Vincent Stafford Gets Hit With Suspension for Continued Douchebaggery (Updated)
Vince Stafford. Update: The Ohio Supreme Court ruled unanimously in a 7-0 vote to bestow upon the great douchewad Vince Stafford a one-year suspension. He will spend his new-found free time eating children. (Cleveland.com) *** Four years ago we introduced you to the two-man wrecking crew of brothers Joseph and Vincent Stafford, the brash attorneys…
Video: Hilarious Interview with Charlie Sheen
Cleveland can barely contain itself today, what with Charlie Sheen being in town and all. Just about every news outlet threw out calls on Twitter and Facebook this morning imploring anyone who saw the Warlock around town to let them know where he was at, presumably so they could stick a mic in his face…
Press Conference Heralds Open Season for Courting Immigrants
Regional leaders gathered Tuesday at the former BP Building to celebrate the launch of Global Cleveland, a new program designed to stem the tide of Cleveland’s outward migration by courting immigrants to live and work here. The program’s key announcements included news of a Global Cleveland Welcome Hub, a sort of service center for newcomers…
Explore 1877 Cleveland
Well, this is about the coolest thing we’ve seen all week. The Big Map Blog has an explorable, zoomable bird’s-eye Ruger Litho of 1877 Cleveland. Go ahead click on this link and be amazed. Absolutely beautiful and mesmerizing and intricate. (Via Cuyahoga Planning)
It’s the Iguanas, Not Pot
A choice nugget from the police blotters this week, via Patch Strongsville: Police were called to the Chestnut Lake Apartments April 1 when someone reported smelling marijuana coming from one of the units. Officers said they did not smell marijuana. The tenant told police he lives with six lizards and was burning incense to cover…
Outdoor Smoking Ban Proposed in Cleveland
Councilman Joe Cimperman, who obviously doesn’t enjoy trips to flavor country, has proposed an ordinance to ban smoking in public places “connected to the city of Cleveland.” Via NewsNet5, that would include: – City-owned public parks- City-owned outdoor recreation areas- City-owned swimming pools- Picnic shelters within city-owned parks & recreation areas- Public Square- Downtown malls…
Cuyahoga Falls Mayor is Scared of Goth Kids, Piercings
Cuyahoga Falls is all aflutter over a proposed 8:00 p.m. curfew for anyone under 18. Proponents say that the riverfront area has become a meeting ground for the dreaded undesirables. Loitering kids are hanging out under bridges, and that, friends, calls for drastic action. Mayor Don Robart is particularly worried about a couple of things:…
Cuyahoga Prescription Discount Card Good for the Dogs
Last year, Cuyahoga County unveiled its Prescription Discount Card, which is good for an average of 22 percent off at major pharmacies everywhere. Advertised at county employment offices, the program is free to everyone and is not restricted by income or existing insurance. Also not restricted: The beneficiary’s species. The discount can be used for…
Cleveland vs. Wall Street — Our Housing Crisis Hits the Big Screen This Week
Cleveland returns to the big screen this week with the local premiere of Cleveland Versus Wall Street, the most talked-about Forest City flick that has nothing to do with Charlie Sheen. Just like Cleveland itself, the movie has already stirred up interest overseas thanks to its innovative mesh of fact and fiction. Back in the…
The Quality of Cleveland Life Report
Your guide to thriving in fabulous Cleveland.This Might Hurt a Little : ODOT spokesman compares noise from Inner Belt Bridge construction to “elevator music,” which is a nice way of saying there will be incessant pounding during normal waking hours, but at least there’s no trip to the dentist at the end of the ride.…
Indians Attendance at Record-Breaking Lows
After an Opening Day sellout, the Tribe played to the two smallest crowds in Jacobs Field history over the weekend. 9,853 showed up Saturday, which was a new low since The Jake opened in 1994. And then only 8,726 came through the turnstiles Sunday (well, not exactly, that’s just paid attendance), setting a new, lower…
Housing For Artists: Where Will The Money Go?
