Cops Confiscate Lakewood Lady’s Arsenal; Motive Pending (Updated)
Update: Last month we brought you the story of Francesca Rice, an Iraq war veteran in Lakewood whose stockpile of licensed firearms was seized by cops. So Rice, whose service left her disabled, pursued justice the American way: By suing their ass. Since Scene first reported the story, Rice’s arsenal has been restocked and her…
Man Collecting Workers’ Comp Caught Working at Catering Business
Lifting bacon-wrapped shrimp is much less stressful on the back. In these penny-pinching times, there may be nothing more noble than the weary worker who pulls down two paychecks to make ends meet. The problem for Duane Funtash was that he was forbidden to work at all. The Painesville resident was receiving total disability benefits…
The Quality of Cleveland Life Report
Your guide to living in fabulous Cleveland. Off-Color Reference Desk: Cuyahoga County Public Library institutes new social media policy banning use of obscene language. Ruling unclear on tweets about the book Fuck: Word Taboo and Protecting Our First Amendment Liberties. Sexually Indeterminate Spartans: In order to provide equal opportunity to serve as mascot, Case Western…
Afternoon Brew: A $19.5 Million Mansion in Vermilion, More on the Buckeye Scandal at a Cleveland Charity, No Flash Mob Law in Elyria, and More Masturbating Deputy News
Good afternoon, Cleveland. Here’s some stuff to read while you figure out what the monthly payments on a $19,495,000 loan would be. — A $19.5 million mansion is up for sale in Vermilion. The kind of home you’d want to live in except for two key things: You can’t afford it, and it’s in Vermilion.…
Here’s the Proposed Ohio Redistricting Map
(Via Ohio Capital Blog)
Suburban Ohio Mom Detained After Flight on 9/11 Anniversary Describes Her Ordeal
The lead paragraphs on Monday from the Associated Press read thusly: Police temporarily detained and questioned three passengers at Detroit’s Metropolitan Airport on Sunday after the crew of the Frontier Airlines flight from Denver reported suspicious activity on board, and NORAD sent two F-16 jets to shadow the flight until it landed safely, airline and…
Slideshow and Recap: WRUW Studio-A-Rama
WRUW-91.1 FM threw its annual free concert bash, Studio-A-Rama, for the 30th year this weekend, attracting a mixed crowd of students, music scene veterans, and even some families and dogs to the Mather Building Courtyard on the Case Western Reserve campus. The college station broadcast the show live. Intermittent drizzle didn’t dampen the audience’s enthusiasm…
What Parking Lots Did to the Warehouse District
Via Drawing Nothing, the historic Warehouse District in the 1960s vs. today. Those surface parking lots just add the right touch, no? Ugh.
Slideshow and Recap: Garlic Fest
Despite a rainy Saturday-morning start, this weekend’s Garlic Fest on Shaker Square was a big hit, complete with live entertainment, arts & crafts, kids’ activities, and lots and lots of garlic. A preview brunch was delicious, with farm fresh eggs, tasty sweet-potato dinner rolls, locally made sausage, and home fries thick with minced garlic. Garlic…
Here is Ohio State’s “Throwback” Nike Uniform
Ohio State and a bunch of other colleges today unveiled special Nike Pro Combat uniforms they’ll wear for one game this season. On October 29 against Wisconsin, the Buckeyes will wear this get-up which supposedly “honors” the 1961 championship team. Of course, no one really recognizes the undefeated Buckeyes of that season as the actual…
Over 5,000 Apply for Jobs at Cleveland Casino
The Horseshoe Casino, Cleveland’s gaming mecca that will open next year, is one of the few places in hiring in Cleveland. 1,600 total positions will be filled by March of next year when Dan Gilbert’s casino flings open its doors to oxygen-toting grannies and the like. 500 of those jobs are for dealers and were…
Afternoon Brew: Yuengling Comes October 3, Akron Donates Big to New York, Peter Lawson Jones Acting, and an Asshole Robs the Elderly
