This Saturday Cleveland Police Will Auction Impounded Cars
Do I hear $300? Here’s a problem we’ve all had to face down at one point or another: you need a new car. The old Saturn got hauled off in a flash flood, the spot where you parked the Explorer this morning is empty except for a bunch of broken window glass — whatever happened,…
Carl Hirsch, Architect of WMMS’ Heyday, Dead at 64
Carl Hirsch Former Cleveland radio executive Carl Hirsch died suddenly Monday of a heart attack in Florida, where he had been living in recent years. He was 64. Hirsch was president/CEO of Malrite, WMMS-FM’s parent company, from 1974-1985, the years in which WMMS became the most influential rock station in the country. He ran Legacy…
Cleveland Groups React to Collective Bargaining Bill, Council Passes Anti-SB 5 Resolution
Anastasia Pantsios Steve Loomis and others. Hundreds of union workers gathered in the rotunda of Cleveland City Hall Monday night to rally against Ohio SB 5, which would eliminate public sector workers’ right to collective bargaining. Ward 9 Councilman Kevin Conwell led the rally, saying, “We’re at a tipping point. They want to push us…
Did Someone Poop In The Statehouse? An Investigation
Tom Niehaus. PolitiFact exists to monitor and check what politicians and public officials spew from their mouths for veracity. It’s quite the nice service — ferreting out truth and lies in politics. From campaign promises to press conference quotes to unsubstantiated assertions, PolitiFact is there to verify. And today, friends, it achieved its zenith. Why?…
East Cleveland Finds Money For Kids
Officials in East Cleveland have long dreamed of offering children new pastimes to complement their interests in drugs and gangs. Now a $750,000 grant could make it happen. The newly created East Cleveland Teen Collaborative will steer kids toward summer jobs and extracurricular activities, and away from thug life. “The concept of jobs as a…
Pic of the Day: Braylon Edwards’ Birthday Cake
Via Cleveland Frowns, here’s what Braylon’s birthday cake looked like. Subtle, understated, just like the man himself. We’re not sure what he conquered — His fear of heights? Diabetes? — but that’s a small quibble with such a beautiful confectionery creation.
Man Calls Police Over Moldy Wendy’s Hamburger
I’d like to enter this into evidence. If your fast food order is for some reason unsatisfactory, the logical and easiest recourse is to complain at the store. They’ll likely fork over some free grub, maybe some coupons for a future visit, and apologize profusely. If you don’t find their recompense to your liking, it’s…
Eugene Sanders, Former Schools’ Head, Soaking Up Hawaii Sun
“Excuse me, ma’am? This drink was supposed to have one of those little pink umbrellas in it? Ah, thank you.” Everyone across the city was a little surprised when word came down that Cleveland school’s top man Eugene Sanders was packing his bags and leaving the struggling district mid-school year. The initial reports suggested Sanders…
The Quality of Cleveland Life Index
Your guide to thriving in fabulous Cleveland. Schizzy Parking Plans: Akron announced free first-hour parking in city garages, hoping to attract more people to downtown. Meanwhile, Cleveland Heights plans to continue confiscating axles precisely 1.5 seconds after the meter expires. The Kings’ Tweets : Daniel Gibson and LeBron James engaged in the lamest Twitter feud…
Cleveland Clinic Begins Travel Deals For Sick People
Are you a frequent traveler? If your next extreme whitewater vacation or Himalayan trek goes terribly wrong, do you worry about being stranded in a remote Third World hospital whose arsenal of medical equipment consists of a rusty bone saw? Fear not, for Cleveland Clinic has peace of mind for sale. If you are more…
Progressive Think Tank Designed to Blast Republican Think Tank
