Ohio barely beat out Delaware and Florida to land in 48th place, and according to the blog, bringing LeBron home only confirmed that we’re “the Florida of the North.” Which can’t be true, because Ohio at least manages to squeeze out some integrity every now and then.
That’s all the list bothered to say about us, so they probably didn’t do much research. Their ranking took into account each state’s contributions to America, including historical inventions and influential people. Ohio has those in spades.
Seven presidents have been born in this state, which is more than any other state in the nation. Rock and roll started here, hence the Hall of Fame that you’ve probably heard of. We’re the birthplace of aviation, and also of more astronauts than any other state — including John Glenn and Neil Armstrong. The Wendy’s Baconator also originated here.
We might be closer to Florida than we think, because there’s enough to see and do in this state to qualify it as a legitimate tourist destination. We’ve got both Cedar Point and King’s Island. The Columbus Zoo is one of the best zoos in the entire country (and, more locally, the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo isn’t too shabby, either).
And did you know that, according to Ohio law, you can’t get arrested on any Sunday or the 4th of July? Don’t test this, by the way.
Of course, we’re trying to offer a civilized rebuttal here, but if you’re an OSU fan, break out your officially licensed scarlet-and-grey torches and pitchforks. Michigan landed in the No. 1 spot.
Michigan earned its high ranking partly because of its wealth of craft beer, but here in Ohio you can hop from Great Lakes to Fat Heads to countless other breweries without even leaving Cleveland. There’s certainly enough alcohol available to drown out any other grievances with our state.
At least the writers at Thrillist know to expect some heated arguments, so hop on over to the comment section at the end of their article and have at it. Come on, we should’ve at least beaten the Dakotas.
This article appears in Jul 1-7, 2015.
Lists used to be the exclusive purview of lazy sports media types who were on deadline and numbingly staring at blank pages that should have been filled with notes. Former MLB prankster Jay Johnstone devoted a chapter in his hilarious book “Temporary Insanity” on compiling a bunch of stuff (“Jay Johnstone’s All-Crazy Team And List Of Bests”).
the guy put michigan #1, i’m pretty sure he has no idea what he’s talking about
Are you kidding! Ohio, besides it’s attractions (like Cedar Point, etc.) is a horrible state to live in. Jobs are slowly disappearing, more and more corruption every day, guns, drugs violence…the list goes on. Every morning you wake up unsure if it safe to be outside, certainly can’t let kids play outside alone, and by dark you are so uncomfortable outside in your own yard in fear of gunshots or dealing with crackheads begging you for a dollar. MISERABLE! That is about the only word that really sums up the state of Ohio.
Chrissy, don’t quit your day job…satirical stand-up comedy is not your thing…
Perhaps you just need a new Ohio joke book. Yours is sadly out of date. And there are worse places than here. Try Michigan, for starters.
Lists? Lists? Whether they’re online or in print media (Top Ten Beaches With Used Needles and Used Rubbers, Twenty Best Retirement Cities For Obnoxious Rich A-Holes, Top Fifteen Dumbest Lists of All Time,)…all lists have one thing in common…they’re a waste of space and mostly lame bullshit, pulled from the writer’s posterior orifice.
Chuckles The Clown
Chrissy Lowe : obviously you have little or no idea of life in Ohio. You ASS-u-me an awful lot with limited and VERY prejudiced information. The ambiguous and “hating” comments tell me (and many others) that all you are interested in is to say as many disgustingly hateful things with little or no knowledge whatsoever. Your narrow and limited rant could be said about parts of any state—-or in the whole wide world. I feel very sorry for you because your negative personality must mean you find no joy or happiness in life in general.
Hahahahah! Baconator?
Don’t site breweries when you’re next to Michigan. We’ve got the best beer. Stay classy Ohio!
Chrissy Lowe maybe you should drive outside of the getto and see more of Ohio. I certainly do not have crackheads begging me or hearing gun shots and I work downtown. There are tons to do and tons of safe and beaitiful places in Ohio and right in Cleveland. Open your eyes and stop being so negative. If you dont like Ohio move out! we dont need people like you living in Ohio
What breweries in Michigan?
Gettin hi between the oh’S
Getting hi between the OH’s
MICHIGAN? Guess the never been to Detroit or Flint? Half that state looks like a bombed out warzone. Geez..
(waiving his bullshit card)…Ohio worse than Michigan and New Jersey??
Oh and where the hell does that Chrissy Lowe chick live? On Lee and Harvard??
