It’s a Tuesday night in the dead of winter, and there isn’t an empty chair to be found — in fact, there’s a short wait for a table. Those lucky enough to have a seat are sipping wine, nibbling cheese and crackers, and slicing into fat steaks. The scene is no different from what takes place in countless restaurants around town, except for two things: Everybody here’s a dude, and everybody’s naked.
Mention “the schvitz” to most people, and you’ll be met with a blank stare or a gesundheit. But to a growing number of Cleveland’s younger, hipper set — including celebrity chefs like Jonathon Sawyer and Michael Symon — it is the most fascinating destination in town. And why not? Cloaked in mystery and history, the schvitz has been indulging men’s whims since the 1920s.
At its most basic, the schvitz is a bathhouse — a holdover from the days when Eastern European immigrants filled the Jewish ghettos of Cleveland’s near East Side. During the Sabbath, it was forbidden to heat water in the home, but there was no proscription against sweating — or schvitzing — in a steam room. And so men (and men only) made weekly visits. Though times certainly have changed, little about this place has kept up in roughly 85 years.
Few among today’s clientele — an easy mix of Jews and Gentiles — much care about the history of the joint. Arriving in groups of two, four, or more, they come to enjoy a carefree guys’ night out, with time in a blazing-hot steam room, maybe a nice rubdown, and a riotous feast of steak, stogies, and booze. With the right group of friends, it is truly one of Cleveland’s singular experiences.
“I’m not normally into guy stuff. I don’t follow sports, I don’t care about cars, and I know far more about women’s handbags than any straight man should,” says Dave Hill, a comedian and writer from Cleveland currently living in New York. “But the schvitz is some quality man time I’m always up for when I’m in Cleveland. Not even the Russian baths in the East Village can compete.”
As for the experience itself? Finding it is half the battle. The business has no address and is in a part of town most folks would rather avoid — near Kinsman and East 116th. Guests begin arriving in the afternoon, parking fancy cars in a gated, guarded lot nearby. Not only is the building located down a dead-end street, the nondescript fortress has not so much as a sign.
Check in at the front desk, track down an empty locker, then unload your gear and disrobe. This marks the last time you will see your pants until it’s time to leave. From here on out, the attire is strictly towels, bedsheets, or robustly au naturel.
Downstairs, in a tiled room with tiered wooden benches, bare-assed men schvitz, kibitz, and kvetch as they have done for eons. The conversations, too, are timeless, gliding from business and broads to civics and sports.
When the heat becomes oppressive, as it does the moment somebody tosses a bucket of water through the gaping oven door, the occupants escape to the relative comfort of the showers. The truly brave, meanwhile, take a heart-stopping plunge into an icy pool, their blood-curdling screams echoing off the cold, hard walls. Yes, there is shrinkage.
Upstairs, in an area that can best be described as a locker room for inactivity, men nap on cots in near-darkness. When their name is called, they settle in for a 30-minute rubdown, a cross between Swedish massage and Russian torture — and like every employee in the joint, the masseurs are men. Of course, all of these activities are merely time-killers leading up to the main event: dinner.
Taking seats in the unadorned dining room, guests unpack bags filled with cheese, sausages, bread, wine, vodka, and whatever else they care to eat or drink, in a deep and wide expansion of the B.Y.O.B. concept. Doting staffers accommodate every request, from fetching plates and silverware to rounding up buckets of ice. The mood is as celebratory as a bachelor party and, before long, just as rowdy. The only thing prohibited here is cell phones.
Platters of pickles, peppers, and rye bread are delivered to each table. Rib steaks come in three sizes: small, medium, and large, based on their thickness, not width. Sliced to size on a carpenter’s band saw, the beefy slabs arrive on a broiler plate covered in chopped garlic. It might be the heat stroke and Heineken talking, but steak just doesn’t get any better than this. Hamburgers, made from steak trimmings, are also popular. For those who run dry or come empty-handed, ice-cold longneck beers are self-serve from a cooler.
When it’s time to leave, anywhere from three to five hours later, you get dressed, clear out your locker, and return to the front desk. There is no check to pay; instead, simply tell the host what you ate and drank. An average night with steak and door charge is less than $50. Rubdowns are an extra thirty bucks.
Naturally, part of the schvitz’s appeal resides in its clandestine nature. The only way to discover it is by accompanying regulars, who arrive six days a week, with nary a need for reservations. But don’t assume all regulars want your company. In fact, many discouraged the very writing of this article.
“Aww, man. You really think they want to get written about?” groaned Paulius Nasvytis, owner of the Velvet Tango Room. “That place really is the ultimate in underground.” True enough, yet somehow ironic coming from a man who cultivated an air of mystery for years at his upscale cocktail lounge, all the while plastering his wall with press clippings. (Today, of course, Nasvytis gladly offers up the address and phone to anybody who’ll listen.)
