Threatening to “Shoot Some Politicians” Will Get You In Trouble (Updated)
Scary even when Elmo says it. Update: Chester Smith III, the employee who allegedly made the threats, will not be charged. (Cleveland.com) *** Details are still scarce, but both 19 Action News and WEWS are reporting that a Cuyahoga County employee has been put on administrative leave after threatening to “shoot some politicians” if he…
Pic of the Day: Chubbie Baby — LeBron’s Party Promotions Agent, Ohio Rapper, Gun Nut
LeBron James is being sued by an Atlanta nightclub, which is really boring. The real nugget of that news item is that LeBron’s party promotion agent is named Chubbie Baby, and Chubs is an Ohio rapper and absolute gun lover, as you can tell from this picture (he’s the one in the middle). Read all…
Pissed Listener Harasses WMMS 100.7 With Laser, Porn
Marriage counseling rule No. 544: Shock jocks make lousy therapists. Matthew Rakovec learned this lesson the hard way. Wounded when his wife left him, the 38-year-old Parma Heights man sought counsel on the airwaves with WMMS shock jock Rover last month. But instead of soothing words, the host and crew of Rover’s Morning Glory heckled…
Ohio No. 3 In Oxycodone Use
Congrats, fellow Buckeyes. You ingested the third most oxycodone in America in 2009. We’ll wait while you re-focus your eyes and read that sentence again, because you’re probably high right now. The Sun Sentinel farmed through U.S. Department of Justice pill records and found that while you are still woefully behind the Sunshine State of…
The Quality of Cleveland Life Index
Your guide to thriving in fabulous Cleveland. The Family Guy: PD report reveals a litany of Prosecutor Bill Mason’s relatives have been hired for public jobs. Also shocking: Taxpayer cash used as napkins at all Mason family reunions. Your House Speaker — Winning!: A Tea Party leader recently claimed “Charlie Sheen is making more sense…
DEA Bans Fake Weed; The Toking Continues Regardless
Not only is it stronger, it also smells better than real weed. We hear. “Spice,” a synthetic form of marijuana legally sold in local head shops and corner stores, has shouldered its way into the mainstream over the past two years. And like most everything else fun and popular, it has landed on the government’s…
Download Chip Tha Ripper’s New Mixtape and Share The Washington Post’s Enthusiasm
Chip Tha Ripper has long been a Clevealnd fave, a sly, smart rapper with style to spare. But you already know that right? Now the rest of the world can hear some of Chip’s best rhymes, thanks to The Washington Post’s glowing endorsement of Chip’s terrific new mixtape, Gift Raps. Says the paper: If you…
Money Ball, Tribe Style
The Indians have shown little interest in spending money on baseball players, but they’re shelling out for country stars. Last week the club announced its first-ever Indians Music Festival at Progressive Field, a lineup that includes Brad Paisley and Blake Shelton. It’s scheduled for June 11, roughly the same day the Tribe will be mathematically…
Transvestite Scares Away Woman at South Park Mall
“Which floor is swim wear on?” In Journalism school there’s a golden rule they hammer home early: When writing a police blotter, lead with transvestites. Get those girls up top, works every time. Case in point, Strongsville Patch’s roundup from Monday, which kicks off with a report of gender-bending mall antics at an area Macy’s.…
Morning Brew: Bob Evans Remodeling, AT&T Spending Millions in Cleveland, American Greetings Staying, and Tressel in Trouble
Good morning, Cleveland. Here’s some stuff to read while you go all Buckeye crazy on the haters today. — American Greetings announced it will keep its headquarters in Ohio, but no specific location was given. Would have been great if John Kasich sent them a thank you card from Hallmark. (Cleveland.com) — Bob Evans is…
Trio Pulled Over With Goose In Their Car
A trio from Chillicothe made every morning news anchor’s job easier this morning after they were caught with a goose in their car this week. Pun city has never been easier to get to for the wee-hour TV stewards. Cops stopped a car on North High Street after they noticed a goose standing in the…
Don King in Legal Battles With Puerto Rican Taco Seller
Taco vendors beware. Boxing impresario, one-time killer, HBO movie subject, Cleveland’s favorite coiffed son — many are the features in Don King’s cap. He’s also got a street rep for being a fierce foe, especially in the courtroom. Deadspin has dredged the deep legal flow of the U.S. Court of Appeals and found an interesting…
Ohio Takes a Low Spot on Well-Being Index
“Well-being,” so says Google Images. According to our rough estimate, it’s been about 6.7 days since Cleveland or Ohio were last slapped onto some ranking list. We know you’re probably feeling a little skittish having gone that long without a random web site crunching number through a specious quantitative process to evaluate how your geographic…
Chimaira Get In on the Whole Winning Thing
It was only a matter of time before someone cashed in on Charlie Sheen’s flameout with a cover version of “Wild Thing,” so it might as well be a group of Clevelanders. Cleveland metal band Chimaira just released “Wild Thing” — used in Sheen’s 1989 movie Major League — and you can buy it on…
Pic of the Year: The Sad Miami Heat
The Miami Heat lost again yesterday, this time to the Chicago Bulls, after LeBron James missed a last-second layup. The post-game press conference with Wade and James had this magical moment, which should make everyone in Cleveland, and for that matter, the world smile.
