk before they think. “You don’t think about the repercussions,” says guitarist Teppei Teranishi, referring to a post his band made on its website a couple years ago after it performed at a large radio festival in Texas. We were just saying about how bad all…
Bobby Rush
When Bobby Rush finally leaves the chitlin circuit, it’ll most likely be because he outlasted it. When his core audience grows even grayer and fewer in numbers, this sturdy superstar of the old soul circuit will still breathe life into a bluesy R&B mix. Such a scenario could be driving Rush’s desire to reach out…
Picture Perfect
In “Downtown Train,” North Royalton guitarist Kyle Lanzer croons about his 2000 trip to Scandinavia, where the cops nearly threw him in the clink. The trouble started on a train ride through Denmark, during which the 31-year-old Sun newspaper photographer fell asleep with a planted box of heroin under his seat. Lanzer’s brother and Swedish-born…
Relocation Nation
“A Few Good Men,” First Punch, November 14 Almost anywhere but here will do: I’m not surprised that Cleveland has become a prime recruiting ground for employers throughout the country. A nearly lifelong Northeast Ohioan, I left for South Dakota a couple of years ago and have no intention of ever returning. When South Dakota…
Music for the Eyes
Music DVDs are typically used as stopgaps between CD releases or to drum up support for some other project (movie cameo, tour, impending jail sentence) an artist is promoting. Most amount to little more than music-video compilations, hastily shot concert films, or the latest chapters in continuing sagas about horny midgets and one very crowded…
Keijo
Every decade or so, a pagan-psychedelic scene sprouts that involves a bunch of longhaired hippies dedicated to a let’s-get-naked-in-the-mud ethos. For the past seven years, Finland has been the center of that scene, and Keijo is the main reason why. He’s a one-man band who plays guitar, percussion, and keyboards — venturing from subterranean blues…
Gospel Truth
Karamu Theatre pays tribute to a longtime mentor tonight as the curtain rises for Langston Hughes’ gospel musical, Black Nativity. And director Terence Greene doles out the accolades to artistic director Mike Malone, who died earlier this year after leaving a legacy that included introducing the show to Cleveland audiences in 1979. “He was a…
Dear Stephen
When I saw the news, I gasped. Or perhaps it was more of a semi-audible murmur. “SOUTH CAROLINA DEMOCRATS REFUSE TO LET STEPHEN COLBERT ON PRESIDENTIAL BALLOT,” screamed the Fox News scroll. This is what America had come to. Here was the nation’s patrioticest patriot, the brightest mind below the Food Network in the basic-cable…
The Brits Are Alright
Fans of deafening reverb and swirling guitars rejoiced when enigmatic My Bloody Valentine frontman Kevin Shields recently revealed that his band — which has been dormant since 1995 — was reactivating to release a new album and play a handful of gigs. This announcement came only a few weeks after another noisy, distortion-drenched band, Swervedriver,…
The Whiskey Daredevils
The Whiskey Daredevils are best known for their anti-hipster anthem “Ironic Trucker Hat.” That’s about to change. It’s only a matter of time before every jukebox in the city has the band’s new CD in constant rotation. It’s a custom-mixed cocktail made for hard-drinking rock fiends who genuinely enjoy Pabst Blue Ribbon, 40-weight alt-country, and…
Marc Your Calendar
When Mike Polk agreed to have his sketch troupe perform at tonight’s grand opening of the new Borderline Comedy Club, he knew they’d have to pull off something spectacular. But how could his four-man group come up with a show creepy enough to live up to the two-hour act’s name: Last Call Cleveland’s Very Scary…
The King of Spin
It was December 1978, the darkest period in Cleveland history. Just a year earlier, 31-year-old Dennis Kucinich had been elected mayor. Now the city was in bankruptcy. Six hundred jobs had been slashed, including 400 policemen and firefighters. The neighborhood development corporations, once the backbone of Cleveland’s renewal, had been drained of their funding. And…
Jug Heads
Cleveland’s obsession with polka is a nationally circulated factoid. But our city is also home to Todd Kwait, one of the world’s most rabid fans of jug-band music. You’re probably wondering, “What the hell is jug-band music?” That’s the same thing Kwait asked in 1997, when he saw John Sebastian and the J-Band in concert.…
Michelle Shocked
Michelle Shocked always sang with soul, and it runs deeper than ever on her album, ToHeavenURide. When she’s not belting out deep, rootsy blues, she stretches her pipes in a gospel choir. That side of her is front-and-center for the collection of traditional spirituals and original songs, which pays tribute to greats like Sister Rosetta…
Fears of a Clown
Artie Lange swears he isn’t a homophobe; he just doesn’t see the pleasure in getting a poke up his poop chute. “If you say to me, ‘Art, are you afraid of getting fucked in the ass?’ I don’t want to offend anybody, but I’d have to say it might be my single biggest fear,” says…
Copper Caper
