Chris Maag goes pro
A recent article about Cleveland surfers — you know, those dudes who brave hypothermia and feces to catch waves not unlike those at the YMCA lap pool — is holding steady as the most-emailed story on New York Times web site. The story, penned by one Christopher Maag, is what literary experts might call “some…
This just in: Concerts
Young Jeezy takes on Wolstein Center December 14 A late all-star hip-hop show heads up this week’s concert announcements: Rising star Young Jeezy, O.G. Busta Rhymes, Miami kingpin Rick Ross, and their friends play CSU’s Wolstein Center Thursday, December 14. If ticket sales are a reliable indicator, the cast of High School Musical might be…
Holiday party nights
Compared to Halloween, Christmas doesn’t have a big rep as a party night for clubs. But if you know where to look — like right here. Here’s a quick rundown of holiday throwdowns from Thursday, December 14 through Wednesday, December 20. Stay tuned for more. ROCK Fri., December 15 Gypsy and Christmas party Wexler’s Tavern…
Carl Monday masturbation T-shirts
Just in time for holiday shopping… The official Carl Monday is Watching You Masturbate T-shirt is now available online from Robot Monkey Pirate — motto: “You’re never gonna be a nerd hipster with that attitude.” The lightweight cotton tee goes for $12.99. And for an additional 3 bucks, you can get the deluxe edition, complete…
More adventures with Carl Monday
Carl Monday, on the hunt for nefarious villains Carl Monday, fresh out of library wankers to jerk around, took to the streets again last week, this time in search of a new breed of hell-bound citizen: smokers. Convinced nicotine-addicted Clevelanders wouldn’t be able to resist lighting up in bars, Monday took his hidden cameras inside…
Smoking for Soccer?
Why do smokers always have to pay for dainty stuff, like a sport played by Posh Spice’s husband? As if Ohio’s new smoking ban wasn’t bad enough, Summit County is now launching yet another attack on nicotine lovers by forcing them to pay for a professional soccer stadium. If the County Council approves the measure…
Holiday Party Excuse Generator
The fabulous Holiday Party Excuse Generator is perfect for skirting invitations from losers, like this guy ‘Tis the season to party, unless, of course, that party is being thrown by annoying co-workers or pesky neighbors — or you’re simply too hung over from the last bash to make it to the next. In that case,…
A transvestite Nazi murderer?
What’s wrong with you guys these days? A miniskirt wearing, hairy legged, gun toting man next to a urinal is your idea of a cover story feature? (“Cheating Death,” December 6.) Two things immediately come to mind — 1.) Why? and 2.) Who cares! If I was one of your “normal” advertisers, I’d be pissed.…
The Personal Files of Judson Laipply
Before Judson Laipply, YouTube’s first star and the subject of last week’s Scene story “Dancing Machine” became the dancing phenom he is today, he once toured the country as the Dating Doctor, giving advice to college students about dating and relationships. Funny thing is, Laipply was never quite the dating machine he portrayed himself to…
Sammy Takes a Swing at City Hall!
Fulwood Watch Exclusive! Headline: Jackson should be our regional leader Date: December 7, 2006 Topic: Apparently upset that a year under Frank Jackson hasn’t transformed Cleveland from rust-bucket cesspool to Hefner’s hot tub, Sam finds his faith in the city’s mayor tested. The result? A flabby struggle of mind versus soul — all because F-Jack’s…
Attention: Libidinally driven men!
