Update: NewsNet5 has the picture of the saucy substitute and one other important detail: the vodka was Grey Goose. How much are we paying subs these days? (NewsNet5)
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Can you blame her? Well, we guess you can.
According to Westlake Sun News, 57-year-old substitute teacher Anne Keller hit the bottle during a school day last week. Her libation of choice: vodka. Odorless, it’s a wise move if you hope to skate by in your sub duties — showing movies, taking attendance, etc. — while tipping toward blotto, but it’s all for naught if you pass out in an office and miss a class.
Which is exactly what happened with Keller. It was around noon when school officials noticed she wasn’t in class. After a short search, they found her asleep with an open bottle of vodka. Superintendent Dan Keener told the paper, “Obviously this individual is struggling with some issues and it wasn’t appropriate for her to be in the school. We ended up handing it over to the police and let them address it the way it was appropriate. We felt that was best.”
Translation: “We understand the need to hit the sauce after dealing with these little monsters all day, we just wish she would have held off until 3:30 like the rest of us. Hopefully, this is a lesson for everyone we work with.”
This article appears in Apr 20-26, 2011.
Hey, back in my school days in the Parma School District, one teacher’s preferred choice was valium. She said it was allergy pills until one student copped one when she stepped out of the class. We never squealed figuring, with us as students, she was justified.
Back in the day we had a teacher that smoked his pipe in class. One day he stepped out and someone packed his pipe, yes with you know what. I was two doors down and the aroma came down the hall. We were on the floor and the teacher puffed away. None of the other teachers knew what to say. That was a very in depth class discussion that day. True story!
I love your updated comment, Vince. Your question “how much are we paying subs these days” really hits the mark. The ridiculously low compensation for all teaching related positions is exactly what results in situations like this. Higher pay will draw more qualified workers as well as lessening the stresses on those already in the position which lead to illnesses like alcoholism. Thanks for making a great insight!