There are WAY worse states than Ohio….We just get to be the target of the day…
I was born and raised in Cincinnati, my fiance is from Cleveland, and we’ve built our life together in Columbus. We wouldn’t have it any other way. Let that list say what it will. Ohio is a great place for a lot of reasons. Also, Cincinnati is hosting the MLB All-Star Game this year, we have the football hall of fame, and more microbreweries than you can shake a stick at! (Columbus IPA and Rhinegeist are a few of my favorites!) I love Ohio. Nobody can ever convince me otherwise.
Ohio is an amazing state, and normally the lazy BS writers that come up with these lists have clear biases for or against certain states. I’m guessing the author is a sad little Wolverines fan that doesn’t appreciate getting pounded into the dirt while watching us celebrate every year.
Maybe they got high off the fumes coming from the city of Detroit as it burns.
Born an raised columbus ohio. I’ve been many places, but I always come back. I say I’m never coming back, an yet I do. If columbus had a ocean I’d never leave. Proud to say columbus is my home. Go buckeyes
Ohio, yeah the weather sucks it’s hot in the summer cold af in the winter.Has a serious Herion Problem, but are so against medical marijuana for some odd reason. It’s boring maybe if you live in the city it might be more fun but in corn and soybean country there’s nothing productive to do. They stop selling beer at stores at 1AM. Oh yeah most of the cops are dicks for no reason. There’s not that many good jobs, but there seems to be a lot of rich people which doesn’t make a whole lot sense, old money I guess?? There’s something just off about some areas like they’re stuck in time but not in a good way. Some of the people are too.
I’ve lived in Ohio my whole life and sure the winter is cold af and the summers are humid. There also aren’t may big attractions and there is a ton of farming but i wouldn’t want to live anywhere else or have grown up anywhere else bc i love it here and never want to leave. It’s my forever home. Go Buckeyes!!
He probably just lives in Michigan and is just salty towards Ohio because of sports. Hes probably never been here either, or half of these states for that matter. Its not accurate, just a dumb opinion
Ohio fucking blows. The baconator is NOTHING to be proud of. Planes started here and we have more astronauts because people were and still are clearly going to extreme lengths to leave. You’re either recovering from allergies or on your way to them, people are assholess and classify your worth by what cliques you roll with (be it by city college business sports team or district) genuinely nice people are seen as freaks of nature, and we havent had any progress in ages. Our only arguable accomplishment are the ability to come up with at least 3 half baked ideas a year that cost the state thousands of dollars and the fact that most of the celebrities that were able to escape are wildly successful. You HAVE to be because this place is a fucking tarpit.
Ohio is the worst fucking place to be. All the positive posts are from Ohio natives. News flash if you cant attract new settlers to your state or get people to agree with you from out of state then your opinion doesnt change that. Lol if your not white, bland, boring, and love buckeyes then your not welcome. Everyone has a evil grin stuck on their face everyone is cliques up. Boring lifestyles, no ambition, no style, no culture. Its extremely segregated you have white black n mixed folks and a sprinkle of Asians n Muslims here n there. Everyone is pro military. The weather sucks ass. It rains damn near every fucking day year round. The drivers tail gate you and flip you off. Everyone is one sided. Your either for Trump or your not welcome here. The potholes are ridiculous. And if you dont like blue collar work then theres no point coming here. The kids here are more raggedy then the adults. Theres no come to Ohio for this restaurant or attraction. You can find all the crap here in any other state. Like seriously what do you like about Ohio. Lol also new people are starred down tremendously. Try being less ignorant or more intellectual. Didnt your parents teach you not to stare. But if your ambitious and not from a small town dont one here ever. Its dead.
Jake123, I completely agree! Ohio is the worst state I have ever lived in. It is flat out depressing and even people with a bit of money live low end lives and think that living in a $250,00 house is the lap of luxury. Everyone is so rude and the bitterness of the women especially is sadly apparent. The weather is terrible being too hot and humid in the Summer and Winter is hell on earth. Spring and Fall pass in the blink of an eye. Ohioans are born liars whose lives are steeped in ignorance. They know very little about most things, even those with college degrees are not capable of discussing intellectual topics with any degree of competence. What bothered me most was the lack of cohesion and support of the communities. Everyone was at everyone else’s throats and basically Ohioans are anti social and hide out in their homes with family members and prefer to see “friends” rarely. Definitely no style or culture! Creativity is also a rarity in Ohio. Their antagonistic mind set is not limited to people from elsewhere as they all seem to hate each other as well. Ohio is truly hell on earth.