The controversial morning-after-pill, quite possibly the best invention since the Model T, is now available over-the-counter at pharmacies across the country. This means no matter where you are in America, you can knock up your girlfriend and A) never have that awkward conversation where you say you’d love to be a father if it weren’t…
Bruce Bundy’s history of rock
Jefferson Airplane When a rocker’s days of selling out hockey rinks are long behind him, he finds himself playing the Winchester in Lakewood. Located on Madison Avenue, out past the Dickey-Grabler Co., the Winchester’s leather bucket seats and brass handrails smack of the hard-rock ’70s, when bar bands not DJs filled Cleveland nightclubs full of…
Canceled Cameras
Tuesday’s Hidden Cameras show at the Grog Shop has been canceled. The band’s publicist explains, “Visa issues are preventing them from crossing into the US.” — D.X. Ferris
Report: Buckeyes Crowned Champs
Once again, the World’s Funniest Newspaper proves its greatness by stating the obvious. In a story headlined: “BCS Determines No Team Worthy of Facing Ohio State In Championship Game,” The Onion explains that a Buckeye victory is so secure, there’s no need to even play. “No team in America deserves to even step on the…
Pretenders Opener Announced
Cleveland’s Living Stereo will open the Pretenders’ show at the Agora Sunday night. Living Stereo plays hot indie pop that’ll make you shake your butt blissfully. They have a keyboardist who gives the band a retro-’80s feel, like a shot of Toni Basil’s “Mickey.” But mostly, they rock. Show starts at 8. Pretenders, we’re told,…
Beautiful Christmas Jazz & Longwinded TV Talk
The whole point of this posting is to direct you to some fine Christmas jazz, but we’re starting off by talking about a couple TV shows. Stick with us. Or feel free to skip to the fifth paragraph. We’re ambivalent about NBC’s Monday night drama Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Note that we didn’t…
Celebrity Bowling
About 500 VIPs swilled back beer and wine on Thursday night for the grand opening of the Corner Alley at East 4th Street and Euclid Avenue. Celebs who noshed on prime rib, roasted turkey, and jumbo shrimp ranged from Cleveland City Council President Martin Sweeney and Republic Bank VP Mike Dostal to the alley’s general…
Christmas With R. Kelly
We’re huge fans of R. Kelly’s five-part “Trapped in the Closet,” in which everybody’s favorite R&B golden-shower enthusiast — over the course of a five-song mini-opera — commits adultery, has a showdown with an enraged husband and his gay lover, and finds out that his own wife has been cheating on him. Now, just in…
The Truth According to Kevin O’Brien
If only newspapers weren’t such sticklers about keeping their news and opinion walled off from one another. Maybe then more readers would have had the pleasure of reading Plain Dealer op-ed writer Kevin O’Brien’s recent column on global warning. You’ll have to read it yourself; the concept is too groundbreaking to attempt to recreate by…
Free chicken!
Officials expect a big turnout for the early-morning meeting of The Pathetic Losers Club, scheduled to take place in the parking lot at 4779 Great Northern Blvd. in North Olmsted, on Thursday, Dec. 14. Plenty of fun workshops are on tap, including Picking the Right Gift for Your Cat, and Fifty Sure-Fire Tips for Avoiding…
Off-Color Christmas
Cleveland comedian Mike Head’s routine may bowl over fans at the Improv or Hilarities East 4th. But it didn’t play at his Monday-night show at the Lorain Palace Theatre. The Lorain Community Music Theatre hired Head to emcee a choral festival at which 30 high school choirs from Admiral King, Elyria, Vermilion and other high…
The Best of the Pretenders
Leftover from Scene’s Pretenders story: Area music types talk about their favorite songs. Bill “Mr. Stress” Miller, former leader of the Mr. Stress Blues Band, currently with Alan Greene. One of the Cleveland fixtures referenced in “Precious”: “I liked ‘My City Was Gone.’ That’s how a lot of us who grew up in Cleveland in…
Joan Jett on Chrissie Hynde
In honor of Chrissie Hynde’s return to the Agora Sunday December 10, Scene talked to some local figures about Hydne’s enduring influence over her hometown. We also talked to Joan Jett, but her comments didn’t get in the story. Here’s what one of the great females in rock has to say about the other: “Chrissie…
Chimaira’s Online Gig
Cleveland metal heroes Chimaira will appear live at 8 p.m. tonight on MusicPlusTV.com. IM the band via AOL IM – MusicPlusTV. Chimaira’s seventh annual Christmas party is set for Wednesday, December 27, at the House of Blues in Cleveland. The bill includes Jersey neo-thrashers Demirocus, Cleveland metal teens Forever in Terror, and Cle-metal legends Bowel.…
Rolling Stone’s Fresh New Waste of Time