Gordon Square Arts District Come fall, one Cleveland neighborhood will offer artists more than inspiration and the camaraderie of fellow creatives. The Artists in Residence initiative announced Monday by the Community Partnership for Arts and Culture will provide loans for artists buying or renovating property, home ownership services, and grants for artists undertaking community projects.…
AirTran Ranked Best Airline in Quality Study
We’ve already proclaimed our love for the Akron-Canton airport — that convenient, easy, cheap, totally hassle-free gem just down I-77. Now, Akron-Canton’s flagship airline is getting love, too. The Wall Street Journal reports that AirTran vaulted to No. 1 in airline quality rankings this year. Low-cost carrier AirTran had the best overall performance of the…
Willard Woman Gets 15 Balloons of Heroin in “Body Cavity”
Color us curious. File this away under WTF. Because what else ruffles up your concept of humanity than a story about someone stowing large amounts of narcotics in their underhead compartment. This particular data point in the ongoing fall of Western Civilization comes out of Willard, where 31-year-old Sheri Rister was taking a Sunday drive…
What to Expect From Charlie Sheen’s Show Tuesday Night?
Charlie Sheen’s Violent Torpedo of Irrelevance comes to Playhouse Square tomorrow night. Tickets to his live show were outrageously priced but sold out quickly. What should Cleveland expect? Well, Sheen’s first show in Detroit was a boo-inspiring display of arrogance and complete non-planning. Chuckles didn’t even complete his “show.” Via Gawker: According to reports, “Violent…
Lady Threatens Staph Infection During Robbery (Updated)
Here’s a cute cat, because no one wants to see a picture of a staph infection. Update: Caroline Slusher, who had been on the run since the MRSA incident in October, was arrested on March 30. She pleaded not guilty this morning to one count of theft and one count of robbery. (WOIO) Some people…
The Problem With Depicting Cleveland
The Smithsonian Mag’s April issue had a nice piece from native Clevelander Charles Michener on the hope and revival of our humble town. It stopped short of glowing, but nevertheless took readers on a guided tour of reasons to be thankful for Cleveland. Greg Ruffing was the photographer for the article, and he writes on…
Concert Review: The Hold Steady at House of Blues
About one year ago, the Hold Steady dropped by Cleveland just before the official release of Heaven is Whenever. The Beachland show was heavy on cuts from the new album, the band’s fifth — a generally so-so effort on par with Stay Positive. Lop off the mediocre songs from each, fuse the two together, and…
Pic of the Day: A Tricycle From the 1800s
You find old sweatpants and fifth-grade participation ribbons in your basement. John Wolf found a tricycle from the 1800s. Via the Sandusky Register: Wolf’s son, Robby Wolf, recently rediscovered the tricycle in the basement of his Sandusky home when he was moving aside some G.I. Joe figures and Lionel Trains — collector’s items in their…
Concert Review: The Books at the Beachland
The Books heard that Apple is a good investment. The quiet, respectful crowd lazily filled in the Beachland as the Books took the stage Thursday night, armed with many acoustic instruments — cello, violin, guitars — complemented by a fine blend of found sounds and vocal samples. Meanwhile, cut-up footage delivered borderline sensory overload by…
The Price of “Easter” In an Egg Hunt: $500
Brightly-colored plastic eggs hidden and hunted, delighted youngsters romping through the park with candy rewards; the scene is the definitive sign of spring in communities everywhere. For the first time, an egg romp will be held in Geauga County’s tiny Munson Township this year. The problem? Controversy over naming the event has gone national. When…
Rabbit Hole
Hop is the story of two twentysomething slackers with overbearing fathers. One (James Marsden) is a jobless human; the other (voiced by Russell Brand) is the future Easter Bunny, who’d rather play drums than deliver baskets. Their worlds collide, literally, when Fred the human hits E.B. the rabbit with his car and reluctantly agrees to…
