Monday’s SportsCenter features a day in the life of Jeff Garcia, the former quarterback of the 49ers, Browns, Lions, and Eagles, current quarterback of the Buccaneers, and the future back-up quarterback of a co-ed flag team in Gary, Indiana.
The piece starts on a golf course with Garcia and his really average-looking wife, Carmella DeCesare. The former Playmate and Cleveland native inexplicably spends the piece’s opening minutes smooching her husband and not kicking people in the face. Weird.
Garcia then heads to a new high school in his hometown of Gilroy, California. That’s when the hilarity ensues. Garcia spots a kid wearing No. 5 Browns jersey and says, apparently seriously, “That’s a classic jersey right there.” The kid’s face is blank; I’d like to say he understood how utterly ridiculous the statement was, but the kid was like 10.
But Garcia goes on: “That’s a collector’s item,” he adds. “You can’t find those anymore.”
Huh? Apparently Garcia thinks every one of his jerseys was sold out during the 47 minutes he was in Cleveland. And apparently he thinks everyone who had the misfortune of buying one is holding onto it, just in case they ever see Carmella getting drunk in a bar and want to try the old Pretend You’re an Aging Quarterback Move.
Shockingly, this is not the case. The jerseys are all over eBay, and most of the “Clearance” section of the Browns’ online team shop is devoted to Garcia apparel (along with a Garcia bobble head [$3] and a lone Trent Dilfer jersey). The old No. 5’s are such hot collector items that they’re marked down 87 percent, to a whopping $10.
I’m thinking about buying one. I need to wash my car weekend, and I’m all out of rags. – Joe P. Tone
This article appears in Jun 27 – Jul 3, 2007.
Sounds like you have a problem with Garcia, or is it that the Browns are a lousy team no matter who they get to right the eternally sinking ship.
Do you honestly think Garcia believes that those jerseys are collectors’ items? Get a brain or a sense of humor.
Whether you want to believe it or not, Garcia has the 11th all time career passer rating. He is ahead of both Farve and McNabb even after playing for the likes of Cleveland and Detroit.
Since Garcia left Cleveland, how many times have they been to the playoffs? He’s been there, but not Cleveland.
Wah, Wah, Wah
Big Ron Kretz… find me a 10 year veteran QB who HASN’T made the playoffs. Great statistical analysis.
Actually defending Jeff Garcia?
How sad your life must be.
Not Not, I’ll ignore you because I don’t like picking on someone who can’t come up with an original thought or stutters.
Not Ron Kretz, What’s your point?
Playoff berths fit the hemorrhoid principle…”Sooner or later every asshole gets one”?
What’s your point?
Garcia is good because he has stayed in the league so long? Look up the careers of Ryan Leaf or Jim Druckenmiller.
You have to have a point. I may have not agreed with Joe P. Tone, but at least he had a point.
Have a good rest of the summer fellas. I have to get on a plane.