Tuesday’s loss to the Boston Celtics proved that it’s almost impossible to beat a team full of aliens, one tall, the other old. They intimidate, swarm, and always seem poised to kidnap Moondog, put him in a cryogenic freezing chamber, and keep him there for a decade alongside a collection of dairy cows.
We watched in horror as Tall Alien gushed us for 28 points, 8 rebounds, 3 assists and 2 steals. He also inserted some sort mind control device into Lebron, causing him to play like the illegitimate child of Buck Williams and Toni Kucoch. …
This article appears in May 7-13, 2008.