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Having owned a busted clunker with no air conditioning and windows that didn’t roll down, we understand the problem of farting in the car during the summer, especially if there’s a passenger along for the ride, but never have we thought to stop the car and exit in the middle of traffic because of some gas.

Then again, we’ve never had to tell cops that we couldn’t fart because “it hurt too much.”

From Twinsburg Patch, the best police blotter item you’ll read all week:

Twinsburg police got a call recently when a man driving on Darrow Road stopped in the middle of the road, got out and yelled “I have to fart” while running around his car.

He then got back in a drove off. Police found him parked at the water tower.

It was there he explained he couldn’t fart because “it hurt too much.” Because of some psychiatric history issues, he was taken to a hospital where, presumably, doctors asked just what the hell he had been eating.

This article appears in Jul 6-12, 2011.

Vince Grzegorek has been with Scene since 2007 and editor-in-chief since 2012. He previously worked at Discount Drug Mart and Texas Roadhouse.

7 replies on “Man Stops Traffic Because He Has to Fart”

  1. it’s 90 out, no a/c and his windows don’t roll down? the fart would be an appreciated breeze.

  2. So wait, he got out of his car and ran because it hurt too much when he farted? So running around the car helps him NOT to fart? I would think standing still and upright while squeezing your ass-cheek muscles together would have been the better attempt. Running would have made it more difficult to control a fart. Running would have merely produced a stacatto effect. But then, other than “putting a cork in it”, you really can’t stop a fart.

  3. In this day and age with politicians gone amok, cheating in schools & all manner of goofy goings on … this is not surprising. These days it is unwise to ‘shake hands on a deal’. So farting is risky. Trusting your own butt with a fart is likely to leave brown stains in your shorts … best to call your doctor after 4 hours of pain … In this guy’s case, a call to 911 would have at least got the guy his 15 minutes of fame.

  4. hey- he has pschy problems- – it is unfortunate that symptoms manifest themsleves in this way- but they do- he probably did not take his meds- the stigma of mental illness and it being a joke has got to stop- mental illness is just like any other chronic disease- really- ok – it is funny- and maybe he can laugh at himself one day but come on people give him a break!-if a cancer patient is so doped up with morphine that they get up out of bed and walk the streets yelling “i have to ,,,, whatever” would that be newsworthy- no – no one would report it b/c they want to preserve that person’s dignity- samething here- …just saying…

  5. hey that gives me an idea for a prank. No matter if its on the middle of I 90, 80, 79, 86, 271, 71, 190, QEW (Canada), 401 (Canada), The middle of business fast food strips during rush hour, on a regular residential street, an alley, Instead of Chinese fire drill, Its Chinese toilet, which are potholes.

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