Last week, 19-year-old Frank Mason and his mother’s boyfriend, 25-year-old Anthony Upton, decided to launch new careers in Northeast Ohio’s highest growth industry: Stealing scrap for fun and profit. So our heroes broke into American Electric Power in Canton, stealing copper wire from a substation before making a run for it, according to Canton Police.…
Austrian Doom
Medina’s Fistula has signed a one-album deal with Austria’s PsycheDOOMelic for worldwide distribution of Burdened by Your Existence, the stoner-metal group’s full-length debut. The record company’s international doom-sludge roster includes Dream Death, Orodruin, and Negative Reaction. Label owner Márk Hegedüs first interviewed the band for his zine, Psychedelic. Then the group contributed two tracks to…
The Choke
Choke frontwoman Cameron Eve works the stage like a blond hybrid of Tina Turner and Iggy Pop. And the N.Y.C. quartet represents about the same demographic mix, blending the songwriting finesse of ’60s Motown girl groups with a musical attack that’s high-energy 1977 punk. Like, it’s so ’77 that Buzzcocks bassist Tony Barber produced their…
Crybaby Blues
Pierre Lacocque tries to hide the tears at the memory of his dad buying him his first harmonica. Even as a 3-year-old boy in his adopted France, he sensed that the green plastic plaything would play a pivotal part in his childhood. “I remember crying when I heard the sounds that came out of that…
Cellar Beware
The Girl Next Door (Anchor Bay) If the horror of Saw was a poblano pepper, this here is the habañero. Derived from Jack Ketchum’s infamous novel, sometimes word-for-word, The Girl Next Door — based on a true story — is a sort of Hostel meets Stand By Me: A group of children gather at the…
Our top DVD picks scheduled for release this week:
Battlestar Galactica: Razor (Universal) The Best of Crank Yankers (Paramount) Bob Hope: MGM Movie Legends Collection (MGM) Erik the Viking: The Director’s Cut (MGM) Exiled (Magnolia) The Flash Gordon Collection (Passport) Tyler Perry’s House of Payne: Volume One (Lionsgate) Ingmar Bergman: Four Masterworks (Criterion) Lady Chatterley (Kino) Law & Order: Special Victims Unit — The…
Calo
Casual listeners might dismiss Calo as another group of Tool imitators. That’s because the first two cuts on its debut album are built from the bottom up. Besides, Calo’s namesake sibs — Mike on bass, Dave on drums — construct some wicked tribal rhythms that are as complex as anything Maynard’s crew ever recorded. But…
Wascally Wabbit
Whether you realize it or not, classical music was as much a part of your weekend cartoon routine as cereal and pajamas. Arias underscored the Acme rockets and crescendos (symphonies? concertos/i?) played behind? coyote crashes. You were probably just too giddy about Elmer Fudd’s constant misfortunes to notice. Bugs Bunny on Broadway — led by…
Future Shock
For a game that’s considered Microsoft’s premier 360 title this holiday season, it’s amazing how sloppy Mass Effect is. Graphical glitches distract from otherwise fascinating character designs and alien vistas, constant stops and stutters lengthen load times, and the inventory system must be the worst in history. And just as you’re gnashing your teeth at…
Johnathan Rice
Singer-songwriter Johnathan Rice is a 24-year-old guitar-strumming troubadour who was raised in Scotland, but moved to L.A. a few years ago to make it big. His two albums (including the most recent, Further North) are all about California dreaming. If that sounds like it puts Rice’s musical reference somewhere around 1977, you’re not far off.…
Punk Rock Bingo
Punk Rock Bingo isn’t full-contact, but it is fast. Hip-hop maestro Terry Urban steps away from the wheels of steel and spins old-school punk tunes like Minor Threat, the Dead Milkmen, and Agent Orange. As he does, Dozen Dead Roses singer Brandon Zano calls the bingo — and Slayer is the soundtrack for special speed…
Breaking News
WKYC-TV 3 reporter Eric Mansfield makes his debut as Jacob in Weathervane Playhouse’s eighth annual production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. The veteran gumshoe will share stage time with a rotating cast of choirs from four Summit County elementary schools, as they take a trip through Biblical Egypt, courtesy of Joseph’s knack for…
Season’s Feces
TOP PICK — Christmas Time in South Park (Paramount) Just in time for the holidays, Cartman, Kenny, and the gang celebrate the season on this DVD collection of all seven Christmas eps. “Merry Christmas, Charlie Manson,” “A Very Crappy Christmas,” and “Woodland Critter Christmas” feature South Park’s usual mix of cultural skewering and foul-mouthed laughs.…
Amon Amarth
Swedish death-metal combo Amon Amarth lifted its moniker from one of J.R.R. Tolkien’s fantasy books. It’s in the elvish language of Sindarin and means “Mount Doom.” Fittingly, most of Amon Amarth’s songs are about Norse mythology and everyday viking activities — like going on quests and exploring ruins. The band has evolved into an extremely…
Christmas TV Specials: Cleveland-Style
Click here for some Cleveland-style Christmas TV Specials.
A League of Their Own
Like a slapstick scene from an old I Love Lucy episode, a cast of accident-prone actresses vows that the show must go on in The Farndale Avenue Housing Estate Townswomen’s Guild Dramatic Society’s Production of a Christmas Carol. Take the opening scene, in which the woman who plays a gender-bending Cratchit is rushed to the…