This Guy Really, Really Loves the Cavs
Yesterday, Dan Gilbert took to Twitter with a nice offer: tweet him the reason you are the biggest Cavs fan on the planet and he’d pick one winner to receive a pair of courtside seats to watch last night’s game against the Hornets. The winning tweet was actually a link to a YouTube video where…
James Edward Abbott, Library Perv, Caught Peeping and Packing Knives
“Which one was the men’s room?” Old dirty men are a public library mainstay. Whether they’re looking for shelter from the elements (homeless) or homing in on free internet access (porn), libraries across America are stocked with these shifting characters taking up all the good comfortable couches and smelling slightly of the Wendy’s dollar menu.…
William Dilley, Bad Financial Advisor, Alters Old Woman’s Will To Make Himself Rich
Financial advisers are supposed to bring you security and peace of mind, especially when they’re assisting you in end-of-life details like your will and estate. It’s stressful enough of a process thinking about death and the sum total of your time on Earth without worrying about whether advisers like William Dilley are out to scam…
Concert Review: Jonathan Richman at the Beachland
Road runner Lots of people know singer-songwriter Jonathan Richman from his key role in There’s Something About Mary, but he earned his fan-boy reverence in the mid ‘70s as leader of the proto-punk band the Modern Lovers. Since then, Richman has scaled back, turning into a surprisingly minimal, acoustic songwriter accompanied onstage by only drummer…
Pic of the Day: Topless Men Serve Paczkis
Via the Lorain Morning Journal, here’s a pic from the 14th annual Paczki Ball in Lorain. Those crazy Poles. We’re not sure exactly why they are in their underwear without shirts, or why they’re wearing wings, or why the one guy in the back felt the need to formal-up the outfit with a tie, but…
Man Brings Grandchild to Meth Lab
Grandparents have it easy. They get to spoil the grandchildren, bestow gifts and food and snacks, without the responsibility of actually raising the kid. It’s a win-win. No long nights up with crying. Big bowls of ice cream. They do have one responsibility though: grandparents are built-in babysitters, a task most look forward to as…
Police Investigate Cries, Discover Goats and Pot
A concerned utility worker who was serving a disconnection notice to a house on E. 113th St. heard cries coming from inside the residence. It sounded like a woman wailing for help. He did what any Good Samaritan would and phoned the authorities. WKYC reports that the cops showed up to find an unoccupied residence…
Gun-Wielding Road Rager Encounters Gun-Toting Motorist
Road ragers feel like badasses during tantrums. Fueled by anger, they feel superior, stronger, more powerful than the lowly commuter who dared piss them off so badly. It’s easy with that false sense of bravado to operate without fear, to belittle, scare, and otherwise torment some driver who was oblivious and selfish enough to inconvenience…
Concert Review: Akron/Family at Grog Shop
Whether or not you enjoyed Akron/Family at the Grog Shop last night largely depends on how willing you were to embrace the communal spirit. Beyond that, the 90-minute set required you to be patient with three members of the community seemingly content to casually stroll their way through some of their more recent songs. Openers…
Man Leaves Naked Photos of Himself at WalMart
Would you like to see this man naked? The problem with exhibitionists is that while they’re exposing themselves to get their rocks off, they’re most likely shocking and offending innocent bystanders who happen to witness their displays and have no interest in seeing their bathing suit areas. Take 44-year-old Rodney Kunkel of Toledo, for example.…
Adjust Accordingly
It’s based on a Philip K. Dick story. And there’s a sci-fi element to it. But The Adjustment Bureau is no Blade Runner. But, thankfully, it’s no A Scanner Darkly either. This muddled story about a popular politician (played by a coasting Matt Damon) whose fate is in the hands of a mysterious agency loses…
Jamie Oliver Is Coming to Make Cleveland Healthy
On the heels of news that lots of Ohio’s kids are fat comes news that could change that. Jamie Oliver is on his way to the rescue. That health-obsessed accent attached to a body announced today that Cleveland is one of five cities that will be home to new “Food Revolution Kitchens” — community centers…
Mom Lets Kids Drive Car, Crashes in Gas Main