Cincinnati Couple Ran Drugs Out of Home Daycare
“Yes, fill the little baggie with the white sand. Good job! Who wants ice cream?” Try as we might, we can’t think of a better place to run a criminal enterprise out of than a daycare. Or wait, is that too obvious? Is it one of those it’s-so-unlikely-it’s-likely things? Damn hyper-meta world we live in.…
Kent State Student a Charlie Sheen Intern Finalist
Remember Charlie Sheen? Yeah, we can barely remember what the whole hubbub was about either. But apparently during his frenetic stretch of non-stop media interviews and getting canned from his show, he announced he was looking for an intern. An intern with tiger blood. He threw out the offer and more than 80,000 jumped at…
Reimagined Dragonfly Has Wings
The newly reimagined Dragonfly officially reopens tomorrow with a flavor-packed menu of pan-Asian cuisine. Partners Jeff Allison and Adam Waldbaum have been using the past few days to show off the changes to family, friends and media. We stopped in last night for a small private reception and were impressed by what we saw and…
Progressive Field Is Just a Little Bit Snowy
Yes, they’re really going to play a baseball game on that field tomorrow. Bring out the leaf blowers! Surely Progressive Field Jacobs Field will be ready. (Via NewsNet5)
Entrepreneurship on the Decline According to Cleveland Fed
The Cleveland Fed reports that it’s not just established businesses that are hurting from the recession, it’s also start-ups, which makes sense. A recent report on entrepreneurship pegs population-adjusted business stats that show, A) The number began falling before the official onset of the recession, and B) A fall-off-the-cliff dive in recent years. The New…
Austin Carr Calls Chris Bosh a “RuPaul Look-Alike”
We tend to think Chris Bosh looks like an alien, but not as alien-like as Sam Cassell. Austin Carr thinks the Heat center looks like someone else — RuPaul. Here’s audio/video from Tuesday night’s Cavs/Heat game with Carr’s quip.
Pic of the Day: ‘IM SOBER’ License Plate Not Suspicious At All
‘IM 5OBER.’ Nice. Real? If you zoom in close enough, it looks like the ‘R’ might be handwritten/painted on the license plate, but we can’t tell. Actually, if someone got ‘IM 5OBE’ from the BMV knowing the sphincters would have vetoed the full ‘IM 5OBER,’ and just added the ‘R’ on themselves, that’s brilliant. But…
Inner Belt Bridge Construction Will Be Noisy
Construction began in earnest Wednesday on the new Inner Belt Bridge. Crews are pounding I-beams deep into the bedrock to form the foundation for the $287.4 million project. If you didn’t notice already, you probably will soon. It’s going to be… um… noisy. Ohio Department of Transportation spokeswoman Jocelynn Clemings told the PD, “It will…
Concert Review: Queens of the Stone Age at House of Blues
“Nicotine, Valium, Vicodin, blah, blah, blah … ” Offering mostly nostalgia for longtime fans, Queens of the Stone Age revisited their entire self-titled debut album, and at least one track from each of their subsequent releases, for a sold-out crowd at House of Blues last night. The band came out five deep, led by their…
Concert Review: Kurt Vile and the Violators/ J. Mascis at the Grog Shop
A lot of lessons in the air last night at the Kurt Vile/ J. Mascis show at the Grog Shop. Like if you buy a faux leather jacket from Urban Outfitters, make sure you’re not standing within a handshakes distance from two other concert goers in the exact same duds. And no matter the discount…
The Akron Aeros Continue Their Quest to Make You Fat
First, there was the hot dog stuffed in a brat stuffed in a kielbasa. Then there was the hamburger stuffed with a hot dog. You would think the Akron Aeros would be done concocting calorie and fat-laden concessions for fans this year. Nope. You’re familiar with the dollops of ice cream served in mini replica…
Matt Fish Divulges Third Melt is in the Works (Updated)
Update: We didn’t get around to posting this yesterday, but Independence will be the location of the third outpost for Melt. (Cleveland.com) *** Matt Fish has just divulged that he has signed a lease to open a third Melt Bar and Grilled. The new restaurant is slated to open by the end of September and…