Good afternoon, Cleveland. Here’s some stuff to read while you cancel that trip to Pennsylvania. — Yuengling will be sold in Northeast Ohio starting October 3. The backlash and cries of “most overrated beer of all time” have started already. (NewsNet5) — According to the ABJ, no city in America gave more money to the…
Craigslist Ad of the Day: A Woman is Never As Cute As When She’s Choking
Maybe it’s a damsel in distress thing. Everyone has their avenues of attraction, those particular triggers for sweaty palms and the like. Over on this side of the table, we’re more traditional eyes/smile type guys, call us old fashion. But hey, if a piece of dinner down the wrong windpipe is what trains Cupid’s arrows…
Cleveland Ranked Second Best City for Recent Grads
This Polish blogger guy says I should move to Cleveland. That sounds like a good idea. HuffPo, via data from Apartments.com and CareerRookie, ranked the ten best cities for recent grads. Congrats Cleveland, or prospective Clevelanders, or Cleveland employers, or single folks in Cleveland looking for a fresh batch of 21-25 year-olds to hit on…
This Gentleman Would Like You to Know He’s Done With the Cleveland Browns
Just so you know, this patient, composed young man would like you to know “this shit is ridiculous,” and that he is done with the Cleveland Browns after the team’s loss to the Bengals yesterday. Enjoy his five-minute rant.
Witnesses Mistake Man’s Parkinson’s for Masturbation
A public service announcement courtesy of the police blotters on Mayfield Heights Patch, that guy with his hands moving in his pocket might have a really shitty, degenerative disease, and maybe just maybe isn’t playing with himself while reading the latest issue of Maxim. Security told police at 1:41 p.m. Sept. 5 that a man…
Afternoon Brew: Connie Schultz Apologizes, Masturbating Deputy, Lawsuit Over LeBron’s Movie, and Paul Hamm Fired
Good afternoon, Cleveland. Here’s some stuff to read while you remind your kids not to talk to strangers in the Metroparks this weekend. — An off-duty Sheriff’s department employee was caught masturbating in the Metroparks. He was simply bringing his twigs and berries closer to their brethren. (19 Action News) — Connie Schultz penned an…
Telling the Cops You’re With Al-Qaeda and Are Going to Blow Up The Police Station Will Get the FBI to Visit Your House
It’s been awhile since a police blotter item really caught our eye, but this one from Stow Patch really hits all the marks that you want to see in crazy suburban activity. Enjoy. A woman phoned the Stow Police Department on Wednesday to report a man who had just called and harassed her. She gave…
Lakewood Residents Don’t Want Detroit Theatre to be a McDonald’s (Updated)
Update II: Another step was taken yesterday in the march to build a new McDonald’s on the site of the vacant Detroit Theater, bringing happy meals and increased traffic for all. Micky D’s got conditional approval for the site’s building and signage from the Lakewood Architectural Board of Review (you can see the designs here,…
Bank Robber Wears Ugly Wig, Still Fails to Conceal His Identity
Police are looking for this chap who they say robbed the First Federal of Lorain bank yesterday afternoon. As you can tell from the picture, our suspect could use some lessons on the finer points of concealing one’s identity. Here, our master thief is seen wearing what quite possibly is one of the ugliest wigs…
Happy Birthday Otis Redding; Video From His Last Performance in Cleveland
Otis Redding would have been 70 years old today. The last three shows before his untimely and tragic death, including his last broadcast performance, were in Cleveland. He appeared on WEWS’ nationally syndicated show ‘Upbeat’ on December 9, 1967, and then played two small shows at Leo’s Casino. It was then that Redding and his…
Afternoon Brew: Calling Out Connie Schultz, Voting on Speaking Privileges, Ohio Wages, and Pearl Road Construction