Look out. Teenage drivers are terrifying. But pre-teen drivers — there’s a concept warped enough to fry your brain. It does happen, though. It takes one adult with a frail grasp of parental responsibly and a helping of booze to get a single-digit sprout behind the wheel, according to the Sandusky Register. The results can…
Mike Holmgren Almost Made Himself Coach of the Browns
If the NFL and the players union ever agree on anything, Pat Shurmur will get down to the business of coaching the Browns, but it could have been Mike Holmgren himself, not Shurmur, who would be patrolling the sidelines next year as savior and overlord of the Browns. Mike Holmgren told a Seattle radio station…
Ohio’s Kids Are Still Fat
An Ohio state health department study shows that just as many of Ohio’s kids are fat now as were fat five years ago. The percentage of obese kids — just over 30% — remains basically the same despite increased efforts to get children slimmed down. The study also shed some light on groundbreaking news involving…
SupermanAvengers Movie to be Filmed in Cleveland (Updated)
Update II: Yep, it’s the Avengers. *** Update: Whoops. Well, it looks like the PD either jumped the gun on naming Superman the movie that will be filmed in Cleveland, or someone just used Superman instead of superhero, because their report now just says a “superhero” movie. Internet boards had pegged the project as The…
Wonder Bar Gets New Old Chef
The Wonder Bar (2044 E. 4th St., 216-298-4050, www.wonderbarcleveland.com) has seen its share of chefs, menus and concepts since it opened in the summer of 2007. Last month it took another turn with the addition of Joe Bemer, a chef who has worked at Melange, 56 West, and others. “The past is behind us,” Bemer…
Flour Opening in March
The best view in the house at Flour, which is now slated to open in late March, may be the very first one diners see. Upon crossing the threshold, guests will have a clear view of the bustling bar and lounge to the left, a massive 630-bottle wine rack to the right, and the open…
County Employee Dead After Possible Assault (Updated)
Update: The coroner says Tashia Burch-York died of natural causes and not from injuries stemming from an assault by a youth she was working with at the county’s Department of Children and Family services. (Cleveland.com) *** Special credit is due to those who toil in the ranks of the county’s Department of Children and Family…
Denise Grollmus, Former Black Keys Wife, Spills Beans On End of Marriage With Pat Carney
Once upon a time, Black Keys drummer Patrick Carney and former Scene/Beacon Journal writer Denise Grollmus had one of those “fairy tale” rock and roll marriages: a pair of young indie-rock geeks bonding over their passion for obscure music. Grollmus was along for the ride as the Keys went from Akron obscurity to the Hippest…
The Most Honest DUI Suspect Ever
Why no, officer, I can’t walk in a straight line. Usually when you are intoxicated and pulled over by a cop, you try everything in your power to hide what is happening. Mints, cigarettes, pop, coffee — anything in reach to hide the stink on your breath. And you probably take a few seconds to…
Ashtabula Sheriff’s Deputies Back on Job
Last year we dialed you in to the scene in Ashtabula County, where a budget shortage threatened to turn the county into a police-less state of vigilantism, or, as our in-house legal expert (bartender) termed it: bad shit waiting to happen. Due to a funding crunch, the Ashtabula County Sheriff’s Department was forced to lay…
Video: Drunk Priest Offers Sex To Arresting Officers
Imagine you are a pastor. Getting clipped for a DUI is bad enough. It’s embarrassing to your flock, your church, your ego, and your station. At that point, you take your lumps, sleep it off, apologize, and pay your due. Unfortunately, if you are shit-faced blotto in the cell shortly after your arrest, you might…
Video: High Speed Chase Ends With Car On Fire
48-year-old Michael Bray of Sheffield Lake was speeding along when a cop noticed that his tags were expired. Oh, yeah, and he was weaving in lanes. When the copper flashed his siren and turned on his lights, Bray took off. Apparently Bray was under the influence and had no interest in being under arrest, so…
PolitiFact Shoots Down State Reps Claim About Wendy’s Founder
No deathbed conversions here. Only days after deflating a State Rep’s claim that bargaining agreement protesters in Columbus used the statehouse as a personal porta potty, PolitiFact strikes again, this time dismantling an Ohio GOPer’s statements about America’s favorite fast food baron, Dave Thomas. In a guest spot on 90.3’s “Sound of Ideas” show, State…