As if there weren’t already enough ways to waste time online, Rolling Stone reports this week that Wolfgang’s Vault, the rock memorabilia website, recently began streaming hundreds of classic concerts online — for free. The shows go as far back as a 1967, pre-“My Ding-a-Ling” performance by Chuck Berry, and include performances by the Who,…
Christmas Concerts
Compared to Halloween, Christmas doesn’t have a big rep as a party night for clubs. But if you know where to look — like, right here — you’ll find the city’s best list of Christmas events, from smooth jazz to rap-rock, from Chimaira’s very metal Christmas to drag shows. Make the yuletide gay! Here’s a…
Frye: Not the Guy This Week
Frye? Frye? Not this week. Please. Only in Cleveland could an entire populace root against the health of its starting quarterback. That’s the situation we’re faced with ever since Charlie Frye banged-up his right wrist Sunday just in time for unheralded backup Derek Anderson to lead an improbable overtime victory against the Chiefs. Of course,…
Kent State Reverses Course
On November 30, Kent State President Lester Lefton announced the school would be getting rid of winter and summer commencement ceremonies, due to the wishes of the student body. That means everyone, regardless of when they actually finish their degree requirements, would receive their diplomas during the new official graduation ceremony in the spring. Tuesday,…
Busch goes hunting
On Saturday, I decided to stop by my friendly Citgo to pick up a case of beer — a little something to help numb the pain of watching the Cavs get slaughted by the Houston Rockets. As I reach into the cooler to grab my faithful 12-pack of Miller Lite, I look to my right…
Editor’s Note: We apologize for the previous post
Most experienced outdoorsmen know that beer makes you shoot better Dear Reader: Please accept our deepest apologies for the previous post. Normally, company policy precludes allowing anyone who drinks Miller Lite from weighing on such matters of import as guns and liquor. However, the night watchman apparently fell asleep and failed to be vigilant in…
The Great Pretender
Northeast Ohio has nurtured some true rock legends, but the area’s most significant export might be Akron native Chrissie Hynde. Consider this: Hynde and her band, the Pretenders, have moved more records than the one-hit wonders in Devo and long outlasted the mighty James Gang. Bridging the gap between vintage rock and roll and snotty…
+44
You know what would fucking rule? If the rhythm section from Blink-182 formed this high-concept, prog-noise band — just this snarling, multitentacled behemoth of a group boasting six guitars, two drum kits, a bassoon, 11/8 time signatures, and Bushido stage costumes. Yeah, well, they didn’t do that. What Mark Bassist and Travis Drummer did do…
Happy Holiday of Your Choice
The Maltz Museum opens its doors to all races and religions at today’s Family Day: Celebrate the Season event. In addition to making Hanukkah candles, participants can put together their own Christmas ornaments and Kwanzaa kinaras. Holiday foods from around the globe will be served. Sun., Dec. 10, 1-4 p.m.
Raising the Handel Bar
It’s been two years since Apollo’s Fire performed Handel’s Messiah and four years since Jeannette Sorrell conducted it. When the baroque orchestra and its music director perform the holiday favorite this weekend, they’re doing so out of affection, not obligation. “It’s important to us to keep it fresh,” says Sorrell. Her interpretation of the score…
Congregation of Freaks
“Modern-rock radio, the way that they master their music, they make it sound so loud, but really crappy,” says Hidden Cameras frontman Joel Gibb. Part of the Toronto indie-rock community that also includes Broken Social Scene, the Cameras play what Gibb once described as “gay church folk music.” Other writers keep recycling the phrase because…
Taylor Hicks
The fifth season of American Idol produced the series’ most confounding victor yet: Taylor Hicks, the baby-faced, gray-haired growler who was neither quick to fizzle (Ruben) nor triumph (Carrie). Instead, Hicks’ chicken-bucket baritone shilled for Ford and inspired Weird Al parodies — all before the guy issued his first LP. For this self-titled package, the…
Let Freedom Sing
Ever since Bulgaria kicked its Communist dictator to the curb in 1989, the gals in Le Myste des Voix Bulgares have learned that freedom of speech is a beautiful thing. To make their point, the choir’s 23 members let loose a concert of hypnotic chants at the Shrine Church of St. Stanislaus this afternoon. “They…
A Tale of Twin Cities
Two songs in and we’re already at the racetrack, where she keeps on betting and keeps on winning. She, by the way, is the same trashy, troublesome girl with a taste for bad relationships and prescription pills that we met in the previous tune. Our friend here thinks he’s in love with her, even though…
