Dennis Kucinich — Cleveland-area congressman, presidential aspirant, and part-time Stitich impersonator — is creeping up in the polls and closing in on front-runners Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, according to some information that’s not remotely true but, lucky for us, appears credible enough to make fun of.
This press release, released by Kucinich this week, makes the claim that Kucinich is making up substantial ground, and living up to his self-given moniker, “the Seabiscuit of the field.” (Editor’s note: Really? Seabuiscit? ‘Cause we would’ve gone with Barbaro, or some other crippled one-trick pony that was eventually, mercifully, put out of its God damn misery). Upon what, you ask, have they based this crack-pipe dream? It turns out that, in an online poll asking who won Sunday’s Democratic presidential forum, Kucinich got more votes than any other other candidate. Not a scientific poll, or a phone poll, or a poll of four guys sitting at the Red Rose at 11 a.m. the next morning. An online poll. As in, the kind of poll where anybody with a computer can click on a candidate, clear his cookies, and vote again and again and again, no questions asked. (Although it would be cool if the computer did chime in with some questions: Kucinich? Are you sure, man?)
With candidates gearing up for the caucuses, now’s the time for them to enlist their army of flaks, to twist and manipulate every nugget of information, making themselves appear favorable – or, in Kucinich’s case, remotely viable. For him, it appears, it doesn’t matter how little the morsel, since he’s on the ground picking up crumbs anyway. – TK Kim
This article appears in Aug 15-21, 2007.
While funny, you know it’s only a matter of time before The Kooch’s lemmings, er, supporters, catch wind of this and start posting their messianic praises of the man least likely to be elected President of the United States.
And 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .
How sad that you only know how to make fun of a sincere, honest, intelligent candidate. It’s a waste of natural resources to use the Internet in this way.
Irene Lynch
Colts Neck NJ
To the blog writer, who are you supporting for president?
… and we have liftoff!
Or do we?
I find it profoundly sad that “snarky” preempts “substance” in these pieces, leaving your readers no more informed than when they arrived.
I won’t be joining the Smug Brigade with my comment today. I’m not here to start a flame war.
I will say, from my heart, that those who receive a paycheck from the media outlets in Northeast Ohio would do a great justice to the good citizens of this town by re-embracing the apparenlty forgotten or dismissed notion of journalistic integrity.
Enough deflating and denigrating not only Kucinich, but your neighbors and readers whose experience is not aligned with your agenda.
To the commenters: Take a day off the bandwagon and surf elsewhere – I guarantee you’ll glean a broader perspective.
It is true that the odds of Dennis being elected President are about the same as the odds that Charlie Frye will lead the Browns to a Super Bowl win over Michael Vick and the Falcons. However, it is also true that Dennis did win that ABC online poll as to who won the recent Iowa debate. That was of course a scientific poll of nothing, but numerous people noticed it. Further, Dennis is performing a public service. The Democrats recently took over Congress in the last election. It is widely understood that this was a referendum on the Iraq war. Since then the Congress has done nothing about ending the war, and has drawn poll ratings as low as the President, with the President’s polls now lower than Nixon’s were when he resigned. Dennis’ presence in the race reminds the other Democrats that they are ignoring the mandate that they recently got. If he wakes up the other Democratic presidential candidates, his presence in the race will have been of value. If he does not wake them up, then he should win, being the ONLY prominent voice out there representing the demonstrated will of the American public.
Dennis Kucinich speaks the truth. He is more astute than most of the other sheep, and has the balls to tell it like it is. The man is an American patriot of the first degree!