Lightning Strike Leads Cops to Pot-Filled House
Of all the random occurrences that could blow up your homespun pot growing operation, a lightning strike is perhaps the least likely. Someone has loose lips? That happens. A neighbor sees something they shouldn’t through the windows? Happens too. But an act of God? A lightning strike? Man, that sucks. On May 7, 2010, a…
Attention: DevoTees
Here’s an early warning for Devo fans. The DEVOtional, a fan gathering that’s been held for the past 11 years in Northeast Ohio, attracting Devo fans from round the country, will take place August 26 and 27. Once again, it will be at the Beachland Ballroom. It will again feature a Friday night jam session…
Six Guys Mug Akron Man for Groceries
Why does it take six guys to mug a dude for some groceries? Unfortunately, that’s what happened to an individual in Akron this week when he came up against a group of thugs that don’t understand the concept of a fair fight. Luckily, the 20-year-old victim wasn’t seriously injured after the altercation at the Walgeen’s…
Morning Brew: Williams-Bolar on Dr. Phil, Hopkins Parking, Cops in Trouble, and K2 Banned
Good morning, Cleveland. Here’s some stuff to read while you’re not reading other stuff. — The Reverend Al Sharpton and Akron Beacon Journal columnist Bob Dyer will be guests on a future episode of the Dr. Phil show to discuss the case of Kelley Williams-Bolar, the mother who lied about the residency of her children…
Pic of the Day: Charlie Sheen is Winning in an Indians Hat
Charlie Sheen has taken his fame-ball flameout to Twitter in the midst of his nonstop world media tour. He tweeted out this picture yesterday. Reppin’ the Tribe, Charlie — we like it. It seems painfully obvious now there was more Ricky Vaughn in you than anyone ever gave you credit for.
We Get Mail
Not Easy Being Green We all owe a debt of gratitude to Maude Campbell for the incredible story “Dead Wood” [January 19, 2011]. I had no idea energy companies were considering burning live trees to power our homes and cities. What an atrocity. My husband works at the Holden Arboretum (tree museum) and he was…
Stay In!
TOP PICK – VIDEO GAME Mario Super Sports Mix (Nintendo) Be sure to play Nintendo’s latest all-star game for the Wii with some friends. The multiplayer is the best way to enjoy the four games — volleyball, hockey, basketball, and dodgeball — filled with the usual Mushroom Kingdom characters. Basketball is the best, and volleyball…
Bearing Crosses
Florida punks Against Me! are in a bit of a predicament. After nudging the mainstream in 2007 with their major-label debut — the excellent New Wave — the band followed it up last year with the solid White Crosses. Within a few months, their record company dropped them, just as they were about to launch…
City Snickers
City Snickers Ed Helms trades The Office for a trip to Cedar Rapids By Michael GallucciEd Helms spends a sizable chunk of his new movie Cedar Rapids in his underwear. The star of The Office says there’s a good reason for this — besides, of course, that it’s pretty damn funny to see Andy “The…
Film Capsules
The Adjustment Bureau (PG-13) — Matt Damon and Emily Blunt star as star-crossed lovers in this new thriller. Beastly (PG-13) — A teen take on the Beauty and the Beast story, starring Vanessa Hudgens. Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (PG-13) — Martin Lawrence puts on a dress again. Brandon T. Jackson joins him. Black…
Ballroom Blitz
The Beachland Ballroom has been the city’s most open-eared concert venue for 11 years, booking a little bit of everything — from jazz and blues to rock and punk. “The initial thing, when we first opened, was that we wanted to be a great music club that’s really diverse in terms of its booking,” says…
Local Band In Focus
Meet the Band: Neal Campbell (guitars), Dylan Gomez (drums), and Matt Brower (bass and keyboards) Oh, the Noises They’ll Make: Established in 2008 as Captain Kneal and the Noisemakers, the electronica-leaning prog-rockers changed their name last year to the Lorax Tree (based on a Dr. Seuss book) because Bruce Hornsby had dibs on the Noisemakers…
CD Review: The Suede Brothers
This hard-rock trio puts on one of the area’s best live shows, and on their third album, they’ve finally captured that powerful sound in the studio. Relentlessly heavy, the songs reflect the band’s boundless energy: The opening “Coos Bay Boogie” boasts wailing voices and sludgy guitars that pound with intensity, while Dylan Francis’ sneering vocals…
Get Out!