You’d Think the Owner of “LBJ CAVS” License Plate Would Have Ditched It By Now
Via @demeatloaf, here’s a license plate some Cavs fan is still rocking more than six months after LeBron ditched the Cavs. We know these are tough times and BMV fees can be steep, but you’d think he/she would have forked over the extra dough to avoid driving around in a daily reminder of LeBron’s betrayal.…
Cuyahoga County Is Not Healthy
The results of the new County Health Rankings, courtesy of the University of Wisconsin Population Health Institute and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, came out yesterday, but we didn’t notice — we were eating doughnuts, chain smoking, drinking beer, and free-basing pizza. What did we miss? Apparently Cuyahoga County is not healthy, ranking 69th out…
Obese Man Sits In Chair For Two Years, Has to Be Cut Away After Skin Attaches to Chair (Updated)
Update: WKKX radio is reporting that the man has died. (WTRF) ***Those faint of heart and weak of stomach might want to bypass this post. Officials in Bellaire, Ohio, dealt with a stomach-curdling case this week as they arrived at the home of a man who had sat in the same chair for two years.…
Video: Duane Kuiper’s Lone Home Run
Duane Kuiper holds a special place in the history of the Cleveland Indians: the tiny second baseman had just one home run during his career. The picture is from a ceremony with Doug Dieken and former Tribe manager Dave Garcia to honor Kuiper’s “first” home run. Of course, it would be his last. As SI…
Misspelling on Parking Ticket Envelopes Has Repurcussions
Anyone who’s received a traffic camera ticket in Cleveland knows it’s all about the details. Those lovely notifications arrive in your mailbox bearing the time, location, speed, date of your infraction, and a handsome photo for your scrapbook. But it seems the finer points don’t go both ways. Envelopes recently mailed from Cleveland’s Ministry of…
Indians Commercial Should Get You Pumped For Opening Day
Tribe opening day is Friday, which is the best holiday of the entire year. How will the Wahoos fare this year? Who knows, probably not as well as we’d hope, but they could be turning some hypothetical corner at some not-too-distant hypothetical date. Until then, here’s a new commercial from the Tribe. It’s pretty freaking…
Woman Flips Car, Loses Tires, Drives Wrong Way on Highway, Hits Another Car, Keeps Going
An Akron woman pulled off a stunning trifecta of hazardous and horrendous driving mishaps yesterday that luckily left no one severely injured or dead. Police say that a woman flipped her Chevy near 224 West and I-76. This would be about the time to call AAA and get the vehicle to a shop for damage…
Wayne Weber, Troubled Father, Killed in East Side Shooting
Weber and his son. Last year, Scene shared the controversial story of Wayne Weber, a troubled Chagrin Falls father caught up in an ugly custody battle that had kept him from his nine-year-old son for two years [“Ripped at the Seams,” September 8, 2010]. Weber, 49, was killed March 18 in a shooting on Cleveland’s…
Floyd Mayweather is a Believelander Too
The bet slip. In what forever forward may be known to fans not up for Medicare in these parts as The Game, the Cavs stomped the Heat 102-90 last night. But you already knew that. Your pulsing hangover keeps reminding you. And reminding you. And reminding you. One great part about last night’s karmafest was…
Pic of the Day: Colt McCoy and a 5-Foot Snake
How’s Browns quarterback Colt McCoy spending his time during the NFL’s labor unrest? Hunting for snakes, of course. OK, not really hunting, but finding, for sure. Yesterday he tweeted out this pic of a 5-foot snake he found under his truck. He seems remarkably composed and at ease holding such a demonic animal. We’ll refrain…
We Get Mail
A City in the Sewer Anyone who has ever lived in Lorain knows of the corruption that exists within the police department and city politics [“Excessive Force,” March 2, 2011]. The whole city is going down the sewer at the hands of those that allegedly serve and protect. These guys all need to be brought…
Stay In!
