In keeping with an irritating tradition of governors and mayors everywhere, Ohio Governor Ted Strickland initiated a “friendly wager” with Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco as Ohio State and Louisiana State prepare for the national championship Monday.
The bet, cravenly designed to get a mention during that requisite “cute segment” on nightly newscasts, has Strickland sending a sampling of Ohio wines should the Buckeyes tank. Blanco, in turn, will send something called a “king cake decorated in traditional Mardi Gras colors” if LSU plays like it did against Arkansas.
But a secret side bet uncovered by C-Notes reveals that both governors have much more riding on the game. According to our investigation, Strickland will also be able to send Blanco the excess gunshot victims stacked near the dumpster behind the Cuyahoga County Coroner’s office in the event of an Ohio State victory. Strickland tried to include Jimmy Dimora in the shipment, but Blanco balked, pleading that it would dangerously imperil Louisiana’s donut supply.
With an LSU win, Blanco will ship to Ohio the entire population of the Lower 9th Ward and Aaron Neville’s mole. — Pete Kotz
This article appears in Jan 2-8, 2008.