After all, there is a downside to such secrecy. Though times are seemingly flush right now for the schvitz, that prosperity is surely not a given. Past droughts have given rise to — God forbid — ladies’ nights and other equally misguided promotions. And there were numerous times when business was so slow that the landmark’s future seemed anything but certain.
“The schvitz is a great place to let it all hang out — literally,” jokes Evan Cooper, an east sider who has been hitting the schvitz for years. “But it is definitely not for everybody. It is not in a great neighborhood, and some people are probably creeped-out by the idea of eating dinner in nothing but a towel.”
At fifty bucks a pop, not including B.Y.O.B. supplies, it’s not a cheap night either. Which is why present-day devotees’ appeals for secrecy seem shortsighted.
We should be doing everything we can to ensure that the venerable schvitz survives another 85 years. Discretion is one thing. Selfishness is another.
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This article appears in Feb 23 – Mar 1, 2011.
Thanks for nothing Trattner. Why, why, why would you right this article. Word of mouth and friends have kept this alive for a long time. You did the schvitz no favors by writing this article. Who cares if Simon and Sawyer go there, it’s the kind of place where that doesn’t matter. You blew it on this one. Great lengths to keep things low key and one lame article all for not. Perhaps you are the selfish one.
I lived 2 blocks from there on the corner of 112th and kinsman and I still can’t imagine where this place could be.I was there when the resevoir existed (the 60’s) until the mid 80’s and you just blown my mind.
1820: this ain’t the first article on the schvitz – and, hopefully, it won’t be the last.
Yes it’s quite the place! Mr. Trattner could have described the facilities in detail. Dirty, ugly and scary come to mind. Old and tired, the building suffered a major fire and the resulting matrix of cold, dark steps is unpleasant. Metal lockers, industrial fluorescent lighting, tip grubbing workers; I’ve been three times and it gets worse each time.
Your article brought back a fond memory of my youth, Doug. I remember my dad going to the Schvitz. He would tell us kids about how he would go there to “sweat.” In those days, they brought corned beef and rye bread to eat and drank Cotton Club Cherry/Strawberry soda. The corned beef came from Warsaws which I believe was somewhere down on Scoville and in the east thirties. LOL! I remember thinking that they go there to sweat and lose weight and then they eat! 🙂
as we allude to, mook, this place ain’t for everybody. all the more reason to make sure it stays just enough out of the shadows to survive.
I hope it is the last article on the schvitz. Did you even ask the owners if they were ok with you doing an article on them? I think they are happy with their business, and do not need you help. And I think you need to apologize to Paulius. Just not cool Trattner.
hey mad – you ever been to the schvitz? ever see the wall with the press clippings? and not that i need to ask anybody’s permission to write an article (do you think i ask restaurant owners for permission to review their places?) i did ask them, and guess what? they are okay with it – they run a business after all.
RE: paulius, what portion of that statement is untrue? VTR has a website with a map, phone number, address, whereas before you’d be hard-pressed to track down a number. how is that not telling “anybody who will listen”?
First off I am at the Schvitz at least once every two weeks. And If you look that was when the current owners 1st took over or prior. And are you sure that they are okay with it. I have talked to then numerous times and they are very happy with the business they have. Second I am sorry it is slow in the restaurant business, you have nothing else to comment on and no one reads your articles, so you had to go there. I know that you asked numerous regulars of the schvitz and they all asked you to not write about it. You have even asked me once if you could tag along with me to the schvitz and I have ignored you just for this reason, because I did not want to take the person writes about such a special place. Once again no matter how you look at it NOT COOL.
I’ve been “going there” since I was 12, unlike you guys who just discovered it and now want it all for yourselves. Funny how it’s not the guys who have been going for decades who are complaining, but rather the johnny-come-latelys.
and if nobody reads my articles, what are you so hot-and-bothered about?
Trattner you are officially an idiot!! The clippings on the wall were written with the approval of the owner. As 1820 said we don’t care who there, this place is a tradition of being a speakeasy with a certain nostalgia. You have put the longevity of the Schvitz in jeopardy, hope your happy you got a story out of it you DB. I hope the next thing that comes off the grill isn’t a steak but Trattner medium rare with a side of foot in the mouth!
great piece dt. i’ve been going to the schvitz since 1957 when i was seven when my dad took me for the first time. the “herring club” met on sunday mornings and i still have great memories of those days. just wish i still had my “herring club” t-shirt. you forgot to write about the playtza’s. i definite highlight given by billy. a true master. i wrote a piece on this place years ago and is still tacked up on the bulletin board, only now it’s covered with more recent articles. but as one of the owners told me the last time i was in “hey, you had a good run.”
i’m in atlanta now but still come in twice a year for a schvitz. thank god it’s not for everybody.
