Last week I was working on a followup to my recent column advising Drew Carey and his L.A. libertarian buddies what they could do with their web series “Reason Saves Cleveland.” The response from readers was swift and overwhelmingly negative, and I planned to respond in kind. Then, just before deadline, this arrived:

I must say I was somewhat dismayed that you decided to turn your disagreements with the content of the Reason.tv videos I appeared in (Reason Saves Cleveland) into such a personal attack against me.  I want to assure you, though, that despite being told “Screw You” in a headline and “shut the hell up,” I hold no grudge or animosity towards yourself or anyone else there at the Scene. Seriously, no hard feelings. It’s important to me that you know that. Believe me, I heard much worse from fans of The Price Is Right after I took over for Bob Barker. Much, much worse.

That said, I’m sure that the chip on your shoulder wouldn’t have been such a plank had you known the following facts about me.

Not only was I born and raised in Cleveland, but I still own the house that I grew up in. That’s right, I’m a homeowner in the city of Cleveland. I also pay property taxes on that home, utility bills, upkeep, you name it. In fact, between me and my family, someone named Carey has been paying taxes on that property for over half a century. And as a homeowner and taxpayer, I have every right to speak up about what goes on here. Further, my entire professional life has been tied to my love of Cleveland. So between all that I have a lot of skin in the game, you know?

And even if I didn’t still own a house in Cleveland and pay taxes on it, the day I stop caring about my city will be the day I die. I’m 216 to the bone, man. I’ve always loved Cleveland. Always have, always will. Nothing makes me prouder than being from Cleveland. I just want things to be better than they are right now and was trying to help. If that makes you sad, well then, I don’t know what to tell you. Prepare for a life of sadness, I guess.

Blessings to you and your family, and much success with your life and the Cleveland Scene. May every nightclub in Cleveland buy an ad.

Sincerely,Drew Carey

I forwarded Carey’s letter to my father, a former journalist and current libertarian. “That’s a really nice e-mail,” Dad wrote back. “I hope that in replying, you felt a least a little guilty about the attack.”

Only a little. And not for reasons related to the substance of my complaint.

In hindsight, I see one mistake: I did not give Carey enough credit for sincerity. I’ve never doubted that he still cares deeply about Cleveland, and that he participated in the “Reason Saves Cleveland” project with the best of intentions. Nor did I make it clear that I respect that. But I didn’t question his motives, only his judgment.

Full disclosure: I’m a progressive — or liberal, if you like — and not likely to see eye to eye with libertarians on economic issues. I’m also from Philadelphia, where hostility is a reflex. So when I first heard about the “Reason Saves Cleveland” series in a report on WCPN, my reaction was, “Who the hell does he think he is?”

I watched the videos anyway. More than once, and with an open mind. (Dad’s influence: Debate vigorously, but always allow for the possibility that you’re wrong.) Sadly, however, I came away more angry.

Not because Reason presented libertarian views — that’s its mission, I get that — but because it did so in such a disingenuous and cavalier way. Supporters of Reason‘s proposed solutions are interviewed at length — in the segment on privatization, for example, one of the key voices is that of a lawyer who represents businesses seeking privatization opportunities.

That’s not an attempt at discourse. That’s an infomercial. Say what you will about Michael Moore, he is upfront about his agenda and does not ignore opposing points of view — indeed, stalking sacred cows with a knife and fork is the heart of his shtick.

The privatization segment also lauds Chicago’s experiment with privatizing parking meters. Never once does it indicate how wildly controversial the deal has been (visit chicagoreader.com to read that paper’s 2009 three-part investigation into the secrecy of the rushed process and the lawsuits that resulted) or the likelihood that it’s going to result in skyrocketing meter rates. Overlooking all of that in order to push privatization as one possible cure for what ails Cleveland is not just intellectually dishonest, it’s insulting. The other segments — even the one I generally agreed with, about big-ticket development deals on the public’s dime — are equally lopsided.

Many of those who responded to my column noted that they didn’t see me proposing solutions to Cleveland’s most serious problems. That’s exactly my point: There are no simple solutions. And remember, it’s not me who set the bar high, it’s the folks at Reason, who promised to “save” us but ultimately offered only self-serving rhetoric.

So surely Drew and the folks at Reason won’t mind if I offer some of my own. Stripped of the earnest veneer, the underlying message of the video series is this: “Give up, Cleveland. Stop trying to govern yourselves, because you clearly aren’t smart enough. Turn over as much as you can to the private sector, and trust it to deliver better service at lower cost than those unionized civil servants. Sure, businesses have been abandoning you for decades, and the resulting job loss is at the root of all of your problems. But if you promise to change, some of them just might come back.”

Some embrace this pitch (see letter below). Forgive my Cleveland pride, but screw that.

But hey, Drew, no hard feelings. Seriously. You’re a classy guy, and it’d be my pleasure to buy you a beer next time you’re in town. I won’t even try to convince you to stop palling around with people who think so little of your hometown. OK, maybe a little.