Now that conservative Republicans control all of state government, Ohio progressives are fighting back. Janetta King, former policy aide to Governor Ted Strickland, has launched a think tank called Innovation Ohio to be a public voice for progressives in state policy debates. The group was announced at a press conference in Columbus today. Like the…
Raw Sewage Diverted Into the Cuyahoga River
Massive flooding at at the Southerly Wastewater Treatment Plant has forced the Northeast Ohio Regional Sewer District to pour raw sewage into the Cuyahoga River, so they’re asking you to limit the amount of water you use today. The Southerly location just off E. 49th St. usually handles 125 million gallons a day; its capacity…
Smuggling Pot Inside a Hamburger Is a Plan Doomed to Failure
The Guthrie Job Corps Center in Logan County runs a tight ship. Visitors to the center, which is a vocational and residential training facility run by the U.S. Department of Labor, must pass by security guards and face inspections before being allowed inside. So it’s perhaps not wise to try and smuggle drugs in, just…
Everything Is Flooded
Chances are if you’re reading this you are under water. Perhaps in a submarine. Maybe just doggy paddling it to the mailbox. We were going to brief you on the list of roads and cities that are currently submerged, but the list grew too long. We’re under the working assumption that if we walk outside…
Morning Brew: Akron Embraces Free Parking, Lame LeBron Feud, Basket Travelers, and ATM Thefts
Good morning, Cleveland. Here’s some stuff to read while you paddle down your driveway. In an effort to to attract visitors and shoppers downtown, the city of Akron has decreed that your first hour at city parking garages will be free. Cool. Double cool: just about anything you can do in Akron can be done…
Pic of the Day: Giant Sinkhole Caused By Flooding
Water, water everywhere today. Flooding is causing havoc all over the Cleveland area, which means it’s time for two quick reminders: 1) Don’t drive through flooded areas lest you want the world to watch you be “rescued” from the top of your hood on TV, and 2) Flooding is dangerous, as evidenced by this giant…
Ohio TV Anchor Discovers Thongs Are Not Tax Deductible
Anietra Hamper has been a TV anchor at two Columbus-area stations. In addition to being well-versed in local news and national trends, Hamper also made it a point to keep up her appearance, a key tenet of the talking head gig. From 2005-2008, she worked at NBC4 and then moved on to WBNS until 2010.…
Denny Obermiller, Grandparent Killer, Sentenced to Death
The guy behind one of the most heinous crimes to rock Northeast Ohio in recent years has been sentenced to death, adding another name to the state’s lengthy death row. Maple Heights man Denny Obermiller was responsible for some real sick stuff. Like put your kids away in front of the TV for a minute.…
This Is What Passes For News When It Snows
Well, it’s come to this Cleveland. Everything shuts down when it snows — schools, places of work, our brains — and that includes the news. Here’s one of the top five stories on NewsNet5 right now: Snow didn’t stop a Rocky River woman from cross-country skiing to the salon. They’ve got a video and everything,…
Cleveland Man Specializes In Eating Glass
Everyone loves a freak sideshow, right? Well how about 27-year-old Jimmy Coffin (how’s that for a pitch-perfect last name?) and his passion for consuming glass. Coffin is well-versed in a variety of circus-like performances. Fox 8 says he breathes fires, can squeeze his body through a tennis racket, can jam an entire knife up his…
Can Tim Misny Sue The Snow?
This is an old video, but we just saw it for the first time the other day at Mike Polk’s CD release gig at The Winchester. It does raise a good question though: Can Tim Misny freaking sue the weather? I bet he could.