TOP PICK — CDs Pearl Jam: Vs. & Vitalogy: Deluxe Edition (Columbia/Legacy) Pearl Jam’s last two classics (from 1993 and 1994) sound even more charged in this three-disc reissue that includes expanded editions of both albums plus a live CD. The outtakes and rarities (including fan fave “Crazy Mary”) are cool, but the 1994 concert…
Home Movies
Stand by Me (Sony) Is there a better movie about friendship, growing up, and dead bodies? The coming-of-age classic celebrates its 25th anniversary with a Blu-ray debut that tags on picture-in-picture commentary by director Rob Reiner and stars Wil Wheaton and Corey Feldman. The movie itself holds up a quarter century later. Based on a…
Local Band In Focus
Meet the Band: Michael Harvan (vocals, guitars, keys), Doc Blankenhorn (banjo, fiddle, lap steel, strings), Ron Cerosky (bass), and Joel Eric Geiser (percussion) What They Do: The Akron-based Americana quartet has been playing together for two years, developing an enduring, multigenerational take on working-man’s roots music. For Spinnin’: The five-song Crushing Plant EP was released…
Best of Cleveland 2011: Arts & Entertainment
Is it the teeming gallery districts or the nightlife hotspots? The metalheads or the singer-songwriters? It’s all of that and more, with new chapters written daily. Best Singer Brett M. Burlison The frontman for seven-piece Irish punks Craic (it’s pronounced crack and translates into something like “having a helluva good time” in Gaelic) has the…
CD Review: Peter Bjorn and John
On their last album, 2009’s Living Thing, whistling Swedes Peter Bjorn and John shed their peppy pop and headed in an electronic direction, scattering various blips and beeps across still kinda-poppy songs for a dense and multilayered record. They’ve stripped to the basics for their sixth outing, Gimme Some, their loosest album since the breakthrough…
Best of Cleveland 2011: Food & Drink
How do you know your food scene has arrived? When the nation raves about your fine dining and chefs — but also your grilled-cheese sandwiches. Welcome to America’s new culinary epicenter. Best Restaurant, Best Sandwich Shop, Best Taste of Cleveland & Best Local-Food Champ Melt Bar & Grilled Five years after its Lakewood founding, almost…
On View This Week
Fantasy League Akron’s All-Star Jazz honors a photography legend — Jazz history comes alive in black and white in All-Star Jazz, the Akron Art Museum’s new showcase of photographs by Herman Leonard. This is one of the first major exhibitions focusing on the renowned jazz photographer and visual historian since his death at 87 last…
Best of Cleveland 2011: People & Places
Welcome to a city that was built to last. We’re gritty, good-natured, and caring as they come — the kind of people all others strive to be.</P. Best Reason to Love Cleveland The People We’ve been an easy target for a lot of years. Now the joke is on everybody who overlooked us. As long…
Reason to Believe
When Jason Dean finished his military service and moved to Cleveland in 2008, he immediately turned to Craigslist to see if any metal bands were looking for a lead screamer. He got lucky with his very first call to Ruled by Reason. “I tried out for them once and they said, ‘You’re it,'” recalls Dean.…
Best of Cleveland 2011: Sports & Recreation
It’s about our sports teams, but also about the endless riches that surround us: our parks and beaches, our forests and waterways. Yeah, there’s always next year — but there’s this year too. Best Team Cleveland Browns You say they’ve hit a rough patch over the last generation or so? You’ll excuse fans for choosing…
CD Review: Simeon Soul Charger
Led by former Trendy frontman Aaron Brooks, Akron’s Simeon Soul Charger is one of the area’s best new bands. After a pair of EPs, their debut album, Meet Me in the Afterlife, thrives on stretching out. The opening “Vendanta (The Nothing),” a post-prog workout that recalls the Mars Volta, carries on for nearly six minutes.…
Home Movies