The Rotting City You’ve Created

It occurred to me as soon as I heard Drew Carey was taking time to try and educate Clevelanders about the superiority of free markets. Oh shit, I told friends, just wait until the leftist mouthpieces of the Cleveland media get a hold of this one! But wait: would they really do a hatchet job on one of the few beloved, famous Clevelanders left alive? One who escaped this backward, quasi-socialist hellhole to build a successful career for himself, just as he’s trying to help the people still stuck there? Are the propagandists at Scene and Plain Dealer really that bloodthirsty? That blinded by ideology?

Of course you are. I should never have doubted you. So Scene, stick with your bigger government, bigger unions, anti-school choice, anti-business agenda. It’s obviously worked so well for the poor people of Cleveland over the past 40 years.

It’s forced private enterprise to flee our ruthless taxation and despicable Democratic corruption. And as the businesses and entrepreneurs have left for locales more hospitable to profits and success, they’ve taken all the jobs with them. But you don’t understand that, do you?

Drew does, but when he tries to make his case to the people, you shit all over him.

Just keep your feet pressed down on the throats of Cleveland’s urban poor, who, thanks to you, will never have a chance at a decent education or a high-paying professional career. As long as you sustain Cleveland’s national reputation as a left-wing cesspool that’s hostile to capitalism, the decades-old cycle of decline and deterioration will keep grinding on. And you’ll sit there at your keyboards, pounding out missives against corporate greed. Hysterical, yet profoundly sad. You deserve to wallow in the rotting city you’ve created. Fuck you, Scene.

David Kolpak

Westlake

flewis@clevescene.com

4 replies on “DREW PART 2”

  1. Hey Frank,
    Thanks for printing my note. Sounds like you could learn a lot from your Dad, and a lot about humility and class from Drew Carey. When you get past your mid 20s and outgrow this “I’ve-got-to-reject-my-father’s-politics-and-prove-I’m-my-own-man” phase, you’ll look back and realize you’ve been blessed with a wise and, apparently, very patient father.
    Maybe you’ll even come to see that his Libertarian views are based on an infinitely broader base of wisdom–about how the world actually works–than you possess right now. And finally, you’ll feel a hot blush of shame whenever you re-read your hit piece on Mr. Carey. But that’s all part of growing up. Good luck to you. DK

  2. This is the article Lewis should have written the first time. I posted a comment to the first article saying how bad it was in its attacks on Drew Carey. This one is a discussion of the ideas and the presentation, which is the function of good journalism. While the Scene is a free newspaper and the journalism standards may be relaxed, there is no reason to make personal attacks on sincere people. And trying to say you never doubted Carey’s intentions when the cover said “Hey Drew, Screw You” and you called the article “The Ass is Wrong” is hard to believe. You dug yourself partway out by writing a second article that is fair, but your Dad is write, you should feel guilty.

  3. DK, I’m 20 years past my 20s, and you’re the one who needs to grow up. My father and I could not be more diametrically opposed politically, and yet we can talk for hours because we’re willing to listen to each other — not turn the other into caricature like you did in your responses to me. And now you’re going to try to sound reasonable? Too little, too late, you’re still an arrogant asshole. (By the way, I printed your note because it makes you look far worse than I ever could. Dumb ass.)

  4. I read Reason on a regular basis. I moved to the area from South Florida. I consider myself progressive. I do not want the government telling me how to live my life, unless I ask them for help, then, I want them in charge.

    I watched each episode of RSC on Nick Gillespie’s Facebook page, as I have been his Facebook friend for a while. I commented each day, but got no response.

    The series was beyond one sided and biased. The first episode, that speaks of our prime in the 50s, makes no mention of the migration trend to the south from the rust belt, but suggests Cleveland is unique. We all know there is nothing unique about the manufacturing base of our country resulting in a southern migration and now an overseas or cross border departure of those jobs.

    The episode about the schools, neglected to mention the many charter schools we have operating, or the study cited in Freakonmics about children whose parents strive to get them into charter schools doing well even if they do not make it into charter schools. When Cleveland is regularly listed as one of the poorest cities in the nation, what do we expect our schools to be able to do to overcome this adversity? The system is undergoing a radical transformation, but we can not expect miracles, but hopefully we will see more success stories.

    As far as the city running the West Side Market and golf courses. The West Side Market should be turned over to a private management company to be run. What do other cities do with their similar properties? Seattle’s market, New York’s Pier, Boston’s Faneuil Hall, etc. The golf courses offer an opportunity for all to play golf at a reasonable cost. While private golf courses in the area are becoming public or closing because of fewer rounds being played, the city of Euclid rebuilt their golf course facility and now have a private management company running it. We’ll see how this turns out and if it works, perhaps Cleveland can follow.

    Cleveland news media and leaders love to talk about the “brain drain.” I moved here from South Florida. Via Facebook, I am in touch with my high school classmates (it’s time for our 30th reunion). The bulk of my classmates no longer live in the area. I never hear South Florida complain about about “brain drain.” I recently judged a science fair in my child’s school. The room of judges contained scientists, doctors, professors and other professionals. I asked for a show of hands to determine who had grown up in the region. The vast majority were from other parts of the nation or the world.

    It’s time we become reasonable and realize our future does not lie in simple solutions. Our future lies in accepting change and embracing it.

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