Shhh. Dont tell anyone I left a sponge in you. Or that Im wearing lipstick.

  • “Shhh. Don’t tell anyone I left a sponge in you. Or that I’m wearing lipstick.”

A report by HealthGrades claims Cleveland has the third-safest hospitals in the country.

The Twin Cities took first; Wichita was second.

What does this mean? One of the factors HealthGrades used in the study was the number of “foreign objects left in the body after surgery,” so apparently hospitals in Cleveland are pretty good at removing sponges and instruments from your torso before sewing you back up, but not as good as Wichita and the Twin Cities.

The full report can be found here.

This article appears in Mar 9-15, 2011.

Vince Grzegorek has been with Scene since 2007 and editor-in-chief since 2012. He previously worked at Discount Drug Mart and Texas Roadhouse.