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
For at least a dozen years, Neil Young fans heard rumors of this album’s release. Originally intended to be an addendum to a never-released, 10-disc boxed set, Live at the Fillmore East 1970 is the first chance many diehards have to hear Crazy Horse live with original guitarist Danny Whitten, who died of a heroin…
French Connections
All French artist Walter Sauermann had to do was step out his back door to capture the views seen in his contributions to La Cachette Gallery’s New Paintings From Europe. A dozen pieces depict the forests and lakes surrounding Sauermann’s Normandy home studio. “It’s a wonderful place to landscape, because there are lots of motifs…
Slamming Foxxy
In an age of mega-corporate sponsorships, the grassroots novelty of the Foxxy Tour cannot be overemphasized. Foxxy, an Amherst-based beverage company, sets up an Ohio-only package tour, spotlighting the local hip-hop talent in each city it stops at. It sounds like a throwback to ’20s and ’30s marketing, when bluesmen and country crooners drove across…
The Walkmen
The Walkmen recorded Pussy Cats Starring the Walkmen as a spontaneous send-off to their Brooklyn studio, a building slated for demolition. To that we say, Who cares? With the exception of a few songs off its past two albums, including “The Rat” and “Louisiana,” Pussy Cats stands as the band’s best work since its debut,…
Raise a Glass
This weekend’s holiday-themed Tannenbaum Trail event is all about turning wine novices into aficionados. The self-guided tour stops at a number local wineries located within close proximity to one another. “So there’s instant success in becoming an expert,” says Donniella Winchell, executive director of the Ohio Wine Producers Association. @cal body 1:Participants start at any…
Playing Dead
Dead Even, Scene readers’ heavy metal band of the year for 2005 and 2006, will break up following its final show at Peabody’s (2083 East 21st Street) on Thursday, December 28. “We felt it dying out,” admits singer J.C. Koszewski. “Our focus wasn’t in it. We decided to end it before it faded away –…
Various Artists
Starbucks peddles more than gingerbread lattes during the holiday season. The omnipresent coffeehouse also issues one of the more reliable Christmas compilations. But unlike previous editions, Santa Baby doesn’t emphasize the kitsch. Though it still maintains the series’ hip mix of the old and new — despite such missteps as Sarah McLachlan’s warbly tribute to…
Discount Head Trip
Music and film collide at tonight’s Moca Mix: Jeremy Bible performs electronic music, Infinite Number of Sounds show off their cut-and-paste skills, and filmmaker Kasumi debuts her new work, Deep Brain Stimulation. The local artist — whose collaboration with DJ Spooky was a highlight of this year’s Ingenuity Festival — combines live music and video…
Fire on the Dance Floor
After 14 years in New York City, DJ Bells Nichols recently returned to Cleveland and found the local clubs in sorry shape. “Your average clubgoer wants to play it safe,” he says, pointing to the preponderance of stripper cages and HDTVs. His weekly Dandylion gigs at Touch focus on music. “We take fresh tracks from…
Capsule reviews of current area theater presentations.
Aphrodisiac — That beltway stud Henry Kissinger knew what he was talking about when he said power is the ultimate aphrodisiac (though imagining Hammerin’ Hank in full rut is another issue altogether). But the sex scandals of the powerful in D.C. move quickly, and a play based on the ultimately tragic affair between Congressman Gary…
Gene Bertoncini Trio
Music critics tend to diss the cool jazz, but just because cats like Dave Brubeck and Stan Getz never breathed fire doesn’t mean they lacked vigor and emotional commitment. Take guitarist Gene Bertoncini, for example; a master inventor, Bertoncini’s refined approach to acoustic and electric axes swings elegantly and exhilarates even at the lowest of…
Lovedrug
Wounded creatures can be the most dangerous. Take Lovedrug: The Canton group’s elaborate indie pop, featuring frontman Matthew Shepard’s warbly, high-pitched croon and lead piano, sounds tougher than most modern rock. Not only does his take on Nirvana’s “Heart Shaped Box” invite comparisons to Jeff Buckley, it also sounds as disarmingly fractured as the original.…
Stargazer Soundtrack
Not many physicists can say they’ve soloed with an orchestra. This weekend, Case Western Reserve prof Lawrence Krauss gets the chance when he presents an astronomy-centered narrative while the Cleveland Orchestra performs Gustav Holst’s The Planets. NASA footage accompanies the action. Holst’s suite comprises seven movements, one for each planet other than Earth. It was…
Capsule reviews of current area art exhibitions.