Are you now insulting the people that are going to go for the first time due to this article? “johnny come latelys”. The owners were most certainly not happy with the photos and location being posted. let a good thing be. I hope you are without a place to sit quietly every time you go. You deserve the lack of relaxation that you have most likely brought the “old timers” and “johnny come lately” alike.
My husband goes there all the time. Thanks for letting me know what’s really happening in the SCHVITZ.
I understand your point that you tell people about it and want new people to come but that is because you invite people who you know won’t be a-holes and ruin the place. Every time I’ve gone, it’s been a decision of who is invited, never done to necessarily keep someone out but we all have someone(s) we know that you can’t trust there, hence we don’t tell them when we go. When you spread the information its not like it makes things better because more people can enjoy it, its exactly the opposite, it’s less control on the a-holes that will be there aside from us ‘johnny come latelys’ that know our way around and know how to act in there.
You want to write about the history or the guys club it is? Great. Want to discuss the food? I’m all for that one. But no need to give away everything about a ‘secret’ place that isn’t going to be secret much longer. If the Schvitz wanted people to know where it is, they would advertise.
mook- if it’s so bad, why do you keep going back?
Ive been going for 12-13 years now. With young kids now at home, only a couple times a season. But, it is the best. It is the type of thing that makes Cleveland underground special. Sit and sweat with a CEO, the Monsignor, and the guy who puts driveways in. Just men, once you are in. No douchebags allowed. And how could you not scare away people with a Platza? (BTW, The PD did an article a couple of years ago and I doubt it had any affect on patronage.)
Mooky,
I’m glad you feel this way. One less person there the better. For me, going there is something to look forward to. My dad brought me, and now I bring my kids. Mooky, please stay away!! Its people like you who voted for non-somking resturaunts as well.
They sure do have a street address: 11409 Kinsman Road. Looks like you have to drive north off Kinsman onto East 116th and turn left at Luke Avenue, which dead ends. That took about twenty seconds on Google. If they were trying to keep the location a secret, that’s pretty much over with.
Nice job Trattner. You should have not done this article. Talking about being selfish.
I was in the steam room at the Lake West Y more than a dozen years ago talking to an old-timer while we sat in the plastic chairs and sweated and asked him if he had ever been to the Schvitz. He said he hadn’t been there in more than 30 years: “my dad used to take me there when I was a kid. Wait a minute: I’m 86! I hear that neighborhood isn’t so good anymore.” Time for me to get back down myself. I bet I can find it. Go to where there’s nothing and head straight in. Hi to Greg! Mike
trattner you’re a douche. if you have been going there since you were 12 then you really should know better. the last thing those guys want is some local journalist writing a publicity piece for them. i’m told that they now have a doorbell and ask a series of questions to the people ringing it since you wrote this article. way to go. don’t you have a travel guide about youngstown that you need to go write.
Last night, I had two friends who go to the Schvitz with me head up there after reading the article. To now get in, you have to ring the buzzer, **** (not using the guys name at the place to help anyone) comes down and asks how you know about the place and who you come with. If you don’t have the right answer, and some people don’t because he said people said they came because of this article, they’ll tell you to shove it and leave.
You really sure you cleared it with the owners Doucher McDoucherson? Or was that just your thumb stuck so far in your ass that you didn’t realize what a stupid decision you were making writing this article and convinced yourself they’d like it?
But again, awesome decision, you’re going to be welcomed back with open arms.
Jackass.
I’ve been going to the Schvitz since 1973 and have taken many “virgins” there. It’s not for everyone, and so you’ll read an occasional sour review. Many of my family members and friends go with me whenever possible and we all love it–the heat, the steak, the friendship–it’s all good for us. I feel as if the low profile adds a little something, a little mystery perhaps. If it’s not for you, that’s ok, it’s not the kind of place that can make everyone feel comfortable. But, for me and my friends and relatives, there’s nothing like the shvitz. Mark and Greg, keep up the good work.
So what are you going to do to make this right Trattner? You have pissed off everyone who attends, works or owns the schvitz. You have alienated your friends and people that have made you who you are. Your name, phone number and address is as available as the VTR and “anyone who will listen.” You are a joke and made a huge mistake. But what now? People use to put up with you…
I don’t know you, I’ve never read an article by you so this is based solely on this piece…you are an idiot.
You tried to justify publishing this article because time are tough and they needed to business.
Well if that was the case why do you begin your article by stating the last time you went every table was full and you had to wait to sit down. Most businesses that have every table full and a wait are doing pretty good on their own….secrecy and all.
You also mention the Plain Dealer ran an article on The Schvitz a few years back; so in addition to being a hypocrite you’re also a hack that can’t write anything original.
