Your guide to living in fabulous Cleveland.
Doctoring the Books: MetroHealth reveals plan to offset massive debt by laying off 450 workers this fall. Hospital officials assure public that Sheila in hospitality services is a keeper — “and she knows her way around a first-aid kit.”
Garbage In, Garbage Out: Mayor Jackson returns from Japanese trip studying garbage-powered electricity for Cleveland. In a different time and a different place, this would have been Jimmy Dimora studying those vending machines that sell girls underpants.
Inside Voices, Please: Cleveland council members sponsor ordinance to limit live music levels in most venues to that of “unamplified acoustic instruments.” Companion ordinance would require all Cleveland businesses to sell only chai and clove cigarettes.
This Week’s Index: Cheer up: The Browns are still 13 weeks away from postseason elimination.
This article appears in Sep 21-27, 2011.
“Inside Voices Please” is untrue. The legislation on live music does not limit live music levels in most venues to that of unamplified acoustic instruments. And this legislation — in reality an update of old, current legislation, which DOES ban music — has not been formally introduced into council by anyone, although it has been through a more than year-long process of development and input from stakeholders including business owners, citizens, the safety department, the police, the zoning board and others. Someone without understanding of the ordinance who was not involved in the process has started a viral rumor which has about as much truth as those “grandmother has space alien triplets” stories you used to see in the supermarket tabloids.