Good afternoon, Cleveland. Here’s some stuff to read while you clear your schedule for the night to watch football. Yes, football is here. Glorious day. — A local conservative blog has a picture of Connie Schultz taking a picture and that’s a thing now. Something about conflict of interest and Josh Mandel. We’re mainly curious…
Ed FitzGerald Targets Delinquent Property Taxes
$461 million in unpaid property taxes are due to Cuyahoga County. There’s another $15 in unpaid court costs on top of that. When Ed FitzGerald’s team looked at the numbers, they discovered that Cuyahoga County has a property tax delinquency rate of 15.2%. That, in a word, is high. Franklin County is at only 7.9%,…
Five More Movies Slated to Be Filmed in Ohio
Ain’t too old for this shit yet. Filming for “The Avengers” in Cleveland is wrapped, but crews and stars spent almost a month making movie magic in the Forest City. Currently, “I, Alex Cross” is shooting whenever Matthew Fox isn’t allegedly punching females in their bathing-suit areas. And somewhere, we hope Jimmy Dimora is filming…
Cops Find Vehicle That May Have Been Involved In Yesterday’s Attempted Abduction
19 Action News reports that cops seized a van they think was involved in the attempted abduction of a 15-year-old girl yesterday on Denison. The vehicle was found near the West Side Market and matched the description given by the victim. No charges have yet been brought against the owner of the van as cops…
Bill to Drug Test Welfare Recipients Inspires Bill to Drug Test Lawmakers
Because Ohio has already solved the state’s unemployment problem, tackled education, and given rainbow-painted puppies to every resident, it’s now time to turn our resolve and focus to drug testing welfare recipients. Because nothing gets Joe Public’s blood boiling like telling him that his tax dollars are going directly to poor people who use that…
Court Upholds Ohio’s ‘No Touching’ Strip Club Law
Back in 2007, Ohio put a law on the books that said your friendly neighborhood strippers and dancers could not touch customers and vice versa. Your $10 or $20 could buy you all the eyefuls of flesh that you want, but no over-the-pants dry humping, no frisky contact, and certainly no sex in the champagne…
Thursday Music Giveaway
We have a huge prize package of Ladytron stuff here. The British electronic band’s new album, Gravity the Seducer, comes out next week. We have a CD copy of the album, a vinyl copy of the album, five older CDs, a flexidisc, and a DVD with some of their videos. Want it? All you have…
Spread the Word
Steven Soderbergh’s Contagion, a star-studded thriller about a deadly global flu epidemic, employs the actual hum of centrifuges and meticulously researched science instead of wild sci-fi speculation. It’s compelling stuff, but uneven. Soderbergh’s stylish direction is somewhat undermined by the cumbersome mechanics of the script, in which multiple intersecting storylines trace the spread of the…
Cleveland School Teachers Already Caught Having Sex With Students, Beating Teens
Sex scandal, or metal bat beat down? Fall, that fleet partywrecker, has got the jump on us already. Outside, the temperature is on a one-way dive toward Damn Cold again. Beer shelves are going empty for Sunday’s home opener. Kids are back in the classroom, huffing chalk dust and allowing education to seep in. Oh,…
Food Network to Buy Lunch for 100 Hodge Podge Fans
The first 100 folks to find Hodge Podge truck this Friday, September 9, will enjoy a free lunch courtesy of the Food Network. The event is in honor of the “Great Food Truck Race,” currently airing on Sunday nights starring the Cleveland-based truck. Similar events are being held in the home cities of the show’s…
Video: Squirrel Evades Capture in the Indians Bullpen This Afternoon
Alex, I’ll take “Things That Are More Entertaining Than Watching the Indians” for $500.
And Here’s The First Pro-SB5 Commercial
Last week brought the first anti-SB5 TV commercial, so in the interest of fairness, here’s the first pro-SB5 TV commercial. It launched today.