Evie176 Not exactly “Hell on Earth.” Ohio is actually kind of in the middle of the whole United States and isn’t particularly bad. I mean, Cedar Point is horrible now ever since they brought the “Gold Pass,” where now the entire park is crowded and they even had to make a “Fast Pass Plus” because even the regular Fast Pass lanes are packed with people. It takes more than just one hour to get on at least one roller coaster, and the majority of the staff are giving up and don’t tell us the wait of how long it takes to fix the roller coaster you’ve been standing around for because then they could just relax and waste their time. My sister and I even waited for the Top Thrill Dragster for an hour and then they had to shut it down for the entirety of the day. We also had to wait to ride the Valravn for three hours straight! Last year, I saw a whole bunch of posters about “Human Trafficking” in Cedar Point, and since King’s Island is owned by the same company that owns Cedar Point (which is Cedar Fair), the same thing is probably going to occur with that park and it’s quite evident that they’re going to sell the amusement park(s) soon to another company. And yes, the weather does suck quite a bit, but it’s tolerant. There’s also a lot of nice people, and the only rudeness I’ve received is from kids and teenagers that get suspended for getting caught vaping in schools, showing nudes to horny boys, and they’re also twerking on Tik Tok or whatever.
Also, the whole “no culture, no style” thing may lead up to creativity, and maybe Ohio just wants to be plain? Do we exactly HAVE to be special and fun for those who visit Ohio? Not everywhere is going to be sprinkled with amusement ‘n amazement, of course. And Jake123, Jesus. Who’s gonna run over and push the people who aren’t “white, bland, boring” and those who don’t like the “Buckeyes?” I’m not particularly a fan of sports, but I like the candy buckeyes. So, sure, I’m pale as heck, but I don’t see myself as “bland or boring.” Maybe I do to others, I’m not sure. I do want to be a writer when I grow up, however, and I believe I have a lot of creativity, such as making my own worlds, my own creatures, my protagonists and antagonists, and I even developed a language that I have yet to learn how to pronounce the words of it. There’s also a whole lot of mixed folks here, and many people where I live seem to get along with them.
But, it’s weird that people are actually careless and/or horrible drivers here. I mean, I heard that three kids on a single weekend got ran over by a car, but luckily didn’t suffer any severe injuries. A whole bunch of kids are breaking their legs, even to the point where one guy stepped in a pothole ON A SOCCER FIELD and snapped their leg where their bone was showing. And they didn’t even fix the pothole afterwards! And before I continue and before you ask, I am a native Ohioan, so yes I do know how it’s like to live here, and so that means I will not include any other states in since I’ve never lived there and experienced what it’s like there. In fact, I’m just some “tween” just explaining (or “ranting,” whatever you’ll like to call it) about the opinions and my opinion of Ohio. But I digress, there are also kids sexually assaulting those who don’t like to reveal their body parts (like me), such as asking them to wear stripper clothes or even just casually asking, “Can you have sex with me?” They even ask in public for nudes, and these are Middle Schoolers we’re talking about here! There are even some girls who claimed to have “several boyfriends” in the past, and we’re not old enough to actually have one. We basically just have a whole bunch of horny assholes, terrible drivers, and “VIPs” here with our amusement parks crumbling to bits, while people who need to let out some steam bomb Ohio with their negative opinions. Yes, we’re definitely far away from being perfect, but Ohio is okay. Hold your weapons before you obliterate Ohio to smithereens, but just appreciate some of the pros it has, even it may have some more cons, apparently to you guys. Thanks for reading this really long comment, and have a nice day. Hopefully, your days get better if you really hate Ohio THIS much. 🙂
@Somelivingperson: Another Ohioan defending his crappy state. It’s not just that the state is so unappealing along with its inhabitants. Ohio is filled with hateful, jealous people who try to tear anyone down that tries to rise above. I got sick and tired of all the nasty comments targeted at anyone who had more money than, was better looking than or had more talent than the average Ohioan. Why is excellence in any form such a crime among your kind? Who cares if you want to be plain and average? That’s no excuse for attacking anyone who is not. Honestly your post was so boring (big surprise!) that I am pretty sure I fell asleep half way through it. Ongoing inane rambling. SNOOOOZE!!!
Ohio is the worst democratic state ever.. all the stupid liberals whp say you have to be for Trump or you’re not welcome, you’re delusional and retarded. Ohio is a democratic state. Stop being a buttfuck and be honest. Thanks to the democrats getting healthcare is a pain in the ass and getting help for anything is worse.
Jake ..sorry to bursr your delusional democratic bubble, but ohio is a democratic state kiddo. And Ahaha. Trump voters welcome you democrats..unlike you who take amusement from attacking people with bike locks and cement filled bottles.. But please humor us on your butthurt political view on Trump hm? Still can’t seem to get over your loss? Oh you poor thing.