Black Swan Now that all the Oscar talk and buzzy chitchat surrounding Black Swan is over, can we get down to how fucked up Darren Aronofsky’s backstage thriller really is? Natalie Portman gives the performance of her career as a ballet dancer whose descent into madness arrives just as she lands her first big role.…
Here Come the Greenhornes
Jack Lawrence does triple duty as the bassist for the Raconteurs, the Dead Weather, and the Greenhornes, the garage-rock band he co-founded 15 years ago in Cincinnati. He never forgets which band he’s playing with on any given day, but you can forgive him if he ever does. Before they released their fourth album, ****,…
On Stage This Week
Last Call Cleveland Michael Stanley Superstar! Legends never die, the old saying goes; they just go on to become classic rock DJs while puerile comedians pick easy jokes off of their decaying carcasses. So it goes with Michael Stanley Superstar: The Unauthorized Autobiography of the Cuyahoga Messiah. The brainchild of the endearingly brainless comedy troupe…
Best of the Rest
The 35th Cleveland International Film Festival has reached its halfway point, but there are still plenty of great movies on the schedule through Sunday. Here are 10 you should check out. Autumn Gold Documentary about old people training for a track and field championship. Two of these dudes even competed in the 1936 Olympics! Bibliotheque…
CD Review: The Mountain Goats
John Darnielle has amassed hundreds of songs over the years, starting in the ’90s with a series of low-fi boombox recordings. His compact, fictional style of songwriting pockets dread on All Eternals Deck, especially in the four songs produced by death-metal musician Erik Rutan. (The album’s other three producers also helped flesh out the subdued…
Sweet Jane
Literary adaptations are tough, especially when you have a book as well-known, and as long, as Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre. Cary Fukunaga, director of the gritty immigrant tale Sin Nombre, seems like an unlikely choice for the latest take on this classic, but it may be the loveliest version ever put on film. Alice in…
CD Review: The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
On their self-titled 2009 debut, Brooklyn indie-poppers the Pains of Being Pure at Heart were all cutesy and twee. Their second album kicks off with a blast of retro fuzz that sounds like prime Smashing Pumpkins, and it doesn’t let up. Produced and mixed, respectively, by Flood and Alan Moulder (whose credits include My Bloody…
Best of Cleveland 2011
Why us? Why now? Because we’ve earned it. These days, the joke is on everyone who ever doubted the resilience of Cleveland and its people. Forever proud and forever believing in our dreams, we’ve earned the right to usher in the new day that’s finally dawned all around us. Welcome to your future, Cleveland. The…
Concert Calendar
J Mascis/Sebadoh Dinosaur Jr. return to town this week. Only problem, the two core members won’t be onstage at the same time. The split between J Mascis and Lou Barlow is the stuff of indie-rock legend — the former heading off to a solo career while the latter formed Sebadoh. Mascis (pictured) has long been…
Best of Cleveland 2011: Shops & Wares
No place on earth so easily blends the convenience of modern shopping with the unrivaled charm of our hundreds of small businesses. Trends will come and go, but we will always be Clevelanders serving Cleveland. Best Health-Food Store Nature’s Bin No other place in town cares more about vegetarians and healthy eating than Nature’s Bin.…
Time After Time
The time-space continuum offers an eon’s worth of problems for filmmakers. How do you get from Point A to Point B without losing grasp of your whole movie? How do you explore all the moral and ethical quandaries involved in messing with time like this? And, most important, how do you sell an audience on…
Get Out!
Thursday | 31 Tribute to a Film Legend Your Date With Kate What better way to wrap up Women’s History Month than with a screening of the 1942 classic Woman of the Year, starring Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy? The romantic comedy not only won that year’s Oscar for best original screenplay, but, with the…
