'You sound kind of pretty,' drunk man says on Avon Lake 911 call (updated with 911 audio, mugshot)

(update: 11:00am) Cleveland Scene obtained Bansley's mugshot, police report, and an audio recording of Bansley's "you sound kind of pretty" 911 call.The audio is as depressing as it is hilarious. Take a listen, it's a doozy:

John Bansley's 911 call



(original story 10:02am)


Via the Chronicle-Telegram comes a story about a man with a taste for terrible beer and a penchant for shortsightedness.

John Bansley bought a six-pack of Milwaukee's Best at an Avon Lake convenience store Monday morning and cracked one open outside the shop. He hadn't finished the first Beast by the time cops showed up, finding the 46-year-old man holding a "beer or bus ticket" sign. Already drunk from earlier the morning, Bansley told police "he was walking to Chicago after a fight with his ex-wife," per the paper. Avon Lake police cited him and took him to his ex-wife's house, and gave her his remaining beer.

Bansley apparently called 911 to complain his ex wouldn't give him his beer: a perfect time for him to find his next romantic partner.

"You sound all kind of pretty," he told the dispatcher after asking for her personal phone number. All this happened before noon.

Read the Chronicle-Telegram story for details.

Like this story?
SCENE Supporters make it possible to tell the Cleveland stories you won’t find elsewhere.
Become a supporter today.

Doug Brown

Doug Brown is a staff writer at Scene with a passion for public records laws and investigative reporting. A native of Ann Arbor, Mich., he has an M.A. in journalism from the Kent State University School of Journalism and Mass Communication and a B.A. in political science from Hiram College. Prior to joining Scene,...
Scroll to read more Cleveland News articles

Join Cleveland Scene Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.