Snow Day Free Music: Radiohead Remix
We figure you’re probably not doing much today, seeing it’s a snow day for, like, 87 percent of Northeast Ohio. So why not download the cool new Radiohead Remixed mix, compiled by local DJ misterbradleyp? You can find the 20-song mix here. Best of all, it’s totally free! If you’re still old-school, misterbradleyp will have…
Cleveland Test Scores Low on Nation’s Report Card
Cleveland Public Schools — ever gripped in the struggle for improvement — were dealt a blow this week when a national analysis of test data showed the district holding down a low spot on a list of 17 urban schools systems. The U.S. Department of Education released the “Nation’s Report Card” this week, detailing the…
Mother and Daughter Fight Over How To Cook Potato
Familial spats can be caused by disagreements small and large. We’ve all been there. Someplace you’ve probably never been, however, is in the middle of fisticuffs with your parent because the two of you could not agree on how to cook a potato. A mother-daughter combo in Port Clinton might be the only relatives to…
Concert Review: Kataklysm at Peabody’s
“Look how big my invisible sandwich is” There was a lot of love in the pit last night for Kataklysm’s concert at Peabody’s. No broken bones, no bruises, just some nudity and lots of loud music from the Canadian death-metal band, which is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year. Openers Conducting From the Grave and…
Ohio Bill Would Ban Human-Animal Hybrids
Ohio State Senator Kris Jordan, a Republican who reps Ohio’s 19th district, introduce Senate Bill 94 on Thursday which would ban the creation of human-animal hybrids. Bear with us for a second, as we were unaware that such a bill was needed. Apparently the Buckeye State is in imminent danger of being plagued by scientists…
Woman Puts Baking Soda In Newspaper Box To Scare Vandals, Ends Up Shutting Down Entire Government Office
One Canton woman was plain sick and tired of miscreants effing with her newspaper box. They had torn it from its stand, packed it with snow, ripped off the numbers, and just about everything short of dropping a deuce in it. Enough was enough. A victim no more, she took the fight to the streets.…
John Boehner, Pro-Lifer, Has Office Stormed by Anti-Abortion Activists
“And I was like, ‘dude, we’re on the same team.'” The last time we were in the nation’s capitol, Dick Goddard was still arm wrestling OSU linebackers for fun between weather reports (i.e. six months ago). But from out here in the heartland, it looks like things are getting wild up on the Hill. You…
Man High On Bath Salts Calls Cops About Imaginary Intruders
This bath salt craze is apparently real, and dangerous, and hilarious. The Medina County Gazette reports that 31-year-old Lucas Kocab called the cops around dinnertime on February 17 because there were 30 intruders in his house. The police arrived to find exactly zero intruders, but did find Kocab frantically running around and “acting paranoid.” He…
Pair of Changes On the Horizon For Ohio Drivers
No, sadly, the license plate design will not be changing. The Buckeye State will have to live with the hazy farmland scene, the one with a swirl of colors that looks like an 5-year-old’s early-period refrigerator work, perhaps from his finger-painting phase. Two changes are likely on the horizon, however.
Karl Rove Visits Youngstown Areas, Gets Protested
Ya’ll ain’t stuffin’ my flow. Karl Rove, Sith Lord of the far right, showed up in Northeast Ohio for another stop on his endless Bush Apology-Bash Obama tour. The Washington power broker spoke in Niles before a group of 400 fans for the Mahoning Valley McKinley Club dinner. The event was 35 clams a plate…
Inside the Life of Ray Towler, Wrongly Imprisoned for 30 Years
Esquire has a terrific profile of Ray Towler in this month’s issue. Towler spent thirty years in Ohio prisons for a crime he didn’t commit. Not until assistance arrived from The Columbus Dispatch and The Innocence Project did Towler’s case get a fair shot, specifically because of advances in DNA technology that showed conclusively that…
Dick Goddard Is 80 Today
We normally have blueberries on our cereal. Delicious and nutritious. But this morning we woke up and poured a healthy portion of woolly bears on our Frosted Flakes in honor of one Dick Goddard, Cleveland’s resident weatherman, badass, and lover of animals. Dick turns 80 today, which may or may not be his real age.…
Afternoon Brew: City Worker Attempts Suicide At City Hall, Cuyahoga County’s Human Resources Board, Bank Robber Strikes Again, and Short-Term Casino Location Could Be Long-Term
