The stupid Browns dashed last year’s Perfect Season parade plans with a win in the penultimate game of the 2016 campaign, squeaking by the Chargers 20-17 at the Factory of Sadness before ending the season at a lovely 1-15 mark. One had to assume that was as low as the Hue Jackson/Sashi Brown boat was going to go, but here we are staring down an 0-7 start, another QB carousel, and a season-ending injury to Iron Man Joe Thomas as the USS Haslam scrapes the bottom of Lake Erie once again in search of fresh depths of ineptitude.

Which means it’s time to start planning the Perfect Season 2.0 parade and celebration. Donations are now open here to take care of assorted costs for the affair (security, bathrooms, etc.), which is tentatively slated for January 6, 2018, around First Energy Stadium. And just like last year, Chris McNeil (aka @reflog_18) has promised that all contributions will be donated to the Cleveland Food Bank should the Browns do the unthinkable and pull off a victory.

This article appears in Oct 18-24, 2017.

Vince Grzegorek has been with Scene since 2007 and editor-in-chief since 2012. He previously worked at Discount Drug Mart and Texas Roadhouse.

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