I would like to respond to “Mutiny in Margaritaville,” by Jared Klaus [August 16]. Mr. Klaus is truly a gifted and colorful writer. Take “. . . preaching escape from the soul-squeezing corset of Middle America. Salvation was the warm sand of the Florida Keys. The Eucharist was a slushy, salt-rimmed margarita.” Now that’s some good stuff! And, when he has his first novel published, I will be right there at the front of the line to buy it.
However, in this particular writing effort, which I understand to be non-fiction as it was listed in Scene under “News” and not as a “Feature,” his omissions and exaggerations were glaring.
Please allow me to set the record straight. As stated in the charter of our national organization, Parrot Heads in Paradise: “The purpose of the organization is to promote the international network of Parrot Head Clubs as a humanitarian group sharing information and social activities for mutual benefit. The organization will engage in activities that are charitable, educational and that promote the general welfare of the community. Parrot Heads in Paradise, Inc., is a not-for-profit corporation, whose purpose is to assist in community and environmental concerns and provide a variety of social activities for people who are interested in the music of Jimmy Buffett and the tropical lifestyle he personifies.”
In 2005, Parrot Head Clubs collectively raised for and/or donated to charitable organizations a staggering $2,705,115. Additionally, chapters worldwide donated more than 663,543 man-hours to philanthropic and environmental activities. Yes, Mr. Klaus, these old Parrot Heads don’t just throw money at causes — we walk the walk. And, there are the efforts which are not measured by dollars or man-hours:
· The tons of canned goods collected and donated to local food banks across the country;
· The hundreds of thousands of pop tops collected for and turned into money by Ronald McDonald Houses throughout the land;
· The thousands of new toys collected and donated to Toys for Tots to provide Christmas for underprivileged children who otherwise would have nothing;
· The thousands of critical items donated to local animal shelters — everything from food and blankets to old newspapers and leashes;
· The hundreds of gallons of blood and plasma donated to save countless lives across this great nation; and
· The hundreds and hundreds of “care packages” sent to our soldiers in Iraq.
A few of the fund raising efforts of the Northcoast Parrot Head Club this year include Pedal to the Point for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society; Relay for Life for the American Cancer Society; Bowling for Kids in support of Big Brothers Big Sisters; and selling raffle tickets to raise money for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. The very night that Klaus joined our meeting at Put-in-Bay Lakewood, I told him of a fellow club member who had recently lost part of her home in the floods in Mentor. In 10 minutes we raised a substantial amount of cash to give her a lift.
Therefore Jared, I am not criticizing your writing ability — it’s phenomenal. I am questioning your ethics and skills as a reporter. You have many years in front of you to sort out what’s important in life, as this ancient Parrot Head has done. I’ve chosen to affiliate myself with an organization that strives to make a difference in the lives of those less fortunate and perhaps leave the world a better place than I found it. Those things are far more important to me than a cold margarita or a high-priced concert ticket.
Parrot Heads are known as Angels in Tropical shirts that party with a purpose. And I am very proud to be one of them.
Patty Collins
Northcoast Parrot Head Club
Berea
Convention Sweepstakes
Let’s market Cleveland to all those gay Republicans!
Ohio’s Largest Shrinking Newspaper reports that Cleveland is among four cities in the running to host the next Republican National Convention. One of the issues that will be taken into consideration is local attractions.
The Plain Dealer lists the Rock Hall, Playhouse Square, the Warehouse District, East Fourth Street, and Cedar Point. But it left something out — the attraction that is sure to put Cleveland over the top. As reported in Scene, Cleveland will soon be home to the world’s finest gay bathhouse.
Between National GOP Chairman Ken Mehlman; the White House’s favorite gay male prostitute, Jeff Gannon; 12-term Congressman David Dreier; ineligible bachelor Matt Drudge; Rush Limbaugh, who can’t maintain a relationship with a member of the opposite sex; Karl Rove, who has never been seen with a woman; Ann Coulter, who has an Adam’s apple; Michael Savage, who apparently took his name from a gay porn star; and the tens of millions of Republicans who protest too much when it comes to gay issues, Cleveland should be a shoo-in — or should I say a swish-in?
Jeff Fritz
Lakewood
Tribe Fan Declares Free Agency
He’s pissed — and he’s available to root for your team.
I can’t take it any more. The Indians (or should I say their owners?) have destroyed another summer. The only Indians going home are their fans after another loss.
This team has been re-built more than Joan Rivers’ face and I for one don’t have the patience to see how this present “surgery” on the team turns out. I’m tired of waiting for the bandages to come off.
I realize the trading deadline has expired, but I can still exercise my option. I am declaring myself a Free Agent Fan. I want a new team to support. The team that I choose (or chooses me) should be competitive, fun and, above all, dedicated.
The White Sox come to mind. You gotta love Ozzie. Detroit? Why not? From worst to first — plus, if they win the Series, it’s conceivable the fans will burn Detroit to the ground. Maybe the Reds — enough of the DH. Junior has the purest swing in the game. Maybe even the Yankees. I’d like to see if Joe Tore can smile if they win.
Anyone out there willing to take me up on my offer? I’m dying to get back in the game.
Scott Monachino
Lakewood
Open Letter to the Kiwanis
I am writing to ask why the Kiwanis in Cleveland are trying to steal our Oktoberfest from the German community. As a long-standing member of numerous German groups here in Cleveland, I am appalled that the Kiwanis is usurping and exploiting the name “Oktoberfest” when the German community is being excluded from participating in any meaningful way. The fact that the Stadtverband, the umbrella organization for all of the many Cleveland-area German groups, was told it could have “an exhibit table for free” is an intolerable insult to all German-speaking people here in Cleveland.
Oktoberfest is our community’s primary source of generating revenue and helps us throughout the year in terms of financial viability. If the Kiwanis steal this, where does that leave us? I ask you, would it be proper for the German community to take over the Hungarian Festival, or if the Polish took over the Irish Festival? The answer is an emphatic NO!
Taking the next step in our inductive logic, why is it acceptable to have the Kiwanis assume control over an obviously German-oriented annual event? Two of the ideals of the Kiwanis — to encourage the Golden Rule in all human relationships and to promote higher social, business, and professional standards — are certainly not being pursued in this instance.
While I definitely support the Kiwanis’ goal of increasing righteousness, justice, patriotism, and goodwill as a sound means of building strong communities, I fail to see where the theft of a major event from the German community is increasing justice or righteousness. In fact, it only serves to weaken our community. Is this the goal of the Cleveland Kiwanis?
Were it not for the leadership of Germans during the Revolutionary War and the contribution of German immigrants throughout our nation’s history, we most likely would not even be a nation. You, this country, and I owe a lot to the sacrifices made by the German-speaking peoples.
Let’s be honest: You and I know that the Germans have been victimized for many decades and continue to be misrepresented and exploited. Is this the reason why the Kiwanis have no compunction against exploiting the Germans again for the financial gain of your own group? You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Paul Holt
DANK President
Dino’s Plea: Why aren’t the hair bands coming to Cleveland?
I recently found out that there are a lot of ’80s hair/rock bands and artists of today playing in Burgettstown, PA. All the way until December! Korn, George Thorogood, Aerosmith with Motley Crue, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, Twisted Sister, Roger Waters and many others. Many of these artists are not coming to Cleveland. Why not? Why don’t the concert venues go out and get these artists to play here? We are the rock and roll capital still, right?
Dino Mancini
Alliance
This article appears in Sep 6-12, 2006.
