
Update II: Worry not, baseball fans, Northeast Ohioans, and Americans, the cherished and recently missing head of Stomper, the Lake Erie Crushers mascot, has been returned to the team. It was found under a tarp outside the stadium. All things are now right with the world. (Fox 8)
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This article appears in Sep 21-27, 2011.

Somewhere, most likely near an elementary school, a bear is driving a rusty van containing candy bars and bicycles.