A desperate Browns fan has posted a bid for the new coaching position on Craiglist. His pick? Himself.

Despite having never played more than Madden and a little pickup football, this chap thinks he’s more qualified than the other fogies the team’s head honchos have been interviewing (he may be right).

His other attributes include strong leadership skills and two degrees in accounting.

The quick-list of his projected accomplishments while on staff would include:

1. Bring in a Quarterback younger than myself (I am 27)
2. Bring in players who can catch a football from said quarterback
3. Bring in players who do not tweet photos of illegal substances
4. Bring back Phil Dawson
5. Pay Josh Gordon whatever he wants… if he can do it with Weeden/Campbell, imagine what he could do with an NFL QB

Doesn’t sound too bad to us. We say bring him aboard!

Now See: (A Different) Desperate Browns Fan Posts Wanted Ad on Craigslist for New Quarterback>>

This article appears in Jan 15-21, 2014.

Alaina Nutile is the Web Editor who oversees all digital content and social media initiatives for Cleveland Scene Magazine and Detroit Metro Times. Before joining the staff in June 2013, she interned at Business Insider in New York City, and at La Hora in Quito, Ecuador. Alaina is a graduate of Kalamazoo College in Michigan, where she double majored in English and Spanish. Her interests include Japanese food, Breaking Bad, and career development advising.

2 replies on “Desperate Cleveland Browns Fan Posts Bid for Coaching Position on Craigslist”

  1. The Three Stooges should have a local Reality TV show — like American Idol – where everyday people can audition for the head coaching slot; after six or seven episodes, a guaranteed one-year contract worth $4 million will be presented to the lucky winner.

  2. Well, we’re rapidly getting to the point where only a craigslist ad for the Browns head coaching spot will get answered. You can only scrape the bottom of the barrel so much until you break through to the dirt underneath.

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