Family nights are universally hard to spoon down, but one Akron guy took inner circle drama to a whole new level, according to Solon Patch. This is one of those epic shitfaces that end with multiple trips to jail, assaults on family members, and high jumps off the second story porch. Buckle up and remember to call your mom about dinner at grandma’s next week.
Our protagonist on this bender is unnamed, so we can’t pull up his LinkedIn account and spill about his high profiling banking job or high school teaching gig. Damn. He remains in the shadows — which is probably a good thing considering the figure he cut on March 5. The evening began with a family get together in Solon. The individual in question got bombed by 8 p.m. and wanted to drive home. When the family protested, he got unruly, leading to an exchange where he slapped down on his mother’s leg. Not cool.
This article appears in Mar 9-15, 2011.