Naked Ladies & Chicken

Some scalding hot chicks stripped naked for an important cause last week, bearing all outside a KFC restaurant on Carnegie Avenue. The women were apparently representatives of an advertising agency called PETA, which had been hired to increase the sales of KFC's tasty Buffalo Snacker. The display attracted plenty of local media, although most of the reporters seemed less interested in the women's important message than their scrumptious thighs, legs, and biscuits. Punch, however, covered the event in hopes of helping the women spread knowledge as if it was a delicious faux butter. In fact, we got there so early that we got an exclusive interview with the group's spokeswoman, Nicole Matthew. "So, you're getting naked, huh?" Punch asked thoughtfully. Matthews, who's hotter than a Famous Bowl, explained at length the serious issues that brought her and her cohorts to Cleveland. But the waft of an original-recipe three-piece permeate the bustling corner; Punch wasn't listening. "So, um, naked, eh?" we followed up. Matthews then joined two other women inside a wrap-around sign, where they slipped out of their sweat suits and began pacing the sidewalk, saying stuff. The women appeared to be making a real impact. "I got some Snackers, I came out here, and I watched," said one onlooker, huddled with his friends in the KFC parking lot. "It was a good day." "You wanna know my thoughts?" added a friend, obviously moved by the women's display. "I like the one on the left." -- Joseph P. Tone, Ace Reporter
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