Wilma Smith offers her deepest gratitude to her plastic surgeon.

Drew Carey’s groveling plea to Hollywood execs: Please don’t make me give away refrigerators anymore!

Dennis Kucinich quivers before his one true love, Dennis Kucinich.

Kellen Winslow Jr. pens a love letter to himself.

The object of Mike Trivisonno’s desire: Donuts.

Jimmy Dimora shows affection for his master, Sam Miller.

Council President Martin Sweeney: “You want me, Emily Lipovan. You want me bad.”

This article appears in Feb 13-19, 2008.

Scene's award-winning newsroom oftentimes collaborates on articles and projects. Stories under this byline are group efforts.