It seems like just yesterday that I was sitting in Scorcher’s in West Akron, watching the 2006 NBA playoffs, when a bona fide cat-fight broke out between my friend and an unruly Detroit Pistons fan. It was Game 3, shortly after half time and shortly before my eighth Miller Lite, so the details are a bit blurry. But I do recall that my friend called Ben Wallace a faggot after he punked Bron Bron on his way to the hoop. Pistons Lady called my friend a “bitch.” And after the fracas died down, our group walked out with $25 in gift certificates from the manager. “I fucking hate the Pistons and their stupid fans,” he said as he handed it over, and we all high-fived, applauding both his sentiment and his decision to give us free shit.
Yes, it wasn’t long ago that I would have given anything to see Big Ben brutally injured. After all, the best defensive player in the game was manning up for the most evil team in the NBA – the Detroit fucking Pistons. They’re like the Steelers, only uglier. …
This article appears in Feb 20-26, 2008.
While you are shoppling Grollmus grab a mask for that ugly mug of yours and a long shirt to cover up that fat ass!