Good afternoon, Cleveland. Here’s some stuff to read while you get all pumped up for Dick Goddard’s birthday tomorrow. — 19 Action News reports a city worker attempted suicide by jumping off the fifth floor inside the rotunda at City Hall after being denied family leave and not receiving a paycheck. Surely there will be…
LA Times: Cleveland is Cool, Economically Speaking
Just don’t call it a comeback. Well, we lost a bet made with the guy who changes the Scene-mobile’s snow tires: it turns out the entire West Coast has not completely forgotten about us simple folk here in the frozen heartland. We were sure Californians only saw us as that patch of flyover smog on…
Man Buys Cavs Tickets With “LeBron Guarantee” From Broker, Broker Refuses To Issue Refund
Cavs season ticket holders were forced to make a decision long before LeBron’s: renew or not to renew. It was a gamble, one that everyone lost once James was in Miami and they were in the lower bowl watching the worst team in the NBA because the resale market for a Tuesday Cavs vs. Timberwolves…
Gay Marriages Predicted to Increase: President Virtually Shuts Down Federal Ban
Remember that Defense of Marriage Act that was such a big deal? It’s now completely defenseless. To refresh your memory, the federal law was passed in 1996 to make same-sex marriage a big legal no-no. We are no legal experts here at Scene, but it appears that it may be much easier to buy a…
Vintage Video: Meet ‘Old Sparky,’ Ohio’s Electric Chair
With executions in the news recently, NewsNet5 dug up some old video and coverage of Ohio’s electric chair, which was last used in 1963. That seat of fire was called “Old Sparky” or “Old Thunderbolt,” which both seem like cuter names for old dogs than a death delivery device, but whatever. A little nugget from…
Gray House Pies Expanding to Westlake
Joe Schlott always had a passion for baking. But instead of attending culinary school, as was his dream, he made a career from selling mortgages. When he and his wife moved into an old gray farmhouse across from the busiest church in the neighborhood, he decided to peddle his pies to hungry parishioners. “We sold…
Ready For Major League 4?
Charlie Sheen told TMZ that he’s in negotiations to star in yet another sequel in the Major League franchise. We’re all for Ricky Vaughn, but two was pushing it, the third was an abomination, and as for four, we’re not holding our breath for anything even remotely comparable to the original. The original screenwriters are…
Pic of the Day: The Making of a Mascot
Your venerable local sports bloggers over at Waiting For Next Year traveled to Indianapolis to visit a company that makes mascots, one of them being the Cavs’ new Sir C.C. getup. Highly recommended reading.
Man From 33 A.D. Tells Cops God Wants Him To Go To Dance Club
It’s hard not to thoroughly enjoy the ridiculousness of this story, even if it presumably involves a mentally ill man. Solon Patch reports that cops were called Monday for a car that had stopped cold on Richmond Road. Not cool. Impeding traffic is bound to get a visit from the friendly and busy blues. When…
Sweat the Small Stuff
It’s a Tuesday night in the dead of winter, and there isn’t an empty chair to be found — in fact, there’s a short wait for a table. Those lucky enough to have a seat are sipping wine, nibbling cheese and crackers, and slicing into fat steaks. The scene is no different from what takes…
We Get Mail
Wrestling Gone Awry I am writing about that troubling article about the soldier who died at the hands of another soldier — while they were playing [“Fallen Angel,” January 26, 2011]? Makes you wonder what the hell they teach them in the military, and I guess what I am really struggling with is whether the…
Film Capsules
Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (PG-13) — Martin Lawrence puts on a dress again. Brandon T. Jackson joins him. Biutiful (R) — Alejandro González Iñárritu’s latest, starring Javier Bardem as a father and petty crook who takes stock of his life after he’s diagnosed with cancer. Black Swan(R) — Nina (Natalie Portman) has finally…
Local Band in Focus
Meet the Band: Shawn Brewster (vocals, guitar, piano, harmonica), Mike Kinsella (bass, vocals), Kevin Suman (drums), and Jeff Guhde (guitar) Road to Glory: Painesville native Brewster started out braving the open-mic circuit with just a guitar. But after jamming with Kinsella, he knew it was time to expand his sound. “Not just with a backing…
At the Arthouse
The Taqwacores It’s set in Buffalo, but this movie about Muslim punks was shot in Cleveland by a former Clevelander. Eyad Zahra’s first feature revolves around a group of students who turn their house into a mosque by day and a club at night, when Muslim punk songs fill the room. Essentially, it’s a coming-of-age…
