At least, that’s the takeaway from the state’s latest batch of stats on our drinking habits. Every year, the state likes to release the dollar amount Ohioans burned on booze, a gentle nudge to us drinking folk. You know that too-early morning after a long stint at the bar, when you wrench your eyes open to the light, head hurting and mouth a sock drawer, pull on your pants, and find in your pocket the bar receipt from the night before, all of your idiotic transgressions nicely summarized in one regrettable and embarrassing number? This is like that, but on a larger, we-the-people-of-the-great-state-of-Ohio level.
Perhaps not surprisingly, thanks to [FILL IN THE BLANK], Ohioans consumed more booze this year than last. According to the Ohio Division of Liquor Control, the state saw $793.7 million in booze sales this year, $40 million more than last year. More embarrassing, though, is what we spent those shekels on: Kamchatka vodka. That’s right, hard earned money down the drain for some screw-top vodka. 401,148 gallons of it. Which is almost 50,000 gallons more than the runner up, Jack Daniels. The rest of the list is just a hop, skip and a page jump away:
This article appears in Jan 18-24, 2012.
Hey! What’s the matter with cheap Vodka? While you uppiddy fuckers are running up big bar tabs and buying hot young women shots with Crown in them, us regular drunks are stuck at home drinking home-made bloody Marys with horse-raddish sauce and V-8 and cheap Vodka. Bud-Ice beer tastes mighty good when you need a powerful sixpack of 24ozers to get through the night so as to get ready for the next day of minimum wage work flipping burgers or helping fucking idiots find what they want at Home Depot.
Just a little tip Kyle- almost all booze is sold in screw top bottles. If the police would cut out the pot busts people wouldn’t have to drink as much. Personally I’m a Korski drinker. What sucker pays a lot of money for flavorless booze? Spend the extra dough on whiskeys- they are all about the aging process.