‘You Mad Bro?’ Sign at High School Football Game Gets People in Ridiculous Tizzy (Updated)
Update: Some old people have discovered the internet. Fox 8 followed up on this weekend’s hilarity with a new story: “Controversial ‘You Mad Bro’ Sign Decoded?” Included was this gem: “Controversy over a sign held up after a high school football game could be a sign of the times. Young people using web-centric lingo IRL…
Pic of the Day: Joe Haden’s Tribe/Browns Combo Jersey
Joe Haden continuing to do what he does. He threw out the first pitch at last night’s Tribe game in a combo Sizemore/McCoy jersey. (Via Sports Illustrated)
Teachers at Worst 10% of Ohio Schools Will Be Retested
One of the many controversial provisions in the recently passed state budget bill requires all teachers in the worst performing 10 percent of schools to retake their certification tests. Never mind that even the developers of that test cautioned that it’s not designed to evaluate educators already in the field. Many teachers feared the list…
Wednesday Music Swag Giveaway
We have a pretty cool poster for the Horrible Crowes, the new side project from the Gaslight Anthem’s Brian Fallon. It would look great on your wall. Want it? All you have to do is leave a comment with a better name for the band. See, we love their new album Elsie, we just don’t…
Burger Nation
Mike Mariola, the chef and owner of two popular Wooster restaurants, recently opened his third concept. The Rail, located in a new exterior section of Akron’s Summit Mall, is the latest burger bar to pop up in Northeast Ohio. “We sell a ton of burgers at our steakhouse in Wooster,” says Mariola, whose two Wayne…
Out With the Old
For 17 years the Savannah Bar & Grille was the premier blues spot on the West Side. Everyone from Austin “Walkin’ Cane” to Colin Dussault called the Westlake club home. But soon after Doug Lufkin took the reins from longtime owner Jim DePaul in April, fans of the genre suddenly had a real reason to…
CD Review: Cobra Starship
On paper, Cobra Starship look like a freak accident spawned by Snakes on a Plane that turned slumming pop-punk singer Gabe Saporta into the genre’s Will.i.am. But squint through the sugar on their fourth album, and they’re ready to do right by world-class pop subversionists like the Magnetic Fields. Keytarist Victoria Asher gets to sing…
Concert Calendar
Black Moth Super Rainbow You can probably figure out by both their name and the title of their most popular album (Dandelion Gum) that Black Moth Super Rainbow make music that sounds a whole lot better when you’re high. The Pittsburgh collective, led by a guy who calls himself Tobacco, blends elements of old-school psychedelia…
CD Review: The Rapture
It’s been almost a decade since this N.Y.C. indie-rock trio redefined artsy dance-punk for the new millennium with their excellent single “House of Jealous Lovers.” Now in their thirties and back from a five-year break (and also back with James Murphy’s DFA label), the Rapture aim to make up for both lost time and cred-draining…
Get Out!
Thursday | 08 Readers Arise! A Union Man’s Biographer Visits Mac’s Backs If iconic labor organizer and songwriter Joe Hill were alive today to witness the brouhaha over SB 5, he would be all smiles. Then again, the fact that Hill died by firing squad in 1915 is a reminder that the labor movement has…
CD Review: Lindsey Buckingham
For a guy who once waited 14 years between albums, the past five have been relative torrents of creativity for Lindsey Buckingham. His third album since 2006, and his sixth overall, is also his best since 1992’s Out of the Cradle, the record that finally put some distance between Buckingham and Fleetwood Mac. On Seeds…
Tailgate Like a Clevelander
The “Jackson sucks!” chant sure is deafening, but it never quite hits a full boil. It’s a cold and sunny Sunday in November, and in a few short hours the Cleveland Browns will host the Carolina Panthers. On the shoreway, just across from the ginormous Cleveland Municipal Parking Lot, frustrated fans form a conga line…
Top Priority
Art-house theaters are littered with the remains of documentaries with good intentions. In the past decade alone we’ve seen more than our share of movies about troubled third-world countries, Scandinavian sheep herders, and small communities fighting the good fight against corporate greed. The Last Mountain is a documentary with good intentions, a small community, and…
Stay In!
