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The Cleveland Browns are in the middle of a 28-hour “radiothon” over on ESPN850 WKNR, and they’re auctioning some pretty unique/silly/fantastic “exclusive experiences” to raise money for the Cleveland Browns Foundation. You should check out their twitter feed or head on over the auction’s biddingforgood.com page, but auction supports a really good cause:

All proceeds will benefit The Cleveland Browns Foundation in their mission to promote education and youth development across the Greater Cleveland area. The Cleveland Browns Foundation supports organizations such as United Way, Cleveland Metropolitan School District, Achievement Centers for Children, The Centers for Families and Children, Ginn Academy, College Now of Greater Cleveland and Shoes and Clothes for Kids.

They’ve got a whole bunch of things you can bid on, including some that will rake in a significant chunk of change when the bidding stops. You’ve got until 1 p.m. tomorrow to beat the current leading bids, so get on it.

Let’s highlight some of the auctions, like the top six items with the highest bids (so far):

1. Current bid: $5,600. Item: “Super Bowl tickets.” Two tickets February’s Super Bowl in Phoenix and a hotel room for three nights (does not include airfare).

2. Current bid: $3,400. Item: “Travel With the Team.” A trip for two on the Browns chartered flight for the Dec. 21 game against the Carolina Panthers, a hotel room and two tickets to the game.

3. Current bid: $3,000. Item: “Daytona 500 Experience.” Two tickets and two pit passes for the 2014 Daytona 500.

4. Current bid: $2,100. Item: “Fly With Browns President Alec Scheiner for a Browns Away Game.” A flight for two for the Nov. 30 game against the Buffalo Bills with team’s president, a hotel room and tickets.

5. (tie) Current bid: $2,000. Item: “Spend Pre-Game with GM Ray Farmer.” Two people can spend the night in the team hotel prior to the home game agains the Ravens on Sept. 21, and then spend the pre-game with Ray Farmer on the sidelines.

5. (tie) Current bid: $2,000. Item: “Dinner at your home prepared by Celebrity Chef Chris Hodgson.” A six-course meal for you and nine guests at your house.

Here are some other cool or interesting things to bid on:

-Current bid: $1,628. Item: “Host a Movie Night at FirstEnergy Stadium.”

-Current bid: $1,500. Item: “Charter Fishing Trip with Joe Thomas.”

-Current bid: $700. Item: “Watch a Monday Night Football Game with Donte Whitner.” You and three guests can watch a MNF game with the Cleveland defensive back.

-Current bid: $1,900. Item: “Attend a Cavs Game with Joe Haden.” For two people to sit in the owner’s box with the star cornerback during the Oct. 17 game against the Dallas Mavericks

The item getting the most buzz online, however, allows the winner to chow down with the team’s biggest eaters: the massive guys on the offensive line (“All You Can Eat with Alex Mack and the O-Line“). It’s currently at $500, and it sounds like a pretty awesome time: “You and three guests will eat like the players do. Guests will join Pro Bowl center Alex Mack and members of the Browns offensive line, including Mitchell Schwartz, Joel Bitonio and John Greco, for a buffet at the Browns Berea Training Facility.” It’s for four people lasts an hour; the all-you-can-eat is intense enough for the Browns to require you to sign waivers before digging in.

Go over to the auction site and support a good cause.

This article appears in Sep 3-9, 2014.

Doug Brown is a staff writer at Scene with a passion for public records laws and investigative reporting. A native of Ann Arbor, Mich., he has an M.A. in journalism from the Kent State University School of Journalism and Mass Communication and a B.A. in political science from Hiram College. Prior to joining Scene, Doug was a contributing writer for Deadspin.com, reporting behind-the-scenes stories about college sports through public records and developing sources. Doug's work as an enterprise reporter for the Daily Kent Stater was recognized by the Cleveland Press Club (2013 Ohio Excellence in Journalism Awards), Society of Professional Journalists (regional and national Mark of Excellence Awards), and the Associated Collegiate Press. He spent the summer of 2012 working for the Metro desk of the Cleveland Plain Dealer and spent previous summers working for Outside Bozeman Magazine and Crain's Detroit Business. His website is dougbrown8.com.

8 replies on “All-You-Can-Eat With The O-Line Or Super Bowl Tickets: All the Awesome Things In The Cleveland Browns Charity Auction”

  2. Is there an auction for hanging out an hour or so AFTER the All-You-Can-Eat Buffet? I would pay at least 2 grand to be permitted to observer and reek the toilet bowl stew that event creates. I would pay 3 grand if they all deposited their princely offerings In to the same unflushed and over flowing bowl.
    REEK THY STEW!

  3. Imagining the mass of smelly, filthy discharge that will result following the All-You-Can-Eat Buffet makes my pants moist; real moist. I would pay a low 5 figure sum to Ice Bucket Challenge that shit. In turn helping all sorts of great Cleveland causes. I am all about helping.
    That’s what we in the industry call a win. win. win. scenario.
    Contact me, I am seriously into this.

  4. the stench, the horrible rotten fetorous funk! Oh how I want that malodor filling my copious nasal cavity. Crank that deuce you filthy animals. I SAID CRANK IT, BITCHES!

  5. Is it possible to use all the accumulated deuce to put into a bucket and donate to Drew Carey so he can dump it on those f***ers who dumped their deuce on that retarded kid?

  6. Love the Browns. Especially the Browns that are dark and gooey with a crimson hue and have the consistency of wet plaster and the stench of rotten eggs, warm beer and skunk ass. Fifty bucks to any bum that lets me watch him discharge from his chafed farthole. See my ad on Craigslist under w4mm “want to watch you deuce”

  8. ugh. this place is fucked. bunch of weirdos in this town. And I thought Buffalo sucked. Here we get the same winter, a dog-shit football team and a load of fuckers who like to play with human feces. No wonder they get the honor of the Cleveland Steamer. This place is like a giant set for scheize film

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