Eternal graditude to The Onion for this.

  • Eternal graditude to The Onion for this.

Some of you write us letters, and we appreciate you. But there are others who don’t who we’d like to hear from. For example…

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Dear Scene:

I recently made a purchase of a local Cleveland product, and while I support the city, its institutions and organizations, it turns out that I have changed my mind. Thankfully, I believe I’m still within the time limit to make a return. The problem is, I seem to have misplaced the receipt. It was for $1 billion or so, and it was last seen near Berea. If found, please let me know.

Jimmy Haslam

Knoxville, Tennessee

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Dear Scene:

Goallllllllllllllllllllllll! I’m celebrating this moment of Aston Villa triumph by throwing confetti in the air from my perch at Villa Park. How convenient that Pinterest showed me an easy way to make confetti from leftover receipts, just this past Sunday afternoon around 4 p.m. Smashing!

Randy Lerner

England

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This article appears in Oct 3-9, 2012.

Vince Grzegorek has been with Scene since 2007 and editor-in-chief since 2012. He previously worked at Discount Drug Mart and Texas Roadhouse.

One reply on “Letters We’d Like to Get”

  1. These “letters” are funny one time…maybe two weeks, tops. How long are you going to continue with this lame, trite crap before you bring back REAL letters from REAL people. Or aren’t Clevelanders intelligent enough for you guys? You folks are trying too hard for a cheap, easy laugh.. It’s already getting stale. This sort of humor was funny in my high school rag. That was a long time ago. Most SCENE readers are already out of high school. Some have even gone to college. Wise up!

    Chuckles the Clown

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