Thursday | 03</b? Apollo’s Fire Mysteries Sacred & Profane When we tally up this region’s cultural assets, Apollo’s Fire is always near the top of our list. Whether the baroque orchestra is performing Acadian reels at a country estate or Handel’s Messiah in a cathedral, the players, under the direction of the ever-animated Jeannette Sorrell,…
Way Out West
There’s a scene in the animated movie Rango where the main character, a chameleon voiced by Johnny Depp, leads a posse into the desert to track down the water that’s so crucial to their survival. They stumble across the old bones of a creature that didn’t make it out of the blistering hot wasteland. “Circle…
CD Review: Lykke Li
Lykke Li is Swedish pop’s Santigold to Robyn’s M.I.A. Robyn has the ideas and bares her heart, soul, and brains: Li is a consistent but more roughly defined artist along for the ride whose vision for her darker and moodier second album doesn’t get much deeper than its song titles. Producer Bjorn Yttling (of Peter…
On View This Week
Man of the Cloth A designer goes Beyond Fashion in Kent State’s new exhibitionFor award-winning fiber artist and designer Vincent Quevedo, clothing can be an expressive endeavor on par with studio arts. “My body of work is a unique blend of ideas and materials reflecting contemporary culture and my translations of it, relative to the…
CD Review: Lucinda Williams
Death strolls through Lucinda Williams’ 10th album like the chess-playing figure in The Seventh Seal. Even when it’s not looming heavily over the proceedings, like the suicide that triggers “Seeing Black” or the dead husband and father who narrates “Soldier’s Song,” there’s a mournful quality that drives almost every minute of Blessed’s hour. Even the…
At the Arthouse
The Tempest Director Julie Taymor puts Shakespeare’s final play in a blender, gender-switches the main character, and serves up a visually arresting story of struggle and redemption. By making the protagonist a woman, this Tempest becomes a treatise on feminism. But the magic at the center of it all benefits from Taymor’s experience in the…
CD Review: DeVotchKa
You probably first heard DeVotchKa in Little Miss Sunshine. In the three years since their last album, frontman Nick Urata has sharpened his Denver quartet to the point where they sound like a multiculti Arcade Fire, with accordion, violins, a sousaphone, and even a seven-kid children’s choir filling in the spaces. 100 Lovers is the…
Bites: Crop Comes to Whiskey Island
The best part of Whiskey Island has never been the food at Sunset Grille. That will change this summer when Steve and Jackie Schimoler, owners of Crop Bistro, take over the food operations at the popular summer destination. Kicking off at the annual Cinco de Mayo party, Cropicana will feature Crop’s signature creative foods, reworked…
Meet the DJ
Rekha Rocks the B-SideBorn in London but raised in New York City, DJ Rekha is pretty much responsible for the success of bhangra — a South Asian-flavored fusion of folk, pop, and hip-hop — in the States. Since 1997, she’s hosted the hugely popular Basement Bhangra club nights every month in N.Y.C. “The best sets…
New Thai in Town
Pad Thai once was considered an exotic dish around these parts. Today, it’s practically an inalienable right, along with easy access to the restaurants that prepare it. Over the past few years, diners have watched as the ubiquitous corner Chinese takeout has been swapped out for more fashionable Thai outposts. Wonton soup has given way…
On Stage This Week
Art vs. Everything Asher Lev Explores the Cost of Being YourselfWhere does a young artist draw the line between his family’s expectations and the need to fulfill his inner genius? When does self-expression trump religious tradition? That’s the territory explored in My Name Is Asher Lev, the story of a young Hasidic Jew struggling to…
Excessive Force
From the picture window in the front room, Joseph Montelon could see them approaching across the lawn. He had been on the couch, soaking up a quiet moment on the tag end of an August afternoon. His wife was out on errands, his four-year-old daughter napping in back. Outside, the retreating sun tossed long shadows…
Concert Calendar
Akron/Family Akron/Family let their freak flag fly on their new album, Akron/Family II: The Cosmic Birth and Journey of Shinju TNT, which is actually their fifth studio record. It’s full of psychedelic guitar riffs, gentle ambient washes, and chants about magic forests. The bearded trio (who live in Oregon and New York) say the album…
Home Movies
127 Hours (Twentieth Century Fox) Danny Boyle’s terrific movie got tons of buzz because of a scene where the main character (played by James Franco, who spends most of the time onscreen alone) cuts off his arm with a pocketknife. Sure, it’s grisly (what did you expect from the director of 28 Days Later …?.…
Drink of the Week
When it comes to fueling Mardi Gras festivities, New Orleans’ go-to drink is the Hurricane. Made famous by the French Quarter watering hole Pat O’Brien’s, the fruity rum concoction was developed to liquidate a surplus of booze during World War II and earned its name for the shape of the glass in which it’s famously…