NEW Passione — Two prominent manifestations of Giancarlo Calicchia’s multifaceted personality — sculpture and painting — are on display here. They’re both fascinating, and together they form an overdue first look at a Cleveland treasure worth wider attention. Calicchia’s background as a master woodcarver and stonemason (Calicchia Stone Industries created the Tower City RTA Station)…
The Parlour Boys
The Parlour Boys rock out with the hunger and originality that the Killers and Franz Ferdinand used to have. Of course, we said the same thing of fellow Kentucky dance-rockers VHS or Beta, but they still can’t afford a private jet either. Yet with only a self-titled EP and the ability to supply interviewers with…
Bizzy Bone
If the three albums he’s dropped this year haven’t kept you Bizzy enough, then a live DVD from the estranged Bone Thugs-N-Harmony MC should be just the thing. Unfortunately, that volume of product suggests Bizzy’s become a fans-only proposition, and this amalgam of two live shows from 2005 (one of them a hometown gig at…
A Karamu Christmas
Karamu’s production of Black Nativity opens tonight, and if you’ve never seen this annual favorite, do yourself a favor and check it out. It’s one of the area’s best seasonal offerings. Cleveland Contemporary Theatre dancers Michael Medcalf and Kathleen Turner star as Joseph and Mary in Langston Hughes’ musical telling of the birth of Jesus…
A Masterpiece on Canvas
Rocky: 2-Disc Collector’s Edition (MGM) An old TV commercial for Rocky included here compares Sylvester Stallone to Pacino, De Niro, and Brando — and though we now know this to be pure madness, it’s easy to see what inspired it. Sure, Stallone (who also wrote the Oscar-nominated screenplay) slowly destroyed Rocky’s legacy during his rise…
Zox
Jumping on the white-boy-does-reggae bandwagon, Zox guarantees to get the girls of Delta Gamma grooving to Sublime-reminiscent songs like “Thirsty.” Or better yet, they just might find themselves singing along to the sweet introspections of singer Eli Miller. But seriously, folks, Zox’s second album, The Wait, covers a lot of ground. Just when soft violin…
Tastes of the Holidays
In an uncertain universe, one fact stands out as indisputable: Your friends love to eat. And as the holidays descend upon us, what could make for better gifting than comestibles with a local touch? Here’s a roundup of some culinary creations that have earned a spot on our list this year. All of them have…
Outsider Art
The 13 pieces on display at the Beck Center’s Creative Concepts: A Visual Arts Exhibit, were created by clients of the Cuyahoga County Board of Mental Retardation and Developmental Disabilities. The works are a complex and varied lot, ranging from colorful paintings to multi-textured sculptures that provide insight into their creators’ sometimes-fractured thoughts. Mondays-Fridays, 10…
All Dressed Up . . .
I did not have to fend off a horde of bloodthirsty geeks for my PS3. And nobody shot me either, as one hapless Connecticut gamer was. Actually, I just preordered my console weeks ago, and on the day it came out, I walked into the store, paid for it, and walked out. It took 10…
Parts & Labor
The name implies a no-bullshit, blue-collar attitude, and the band’s press photos exude an industrious, Amish vibe. But don’t be deceived: Parts & Labor will thwack you with advanced-degree math rock anytime. The New York trio has macheted its way through Brooklyn’s dense thicket of vapid hipsters and talent-deficient trustafarians, forging a high-impact, high-energy sound…
Say It With Diamonds?