TOP PICK – CD Jimi Hendrix: Winterland (Experience Hendrix/Legacy) The latest wave of Hendrix reissues includes a pair of DVD releases and two CD sets, including this four-disc box that collects songs from six shows Hendrix played in San Francisco in 1968. There’s plenty of previously unreleased material on Winterland, as well as lots of…
Local Band In Focus
Meet the Band: Dave Taha (vocals, guitars), Matt Taha (vocals and bass), and Nick Riley (drums) Same As It Ever Was: Everything Can Change is the title of Filmstrip’s only album, but thing is, nothing has changed. Dave and Matt met Nick in grade school in Lakewood and have been making music together for two…
CD Review: Across the Viaduct
There’s nothing exceptionally edgy about this Canton/Massillon band’s earnest alt-rock/pop-punk hybrid, but there is some solid playing and songwriting here. Some of the their more jangly pop hooks show promise, even though they’ve got a serious Relient K thing going on in “Tennessee,” a six-minute second-coming-of-age Christian rock opus that intertwines an original melody with…
Seeing Brown
This time it’s supposed to be different. Brand-name Super Bowl winner Mike Holmgren is in charge now, and he’s got his guy now as the new head coach. Since Art Modell took the real Browns to Baltimore, we’ve weathered 12 seasons that produced two winning records and zero playoff wins; in the NFL, parity is…
Euclid Shuffle
The story of the Cleveland Play House’s impending move to a cluster of new theaters three miles west on Euclid Avenue involves, as artistic director Michael Bloom points out, “brutal economics, creative synergy, and a whiff of raw sewage.” With phase one of the new Play House complex slated to debut on September 16 (yes,…
Café Society
What an absolutely nonsensical idea, we all agreed, when we first learned of Fountain. Described as a European-style café, the spot planned to serve coffee in the morning, light lunch by day, tapas in the evening, and cocktails and dancing by night. Clearly another half-baked scheme by a virgin restaurateur, we figured Fountain was destined…
Your Number’s Up
Blink-182 are known for a lot of things that have nothing to do with their music: dick jokes, ass-flashing audiences, breaking up, Travis Barker’s near-death experience. Yet somehow, after almost 20 years, it’s all coming back around to the band’s pioneering punk-pop music. After splitting in 2005, the Los Angeles trio announced its reunion at…
At the Arthouse This Week
Dead Man Jonathan Rosenbaum, a movie critic who’s penned tons of books and wrote for the Chicago Reader for years, will be visiting the Cinematheque next month. In anticipation of his visit, our favorite art house is screening 10 of Rosenbaum’s favorite movies. Dead Man, Jim Jarmusch’s 1995 weirdo western starring Johnny Depp, is one…
Drink Master of the Week
Listen to his Noodlecat co-workers rave about his work and you might think bar manager Dean Sauer is some kinda genius. Taste a couple of his cocktails, and you’ll suspect they are right. Libations like the Collins Cloud ($10), Long Thailand Ice Tea ($10), and especially the signature Seasonal Chuhai ($8) are like nothing else…
Home Movies
X-Men: First Class (Twentieth Century Fox) Matthew Vaughn reboots the superhero squad in this terrific prequel, which focuses on the people behind the mutants. James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender play pals Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr before they become arch enemies Professor X and Magneto. As they assemble the X-Men (including Lenny Kravitz’s daughter and…
On View This Week
At Zygote Press: The Medium Is the Message The majority of Dana Oldfather’s work is oil paintings: abstract pieces in which free-flowing, organic forms float across slightly crinkled organic grids inside vast but oddly inviting white space. So her shift toward more representational art in Give Us a Fence and Some Room to Run, her…
We Get Mail
Where There Isn’t a Will … It’s sad to read Anastasia Pantsios’ piece about the financial plight of the Beachland Ballroom and its Waterloo Road neighborhood [“The Beachland’s Waterloo,” August 17, 2011]. Having watched Cleveland and Cuyahoga County’s largess for entrepreneurs and developers for decades, I’ve seen tens of millions — make that hundreds of…
Film Capsules
Seven Days in Utopia (G) Golfer Luke Chisolm (played by Lucas Black, who has a fine swing), pushed to excel since childhood by his ambitious dad (shades of Tiger Woods), has a humiliating meltdown during his tournament debut. He hits the road and crashes into a fence in golden-hued Utopia, Texas, where he’s rescued by…