I love how the d-Bag writer of this article gets on the site and posts in the comments… You are a d-bag… That is for sure…
You knew writing this article would piss everyone off and you did it anyway. Every single person I know that heard about this article called you a d-bag. A restaurant critic who thinks he is some sort of undercover writer.
Anybody who knows the spirit of this place knows writing an article about it is treason. It wasnt right when the PD did it, and it’s not right now. They should go back to membership cards. Honestly, dude what were you thinking? Did the “cool kids” not let you come to their parties or something.
I haven’t written a comment EVER on a website… But I can’t get over this douche-baggery.
All I have to say is the Schvitz is a very special place to a lot of us…….it brings back warm memories (no pun intended) of our fathers and grandfathers taking us as young boys to get some heat and enjoy a great steak (quality time with Dad). Most of us have lost our fathers and grandfathers, So the needle on the nostalgia meter redlines every time we walk into the place. This special place offers great old memories and we make great new memories every time we go to the schvitz. The schvitz has not changed since 1927 and this is what makes it so great. As for the author, I think he should have written about Chuckie Cheese not our beloved Schvits. I take my steak medium, Pittsburgh Garlic only…….Thank you Mark and Greg and everyone else at the Schvitz for making our trips down so special.
Boy, Gay would have been excited about this! A little wine…
a little Schmaltz…… and then off to find the Rat
x
I have been going to the Schvitz for quite some time now and was really unhappy to see the article. thanks for letting the neighborhood know that we are now targets heading in and out of the schvitz. idiot.
Some of you ripping on trattner ought to educate yourself on first amendment right and free speech. Some of you knuckleheads should understand there are many people who could give a rats behind about eating steak next to some naked blowhard pretending his presence and spew is stopping world hunger. Get over yourself.
Could you PUH-LEASE quit referencing Michael Symon and his sidekick “celebrity cook” in all these articles.
there are alot of much more impressive members of “the hippper set” you refer to.
We used to go every other week, now our schedule keeps us from doing so. Personally, I think this is THE BEST place for guys night out. Well, at least it was before self-proclaimed “reviewer” decided to f**k it up.
I honestly think that describing place with nice cars in that neighborhood is stupid. Seriously, what’s next? Post signs on the poles advertising fresh place to score a car radio or something like it? I’m afraid that it will hurt the place more than help, it may even shut it down.
I doubt this article changes anything. Ya, a couple of guys will get the number and end up making a night of it. If they are jerks they won’t be back, if they don’t like it they won’t be back, it they do maybe they will be back. I’ve always liked the pictures (baddest of the bad).
Mr. Trattner, everyone knows that cigar smoking is strictly prohibited at the Schvitz. Other than that, your article captures the essence of the Schvitz experience quite well. DSD
Who was Dumb enough to invite this guy?
Soooo true about Paulius, Doug!!! You don’t know the half of it!!! Apologize to Paulius? He owes an apology to every bartender who ever worked for him.
What a pack of cry babies! The guy writes about places to buy food and drink. Why would this be off-limits? It’s not his job to keep the hidden places hidden. It’s his job to reveal them!
Just stumbled on this article, and I have to say, I’m quite glad I did because of the comments. I haven’t encountered a group of people this nuts since the Zoological society conspiracy theory people! But, in typical fashion, it’s just a whole bunch of anonymous accounts created especially for commenting on this article. You know, because real men hide behind the veil on anonymity when they comment online.
Even after reading and Googling the location I doubt I will ever go…And I am sure everyone is okay with that…
This place is for some people…Not all people, i don’t think it needs advertising elsewise we’d have known about it via mass media a while ago…
Let them keep to themselves…
I won’t bother them because I do not believe it’s something for me and I bet we’re both okay with that….
Everyone needs to chill out, no one really gives a Schvitz!!!! HA HAHHH! Yes! FOR THE WIN!!!
I just spent an evening there. It was wonderful until the owner heard I was a gay man. I when I left to pay he assaulted me and told me my kind was not welcome there. I had come as a part of a group of men who were my friends. I was suddenly separated from them and intimidated with physical harm. I was shocked and thought it a joke at first and reminded them it was 2013. The owner and his brother were relentless and I feared for my well being as I tried to flee to the parking lot. I have not experienced this type of discrimination even in the South in over 2 decades. Shame on Cleveland. I will be consulting with my lawyers to close this operation down. It was horrifying.
Gay guy,
If what you are saying is true, and I hope you are telling the truth because to throw such serious accusations out in public to any operation can be slanderous if not 100% the truth, this could be huge news with the famous people who visit the place and draw them all into the light. Again, if you are telling truth. If you are, I wish you the best in persuing justice. I am not gay but I agree this is 2013, there is no excuse for rich, fat, in-crowd men living as hedonistic as Roman times. I think this place should go anyway.