“T.I.A.,” mutters Danny Archer (Leonardo DiCaprio), slouched across a bar in Sierra Leone. It is 1999. As the West obsesses over Clinton’s blowjob, the West African nation is mired in a savage civil war. Our hero, a world-weary soldier of fortune, has struck up a conversation with Maddy Bowen (Jennifer Connelly), a foxy idealist reporting…
Fall Out Boy Friends
Think of Chicago’s Hush Sound as emo’s version of Ben Folds Five. Super-catchy pop that bursts with bouncy piano riffs masking some mighty bitter and gloomy sentiments, the band’s latest album, Like Vines, swerves from jaunty pop tunes to melancholic ballads. The group was discovered by Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz, who signed it to…
Our top DVD picks for the week of December 5:
The Architect (Magnolia) Beerfest: Unrated (Warner Bros.) Charlie Chan Collection, Volume 2 (Fox) Coma Girl (Cinequest) The Conformist: Special Collector’s Edition (Paramount) Dinosaur Valley Girls: Mammoth Edition (Cinema Epoch) Dungeons & Dragons: The Complete Animated Series (Brentwood) Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton: The Film Collection (Warner Bros.) Gwen Stefani: Harajuku Lovers Live (Interscope) High School…
Holst: The Planets
Humanity teeters on the edge of self-annihilation because it no longer takes space travel seriously. Viewing Earth from outer space, where our planet resembles just a single organism, would surely transform everyone on this planet into peaceful citizens of the universe. Of course, that sounds far fuckin’ out, but that’s exactly the message we’ll be…
Mauled by Mel
Apocalypto has a faux Greek title and an opening quote from an historian that ruminates on the decline of imperial Rome. It may seem an odd way to comment on the supposed end of an imaginary, unspeakably barbaric Mayan civilization — but WWJD? Mel Gibson means to be universal. Not just a walk in the…
Ho-Ho-Hafner
Travis Hafner trades his Tribe uniform for a Santa cap today to play Pronkta Claus at a breakfast buffet at Jacobs Field. “He loves to do anything for the kids,” says team spokesman Curtis Danfield. Accompanied by mascot Slider, Hafner will sign autographs, pose for pictures, and hand out gifts. Kids can also have their…
Here are the week’s best releases from the pop-culture universe:
CD — Live at the Fillmore East: Neil Young has been promising to open his vast archives for more than two decades now. This single-disc concert from 1970 heralds the first volume in the long-gestating series. Backed by a ferocious Crazy Horse, Young tears through six songs, most of them from the excellent Everybody Knows…
The Lemonheads
The Lemonheads seemingly limped across the finish line in 1996, when the band released its last album, Car Button Cloth. By then, main man Evan Dando spent more time dealing with personal demons than actually making music. The situation didn’t change with Baby I’m Bored, Dando’s boring solo disc from 2003. But fast forward to…
Woman’s Glib
From its wink-wink, nudge-nudge movie-within-a-movie opening through to its bold-faced quoting of such classic Hollywood farces as The Lady Eve and His Girl Friday, Nancy Meyers’ The Holiday wants us to know that it’s different from the kind of romantic comedy pablum that fills the multiplexes these days. And it is different; it’s a special…
Rock of Faith
The irony isn’t lost on Corey Glover. The man who co-wrote and sang “Cult of Personality” with the band Living Colour is playing Judas in the touring production of Jesus Christ Superstaris about, as Glover says, “the ultimate cult of personality.” Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice’s hippie-era musical about Jesus marks the first time…
Cheating Death
The buses kept coming. As each slowed to a stop, Brendan Sheehan scanned the glowing windows for his father. But he only saw strangers. His dad, the maintenance supervisor at Cleveland State, was never late. And he surely wouldn’t be tonight. It was Brendan’s 15th birthday, and Tim Sheehan was taking the family to dinner.…
Christmastime with Michael W. Smith
Jesus is just all right with contemporary Christian heartthrob and keyboard wizard Michael W. Smith. And while Smitty might resemble a former member of Color Me Badd, he’s successfully ruled the Christian music charts for more then 20 years now, selling in excess of 13 million records. Despite his hectic schedule, Smith recently made his…
Hometown Legend
They say youse can never go home again. Nevertheless, Queens-bred big-timer Dito Montiel revisits his old Astoria stomping grounds in A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, a Sundance-sanctioned testosterone indie loosely based on the thirtysomething writer-director and occasional fashion model’s neo-Beat semiautobiography of the same name. Montiel may be a singular talent — maker of…
The End Is Near
As 1300 Gallery prepares for its swan song next week, tonight marks the penultimate exhibit in its string of one-day shows. Leave ‘Em Wanting More #2 features the work of three local artists, all longtime favorites at 1300. Stephen Kasner contributes mixed media on paper and canvas, Douglas Utter shows off mixed-paint media works, and…
Dancing Machine