CD Review: Andy Cook & the Wanderloons
(myspace.com/andycook) This Oberlin group grabs inspiration from the same well of 1960s hippie music mined by freak-folk faves Devendra Banhart and Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeroes. But frontman Cook’s quaint harmonies and nostalgic lyrics are more Simon & Garfunkel than Bob Dylan. “Between the River and the Fire” is a jubilant rave-up espousing the…
On View This Week
Pop Art for Mom A downtown show celebrates the lives of modern womenA gallery can be somber. But Canton artist Judi Krew wants you to know it’s okay to laugh. In fact she wants you to. That’s part of the point of her exhibition, Grins and Giggles are Good for the Soul, now on display…
Home Movies
Memento (Lionsgate) Inception was a flawless merging of the two sides of director Christopher Nolan: the action-hero side (which he perfected in The Dark Knight) and the mind-fucking side, which he first nailed in 2000’s Memento. The 10th-anniversary Blu-ray of his breakthrough movie centers on an insurance investigator who can’t remember things, like who killed…
The New Black
Gary Norton’s inner sanctum in the fraying, nondescript office building that passes for East Cleveland City Hall looks like the workspace of any busy executive. Its walls are covered with evidence of the mayor’s passions: photos of his wife and three daughters, an Ebony magazine cover featuring Barack Obama, mementos from his fraternity. In the…
Weird Birds
About a year ago, Rusty Boyer and David Horton of the Kent rock band Dr. Teeeth wanted to explore something more “futuristic and complex,” as Boyer puts it. So they recruited a friend — singer and guitarist Neal Campbell — for a new project called the Rare Birds. Before long, they had written several songs…
Movie Man-Dates
Movie bromances go back years, all the way to Rick and Captain Renault’s cuddly “This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship” bond in Casablanca. But lately there have been a rash of movies celebrating the love that no woman can break. With this week’s opening of Hall Pass — in which best buds played…
Concert Calendar
Death by Stereo How’s this for a holiday greeting: California punks Death by Stereo posted on their website this past Christmas Eve an illustration featuring Santa Claus holding a pistol to Jesus’ head. Happy holidays, kids! The band has been kicking around since the late ’90s, and in true punk spirit, they’ve released a string…
Bites: Blowback From a Chef, James Beard Nominations
Penning the recent Scene feature story “25 Restaurants Cleveland Can’t Live Without” was fun, but not without its consequences. While 25 may sound like a nice, plump figure, it barely scratches the surface of noble eateries around town. Naturally, there were hurt feelings along with the praise. “All I can say is WOW!” wrote one…
Romance in the Raw
In American pop music, there tends to be a pretty clear dividing line between love songs and sex songs. Not surprisingly, no such line exists for the French, which helps explain why a tune called “Fuck Me” works so well as the sweet and innocent finale to Yann Tiersen’s long-awaited U.S. debut, Dust Lane. “For…
Drink of the Week
In Brazil, Carnivale lasts a few days. At Saravá, we’re happy to report, it goes on for weeks. Now through March 8, the sassy Shaker Square restaurant is celebrating with dinner specials, a series of Samba Sundays, and — of particular interest to festive imbibers — great deals on their signature caipirinhas, which are temporarily…
On Stage This Week
Shrek Everyone’s favorite ogre ambles into the Palace Theatre March 1 to 13 in a lively touring production from Dream Works Theatricals. Based on the original book and the movies that followed, Shrek the Musical stars Eric Petersen reprising his role from the Broadway production, and features book and lyrics by Pulitzer Prize winner David…
Get Out!
Thursday | 24 Laugh It Up: The New Improv Steps Out Tonight When you’ve launched as many comedy clubs as Lee Herlands has, the science behind opening night is rather simple. “I wanted to overextend the whole place, so that whatever can go wrong will go wrong,” says the boss of the Cleveland Improv and…
Stay In!
TOP PICK – CD Bob Marley & the Wailers: Live Forever: The Stanley Theatre, Pittsburgh, PA, September 23, 1980 (UMe/Tuff Gong International) The 20 songs on this two-disc set make up the last concert Marley ever performed. He died eight months later. It plays like a greatest-hits set, with “No Woman, No Cry,” “Jamming,” “Could…