Judson Laipply is the kind of person who could only be a star in the YouTube era. The gawky, pasty-faced 30-year-old looks nothing like a Hollywood idol. His jeans are a bit too short, his T-shirt too snug. Though his gelled hair is starting to recede, he still wouldn’t look out of place on a…
Marshall Crenshaw
Power-pop lovers, snap to it. Marshall Crenshaw is a-rarin’ to be-bop all over you, with a pair of checkerboard shoes. Ever since he hit No. 36 on Billboard with 1982’s “Something’s Gonna Happen,” the skinny-tie pub-rocker has been a favorite of . . . well . . . of the kind of folks who like…
Future Imperfect
Animated features have become the most tireesome dish available in the theater buffet line — more so than even the mopey art-house offerings in which bad things happen to good people while string sections and Elliott Smith sound-alikes douse the soundtrack with dollops of calamity and sorrow. You can’t tell one cartoon from the next;…
The Rock Stopped Here
In Cleveland Rock & Roll Memories, Carlo Wolff takes an anecdotal look at local music over the past half-century. The book — subtitled True and Tall Tales of the Glory Days, Told by the Musicians, DJs, Promoters, and Fans Who Made the Scene in the ’60s, ’70s, and ’80s (whew!) — chronicles everything from WMMS’…
Grudge Match
Last week, Democratic statehouse leaders accused The Plain Dealer’s editorial board of nursing a grudge against them. In a letter to editorial chief Brent Larkin, Senators C.J. Prentiss and Teresa Fedor objected to two recent shots. One piece was ostensibly about the hypocrisy of self-styled reformers giving the vacated Senate seat of Attorney General-elect Marc…
Pat Travers
Canadians walk among us, but unlike the Red Menace, these double agents mean us no harm . . . mostly. While our neighbors bequeathed us SCTV and Neil Young, they also subjected us to (gulp) Bryan Adams. Then again, old-school guitar-rock fans owe the Great White North big-time for Pat Travers, the veteran fretboard warrior…
Another Beauty
For all the constructive lessons that fairy tales give us, there can also be a downside. A prime example is Beauty and the Beast, which on one hand instructs wisely that we should look past superficial appearances to find the real goodness within a person. But how many little girls have grown into women who…
Feel Like a Nut?
If you’re craving a Nutcracker fix this season, you might as well see it performed by the best: The Cincinnati Ballet’s acclaimed version of the holiday perennial stops at Playhouse Square this weekend. Choreographer Val Caniparoli uses most of the basics — toy soldiers, a ginormous Christmas tree, and Tchaikovsky’s famous score. But all of…
Rocks in Their Heads
Idiot parents are killing Euclid: Last school year, my son had rocks and chunks of ice thrown at his head as he walked home from school. And not just once. What the fuck, Euclid? I’ve happily lived here for over a decade, but I’m watching it slowly change. And you know what? It’s not about…
Jerk
The good folks at the Beachland described Jerk as “an utterly bonkers noise-rock four-piece that sounds like I-90 crumbling before your very eyes,” and we’re hard-pressed to improve on that. But we’ll respectfully add this: The band features indie-rock notables culled from Roué, Thee Scarcity of Tanks, and the Perfect Guy. So they know how…
Gender Gyrations
There’s only one movie you can see that will get you pelted by toast. During The Rocky Horror Picture Show, that happens when one character proposes a toast and the audience members immediately and helpfully launch a Wonder Bread assault. When it comes to cult films, Rocky is the granddaddy of them all, replete with…
Unholy Humor
@cal body 1 no indent:An old adage claims that comedians are all frustrated rock stars. But stand-up comic Ted Alexandro is a frustrated jazz musician. He was majoring in jazz piano in college before comedy beckoned. Most of his material revolves around universal subjects — like politics and religion. “I received a blowjob from a…
Built to Steal
Two years ago, Dave “Artie” Austin was waiting at a Kmart checkout when he noticed a purse on the floor. “It was just filled with someone’s Christmas doughball,” he says — $300 to be exact. The kids were excited. When Dad’s an electrician for Local 38, a job where layoffs come in equal proportion to…
Jugoe CD release
At the Mercury Lounge, every Wednesday night is a great way to go over the hump. DJs Jugoe and Onit start the night with downtempo and Latin breaks, like choice Tito Puento remixes. As the night wears on, the tempo picks up, and by the time your buzz kicks in, they’re unleashing surefire dance tracks…
Game On
At today’s Yu-Gi-Oh! Open Play at the Lorain Public Library, longtime player Ernie Hernandez referees matches of the mega-popular Japanese card game. “The game promotes friendship, math skills, and decision-making,” he says. “It’s still evolving, but the most important thing is to have fun.” There are more than 2,000 registered duelists in Ohio; Hernandez ranks…
Solemn Vows
The Bridesmaid, by French director Claude Chabrol, is a masterfully told tale of a twentysomething salesman named Philippe, who spends most of his time juggling work and family. His hands are full pacifying upset clients and his distressed single mother, who frets over her three kids. When Philippe meets Senta (a mysterious young woman who…
